Roses From Rosalynn and Project Sweet Peas Fundraiser

For those of you who are friends with me on facebook will be driven nuts over the next few weeks by this announcement:-)

For those of you who are NOT friends with me on facebook, first; shame on you, and second; this is for you!

Roses from Rosalynn is the project I started in memory of my daughter. the non-profit project is a "daughter" project, or local project to Project Sweet Peas which is the international organization. A few times a year we have big group fundraisers. This time we chose to do a t-shirt sale.

This is where BOTH of my loves, Roses from Rosalynn  and my photography came together. They needed a picture to put on the front of the shirt. It needed to show the love that a parent has for a child without having a specific person on it. We wanted it to be personal. I submitted a photo I took during a newborn session with a friend of mine and her son who also spent 6 days in the NICU, like Ava. The picture was more than just a symbol of parental love, it was also personal because it was of a family that had suffered and persevered through the roller coaster that is the NICU.

Well, my photo was chosen, and God willing, will be worn all across the nation as a way of promoting awareness of stillbirth and NICU struggles.

We have shirts for both NICU and Angel parents. They are not that expensive, and even if you haven't lived through a loss or a stay in the NICU, you can still purchase a shirt that says "I Support Project Sweet Peas" and support this great organization. Also, to you NICU nurses, there are shirts that say "I am a NICU nurse" or "I Save Sweet Peas" that are PERFECT for you!!! There will be a spot on the form that asks what project you are supporting. If you don't mind, please specify Roses from Rosalynn, because I will get credit towards my project.

 http://projectsweetpeas.com/2012Tshirts.aspx

Thank you all in advance. please feel free to message me if you have any questions. Also, IF there is enough interest, we will be making child sized ones and onsies, so PLEASE let me know if you would be interested in buying one in those sizes, and I will get back to you if we have enough interest to produce them!

Thirty-One PArty to Benefit Roses from Rosalynn!!

He there everyone!! This past sunday I hosted a Thirty one party! It was a lot of fun and had a lot of great women attend. The consultant is an old friend from highschool, and she had told me if I hosted a party, that I she would donate a portion of the profits to Roses from Rosalynn. Now, I know living all over tha country, you couldn't attend the big event, but if you act fast, you can still contribute to this great cause!! Go to this link, and order by Wednesday morning, and you will be able to be a part of donating to Roses from Rosalynn!!!


http://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/eventhome.aspx?eventId=E711106&from=MYEVENTS

Hurry!! Time is running out!

Bag Deliveries!! (Long Overdue Post!)

This is LONG overdue! I have made two deliveries so far. The first was a single bag and the second was a group of 11 bags to the bereavement group at OSU medical center.




The first bag delivery was a very emotional one for me. I received a phone call from my sister telling me that a baby in their NICU would be taken off the ventilator later that morning, and was wondering if I happened to have a bag in my car. I said I didn't, but when I got off of work, I would head home and grab one and bring it back to the hospital. When I got off at 6am, I drove home, and the tears started streaming. I was overcome with the grief for this family, for myself, for my precious baby girl, and for this precious baby girl who would be passing in a matter of hours. It was a hard delivery. I pulled up to the front of the hospital still in tears. My sister met me because I was not ready to meet a family in this process. One day maybe, but not yet, my own grief is still too fresh and raw. Bug had tears in her eyes ass well. She was supposed to get off at 7am, but decided to stick around until the family showed up in order to present them with the bag, and be with them as they said goodbye to their daughter. I honestly don't know how she does it. She is one strong cookie! From what Bug told me, the mom was extremely thankful for the items in the bag, and will cherish them forever. that is all I want to hear! This is why I do this!



For Rosalynn's first birthday in Heaven, I wanted to make a delivery to the hospital I gave birth to her in. So on April 19th, exactly one year from the day that I walked into those doors only to find out my beautiful daughter's heart had stopped, I met with Joan.



Joan has been an integral part of my healing process. She is one of the chaplains at Ohio State University Medical center that deals with baby loss. She took Rosie and bathed her, dressed her, and presented her to me all wrapped in her pink knitted blanket to be baptized. She sat with me for hours and let me cry. She spent time with my family and most of all treated my beautiful angel with love and respect. She found a beautiful dress to put my baby girl in that we ended up burrying her in. She also rounded up a memory box that now holds the few things I have to cherish.



My sister and Aunt walked into the hospital and were greeted with hugs and smiles. Joan was ecstatic to see me after this whole year, and was even more thrilled to find out we were expecting Rosie's brother or sister. We sat in her office and talked for a good hour. She told us that she had just come from a family who lost their baby that day. This makes me so sad that a project like mine is even needed! I ached for that family, because exactly one year ago we had been in the same situation. I know the hell they will be going through for the next few months; the questions, the pain, the dark places. At that moment, the family felt like there would be no tomorrow, that their lives had ended. Yes, their lives had ended the way that they have known them, but all I wanted to do was go up there, hug the mom and dad, and tell them that things will get better, that the pain will never really go away, but the days will get easier to get through. I was living proof that one year later I was smiling, pregnant again, and filled with hope; feelings that on April 19/20th 2010 I never thought I would experience again.



Of course we took pictures!

See the embroidery? My aunt did that! And on the back of the bags is the Project Sweet Peas Logo...i LOVE the bags!! And I love all the little Bear heads peeking out from the top:-)

Bug, Me and Joan



The Post Everyone Has Been Praying For!!

***Warning to BLMs...pregnancy triggers****

If you have learned anything about me over the past eleven months, is that I am not one to hold anything back. It is almost impossible for me to keep a secret, just ask my family. I have to wait until the last minute to buy Christmas presents, or else I tell everyone what I got them before Christmas morning rolled around. When I got the positive pregnancy test on Sunday, Foster and I were convinced we were going to keep this a secret until at least Rosie's birthday on April 20th. I wasn't going to tell my family, my friends, and I was definitely NOT posting on facebook or my blog. However, after reflecting on the positives and negatives of telling this soon, I realized the positives outweighed the negatives.

If I told everyone I was pregnant now, there would be so much hope in people's hearts. Of course there would be the fear, but I am praying HOPE would beat out. Fear is from the devil, HOPE is from God (Remember this post?). Also, if I told everyone now, I would have an astounding amount of prayers all over the country, even the world praying for this little pumpkin. After all, doesn't the bible say "Where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in their midst." (Matthew 18:20).  The way I figure, although we are not all in the same building, we are all praying for the same cause, a happy healthy pregnancy and a crying baby in nine months. IF God forbid anything happens to this baby, I will have a support group. My friends and family will already know about it, and help me through another tough time. Trust me, I am not trying to be negative, however, I am VERY aware of the odds this early in a pregnancy.

The negatives were obviously losing the baby early on in the pregnancy, and also possibly losing followers of my blog. I have debated starting another blog for my rainbow baby, however, I purposefully named my blog "Journey of Life and Love" because I knew I did not want it to be just a blog about Rosie. Obviously that is the reason I started online blogging, but this space is about my life. Plus I have felt Rosalynn present more in the past week than I have in a few months. She is all around me and Foster, and has been showing us signs left and right (I will post about these signs tomorrow!).

That being said, please realize this is not a cure for my grief. Getting pregnant again will NOT stop me from loving Rosalynn, it will not make me forget about her, and it will not stop me from pursuing the things I am doing in her name. If anything, these past few days have made me miss her even more. All I think about is how she would be a great big sister, and she should be here with us going through this with us. I have been an emotional basket case. Remember the definition of a "Rainbow Baby" The understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened, the family is not still dealing with the aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover, but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy, and hope."

So how far along are we.....EARLY. Tomorrow I will be 4 weeks. That's right, I am going against what most would do. Most women would be afraid of announcing this early. However, remember, I did not lose one in the first trimester, I lost Rosie in the THIRD!! So, my new motto is "No matter what happens tomorrow, I am pregnant today, and I am going to celebrate that, and thank God every morning I wake up still pregnant." I am going to let this little pumpkin get all the love he/she deserves regardless of the amount of time he/she is in my womb.

Thank you all for you continued prayers and support. First u/s scheduled for March 31!!

TAX EXEMPT!!!!

I would like to announce that it is official. After waiting and much hard work from our Project Sweet Peas board members, Project Sweet Peas is officially a501(c)3 tax exempt non-profit organization! I have mentioned before that PSP is a non-profit, but we finally have our tax exempt status now! what does this mean? Anyone who sends a donation to Roses From Rosalynn (or any other local PSP project for that matter) will be mailed the paper work to apply it to their taxes at the end of the year. It gets better! If you donated since I got Roses From Rosalynn up and running (around OCT/NOV) and you have not filed your 2010 taxes, you can message me and I will send you the form for last year. I am thrilled to be a part of this amazing group of women who are so dedicated to helping other families in  time of need.

This tax exempt status will hopefully open doors wide for more donations from bigger companies, along with grants. Let's get Roses from Rosalynn all through Ohio, and Project Sweet Peas in all 50 states! If you are interested in starting your own local project, email me, or log onto Projectsweetpeas.com and send an email their way and express your interest.

Thank you everyone for your continued support and generosity!

Welcome...and Sad to See You Go

So I noticed I have picked up a few more followers, and also that I have lost some people. It is sad to see people drop from my friend list, but I understand that some people have to move on.  I lost a few after my last post about drill weeknds, and I hope I didn't offend anyone, especially my military spouses and members out there. I want to clarify something, I love my country and I love the Army. The problems I have are not with either one of these. Prior to losing Rosalynn I thought I was invincible. Nothing could hurt me, and I was willing to callenge life. My priorities were completely different. Since April, my life was turned upside down, and everything has changed. The other night when I was writing that post, I was crying as I told David how upset and angry I was how things have turned out. Not just with losing my child, but with how let down I have been by my unit. I feel like that kid who has been completely let down by their parents. Before I joined, and when I was in training, my perception of the military was they would protect their own. I was convinced that if I was ever in trouble, they would be like family.

I cried because I had felt abandoned by the family I thought I could rely on. This is enough to make anyone feel angry and bitter. Foster and I have mulled over different plans of action; discharge for depression, asking to be transfered to a different unit, etc., but I am going to stick it out. I am not a quitter. I mentioned we have a new First Sergeant and a new Comander. Although I have not yet talked one on one with the new commander, I have talked to the 1SG and I hope he is passing on information to my CO. From the looks of it, this new leadership seems to be more in tuned with my ideals of what the military should be, my second family. I feel like I have renewed hope. I am praying that this is not like the abandoned child who gets their hopes up when their deadbeat father comes back for a week or two, promises to stick around, buys the child gifts, and then ends up leaving again. I am optimistic that this is a situation where a new leadership means new priorities. So far it seems good, but I am not going to get my expectations up too high.

For those of you who just joined me, I promise I do not complain and whine in every post. I am actually a pretty upbeat person for everything life has thrown at me this past year. I have been married to the man of my dreams, my prince charming, for a little over a year now. We are a dual military status couple. He is active duty in the National Guard, and I am a traditional guardsman. I am a full time student 5 weeks away from graduating with my bachelors in Psychology, and I work full time in and emergency room, which I absolutely love.....most of the time. On April 20th, 2010 Foster and I lost our first and only child, Rosalynn @ 34weeks5days gestation, a mear 3 weeks from our scheduled c-section, to stillbirth. Three weeks after that, Mama Red, Foster's best friend's mom passed away the night before Mother's Day. She was like a second mother to him. Three weeks after that, MY best friend's mom passed away from pancreatic cancer. She was a light in my life for the past 29 years. She was one of the most selfless, caring, Christian women I have ever known, and when in six weeks three very important people in my life passed, I was rocked to the core. I have been tested in so many ways. My faith, my marriage, and my sanity have all been tested these past 10 months, and I feel like I have come out stronger. My marriage has flourished and somehow become stronger that thitanium, the devil has not won in his pursuit of tearing me away from God, and my sanity....well, the jury is still out on this:-)

I thank you for joining my journey as I find ways of coping with my grief through writing, photography and my new non-profit project "Roses from Rosalynn with Project Sweet Peas". I have met so many amazing people through this blog who have enriched my life more than I could ever have imagined. Please do not be a stranger. I love comments and try to respond to any of you who take the time to write me (as long as you have the setting that allows me to reply by email to your comment on.)

Pictures

So I mentioned all the necklaces I recieved for Christmas, but did not post a pic....

My beautiful Lady of Guadalupe necklace from JJ

angel wings from my aunt!

These were in one of the Small boxes from Foster....the other box held the matching necklace!! BEAUTIFUL!!

And the pics of all the donations to Roses From Rosalynn!! Thank you all!!

Project Sweet Pea's Logo

A shelf FULL of donated items ready to go into the bags!!

Outfits for the little ones!

Memory boxes...note the ones on the left...see a theme:-)

Embroidered by my wonderful Aunt Georgia Peach

Boxes of matching sets donated by Back in His Arms Again!

A Very Blessed Christmas

Well, as blessed as it could be without Rosalynn. Last week, we went and spent time with Foster's side of the family. We had a lot of fun with the kids and there were lots of presents to go around. We decided to head up on the 22nd because I had to work on Christmas Eve and Christmas day and we wanted to get some real quality time with his family. Unfortunately, living 2 hours away, we get very little quality time with them.

The first evening we just hung out and socialized. Foster brought hommade venison chili that was killer! I was afraid I wouldn't like it, but it was delicious. He made it just a little too spicy, but a little bit of sour cream and saltine crackers helped cut the heat a little bit. We spent time with his sisters for a few hours and caught up on life in general.

 

The second day we took the kids to Chuck-E-Cheese. I forgot how much fun that place could be. I even had fun as  29 year old! Foster and I worked hard to get the kids extra tickets by playing numerous games of skiball and football.

Foster decided he had to go get a quick bite to eat and disappeared for an hour. I was starting to get worried, and then on accident, I move the pillow from the back seat and found three wrapped gifts. Foster had said he wasn't getting me anything for my birthday or Christmas because he had purchased my camera for me, but he must have changed his mind. He was trying to hide them from me, but didn't do a very good job.

That night we had dinner at a local restaurant and then headed to Foster's older sister's place to open gifts. I was thrilled when I received a gift card to Wal-Mart for items for Roses from Rosalynn, and a new pandora bead. My niece spent her own money and picked out beautiful wine glasses for Foster and I. I hope she doesn't think we are alcoholics or something. Of course I had to get some pictures of my nieces and nephew, and they seemed to LOVE all of their gifts!

This niece, we will call her "Guinn" LOVE penguins more than life itself!!! 

She wanted one thing: a nutcracker!

Niece, "Queen", LOVES Barbie just like her Aunt Erin, so I got her one!

I love how Guinn is reading about a sheltie while 2 shelties play behind her in this pic!!

After work on the 26th, Foster and I headed to my parents house. When I got there, Bug, Ky, JJ and Mr. JJ were already there. Papa JJ was there also. As soon as I walked in the door Papa JJ handed me my gift. It was a $5 scratch off ticket. I was really excited, because although I don't buy them for myself, I still love scratching them off. I started scratching, and we got excited cause it said I won $5. Well, the more I scratched, the more I won....$50 total!!!! Can you believe it? Foster won $10, so I figured that $60 is what I will use for the poker game I am playing in on New Year's Day. I am already on a lucky streak, hopefully it holds up.

My mother is a saint! I swear to you! She is a Catholic school teacher, gets paid way too little and is under appreciated. She loves her little second graders, and they love her too. Along with her own contributions to Roses from Rosalynn, she did something amazing this Christmas season. Most teachers are used to getting gift cards and mugs and ornaments from their children every year. This year she sent out a letter to all of her parents asking that instead of these gifts, that they donate items to my project. Their giving spirit was shown in the massive box of items. Receiving blankets, hand sanitizer, gift cards, teddy bears, checks, hand and feet imprint molds, the list goes on and on. My mother included some beautiful outfits with embroidered roses that she picked out from Macy's. She was so excited to show me all the goodies. I feel like Rosie's grandma got to Christmas shop for her and do grandmotherly things. I feel like this is something that has been both healing to my mother's heart, and to mine as well. I feel like every gift I received from friends, family, and strangers alike were gifts to my Rosie.

The next best gift I got this Christmas was my Lady of Guadelupe necklace and angel wing necklace from JJ and my aunt. I opened my gift from JJ and I could not believe my eyes! It was exactly what I had been looking for in DC, a beautiful OLofG necklace. I had seen one in Macy's and had offhandedly mentioned it to JJ. When I opened it, I figured Foster had something to do with it, but it turns out JJ is just very observant and had realized how much I had admired the necklace over a month ago. I love her so much, and I will now feel comforted wearing it every day the next time I get pregnant.

The angel wing necklace was given to me by my aunt. She could not make Christmas this year because she was so busy with her plays, so we missed her dearly. It just wasn't the same without her here this year.

So, although this Christmas is not what we had imagined it would be a year ago, it was so amazing. Rosie's presence was felt everywhere this week. It was definitely a blessed Christmas.

Christmas Just Isn't the Same Without My Rose

My Christmas Spirit is gone. I do hope it decides to return today or Sunday, but as of last night, it has left the building. I came into work exhausted with a major headache. I was spent already, and I had a whole 12 hour shift to get through.

Foster and I walked into a beautifully decorated church last evening. It was filled to the rims with people. Between the C and E Catholics (Christmas and Easter mass participants only) and everyone's families, there was not a seat left in the house. Foster and I were fortunate enough to stand by a family who squeezed together in order to make room for us. We did not ask them to, they just put kids on laps and invited us in. I was pleased to see we were situated on the outside perimeter of the church, and the front row, because I had a feeling this was going to be a difficult mass, and the less amount of people surrounding me, the better. I was doing pretty good for most of the mass. I cried a little during "Silent Night", but since the singer was unable to stay completely on key,  I would giggle from time to time, and it kept me from getting too into the music. But then communion came. I always get a little emotional during communion. This time the tears started flowing, and as soon as Foster started rubbing my back, I turned to him and tears were welling in his eyes, "This Christmas was supposed to be so different," I whispered to him.

"I know sweetheart."

I laid my head against his shoulder, and he rested his head on mine, and we cried through the rest of communion. I sobbed. The shoulder heaving, snotty nosed sobbing. The lady next to me handed me some tissues and leaned over, "It will get easier, it is always hard around the holidays," she said as I accepted this small act of kindness. She had no knowledge of our loss, but probably figured we had lost a close family member. As the mass came to an end, she turned to me an asked, "May I ask who you lost?"

"Our daughter," I said.

"Oh sweetheart," she said and she started to tear up, "I am so sorry."

The little boy down the pew kept looking at me and motioning for his mother to look at me, and it looked as if he was asking why I was crying. This poor little man probably thought I was crazy. He probably could not imagine someone being sad on Christmas Eve, because Santa would be coming this night, and everyone should be happy right? Well, not us baby loss moms. This is SUPPOSED to be a happy time, but for us this day, the birthday of our Lord Jesus, is a hard time for us no matter how far a long in our journey we are. If things had played out the way they were supposed to, we should be opening lots and lots of presents for our baby girl and watching her be more interested in the wrapping paper than the gifts that were concealing.

Instead, Foster and I are celebrating with my side of the family on the 26th and celebrated with his side this past week. There is a feeling of something missing, there probably will always be from here on out, but it is nice to spend time with family.

Tonight, however, I am done, emotionally spent, and just wish the 26th would come already. This is a point where I say "I want my mommy and daddy," yes folks, even a 29 year old woman wants nothing more than the warm embrace of her parents when she is hurting, that familiar place in my mom and dad's arms that makes everything better.

I did receive some good news today, a great little surprise for the 26th. My aunt and uncle from Georgia are heading in to celebrate. Aunt and Uncle Georgia Peach are some amazing people. Although they live so far away, they have always been such a huge support. Aunt Georgia Peach has been a spiritual support in the last 8 months, and then recently has helped with my ministry by agreeing to embroider the canvas bags for Roses from Rosalynn with the logo. She has a talent with the sewing machine and has produced some of the most beautiful quilts and hand made pieces I have ever seen. She didn't even hesitate when I asked this huge favor. I love her so much, and I actually get to hug and thank her in person. She is another one of my angels here on earth.

Now, Uncle Georgia Peach is hilarious! He can bring a smile and laughter to any situation. He possesses this wonderful gift, and God knows we will need it! I am soooooo thankful that they will be joining us this week!

I am praying for some peace in my heart and the hearts of my fellow baby loss parents. I am sure our little ones are looking down on us and smiling. Remember, they are celebrating Christmas in Heaven with Jesus.....what a great celebration that will be!!

My First Christmas In Heaven:

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can’t compare
with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart
But I am not so far away, we really aren’t apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones, you know I hold you dear.
And be glad I’m spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do
For I can’t count the blessing or love he has for each of you
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear
Remember, I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
( by Author Unknown)

Lookie Lookie!! New Donation Button!!

For those of you interested, because some of you have voiced interest in donating, there is a new Pay Pal donation button on the right side of my blog for Roses From Rosalynn. If you click the button, it will take you to a page to insert you info into and your donation will go into an account. Every cent, minus a small paypal fee will go towards the bags! I will be figuring out the cost of one full bag, and if interested, you can make a donation for the equivalent of one bag just from you! No donation is too small, even one dollar will help.

Thank you all so much for all of your love and support! I cannot begin to express how much it has meant to me! I could not have gotten through this holiday, the last 8 months, or done any of this without you! Thank you Thank you Thank you!!

Merry Christmas!

The Kindness of Others

The Christmas season brings out a lot of different emotions and mindsets in people. Some get greedy, and all they can focus on is what they want under the tree. Some feel guilty because they cannot afford to buy the kinds of presents they want for their family members. Others, including myself and other baby loss parents are just praying they get through the holidays without more heartbreak and pain. However, it is those that exhibit the true meaning of Christmas that warm my heart and give me hope for the new year.

I have officially received my first donations to Roses from Rosalynn. I have mentioned before the wonderful people I work with, and how much I enjoy my job because of them. I also mentioned how one of the nurses commended me on how I have turned my loss into something worthy of praise and respect. This strong minded, funny and beautiful woman donated a bag full of goodies to my project, my ministry. She handed me a bag with an array of different items. There were adorable onesies, hats, and socks. She included lotions and powders that I am sure it did not go unnoticed by her that the brand name of the bathing supplies is "Angel of Mine". I was ecstatic as I peered into the bag and thought of the smiles the parents would have when they too realized what they would be giving their first bath with. This generous woman is quiet compared to a lot of the women I work with, she has had her own struggles in life, and has become and amazingly strong woman because of them. This is just another example of how when she does do or say something, there is substance behind it, and this simple act of kindness warmed me to the core.

Today I was handed a envelope by another angel in scrubs. This particular nurse has been an inspiration to me since the day I joined the ER team. Her and one other young nurse were two of the most compassionate, loving, Christian-like women I have ever known. The second nurse joined mission work and has been traveling for the past 2 years, however, the first stayed behind and has brightened our sometimes dark, stressful workplace. Her smile and laugh is contagious and she never has an ill word to say about anyone, including some of the shady people that come through our doors. Her faith in God inspired me, and for 3 years I have enjoyed listening and talking to her about Christ and scripture, friendship and love.

When I read the outside of the envelope that she handed me, it said that I inspired HER! I uttered an ironic laugh in my head, because if she only knew..... (well, she knows now if she or someone at work figures out who I am talking about). In a time of year where people are scraping together money for gifts for their loved ones, and still trying to pay bills, her and her husband wanted to make a donation to my ministry. To say I was appreciative was an understatement. Had she handed me the envelope in a more private place, there would have been tears, but I have learned how to hide them and unfortunately all she got was the generic "Thank You", a hug, and a smile, because if she could see how I was truly feeling on the inside, I was bursting, and the thank you would probably have been a lot more emotional. However, she was close to tears herself, so maybe it was good I held back in front of everyone.

The Kindness of others is what has made me feel completely full filled this season. I could go to Christmas with my family this year, and if there isn't a single present under that tree for me, I will still be satisfied, because what these women have done. I am so happy that with these items and money, I will be able to contribute more to families who are suffering in their hearts and whose world has been flipped upside down this Christmas Season.

Thank You Thank You Thank You ladies, from the bottom of my heart!!!

(Oh, and Mom, don't think I have forgotten your donations, that is a whole separate post! I promise:-)

A Giveaway for Reaching 100 Followers!!!

So I have exceeded my 100 followers, and now I will be doing my giveaway! Thank you so much to all of you! I never thought in a million years I would have this many people who would be interested in following my journey. I would look at other bloggers and see 100+ followers, and just be thankful for my 10 or 20.  So here is the deal:

 1. In order to enter for a framed copy of my bridge picture, all you have to do is comment on here, facebook, or DS. Unfortunately, I will not do multiple entries like some giveaways do, because not everyone knows my last name to find me on facebook or DS.

2. You will have 1 week. I will remind everyone to vote throughout the week and the last day before the drawing.

3. I will let Foster pick the name out of the hat so that he feels like he is involved :-)

4. When the winner is drawn, then  I will announce it, and email the person so they can email me their address. The winner will have the choice of a wooden frame, or a black frame to match their decor.
Here is what the pic looks like in a wooden frame:

This is an 11x14, the clarity is AMAZING!!! I love it on my mantle! It is my hope that someone would love to add it to their home.

Please enter, because I want the opportunity to pay back all of you amazing people in some small way. Also, if anyone who does NOT win would be interested in a copy, email me, and I will be glad to email you the jpeg to print yourself!

Finally, chack out my new blog specifically for Roses from Rosalynn and Project Sweet Peas. I put my first post, and will update as the project progresses. I thank you all for your support thus far as I have been founding this project. I am super thrilled that I can do something in Rosalynn's name that will keep her memory alive and bring smiles on the faces of families in pain. Check out the new blog here!

The True Meaning Of Christmas

"Some people have a defining moment in their lives that they embrace and make the most of. I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you and all you are doing."

"At such an early age, you have found the true meaning of Christmas."

These are a few of the comments some of my amazing coworkers have said to me in the past few days. What stemmed these comments? I officially have gotten Roses from Rosalynn with Project Sweet Pea up and running. My family and friends are rallying together to support me and the other families that may be suffering a terrible loss this Christmas season.

My family and friends have asked me numerous times in the past few weeks what I want for Christmas. My reply, "I have everything I could ever want or need. I have a loving husband, supportive friends and family, a roof over my head, and food on my table. As long as everyone I know and love is happy and healthy, I am happy. The only thing I ask, is if you want to give me a present, donate to Roses From Rosalynn. The only thing I want is to be able to make another family happy."

My best friend and I went to the SS office to get our names officially changed in the eyes of the state. As we were making our way to the office, she was so excited to tell me something. She had been asking a lot of questions and seemed really interested in my project. Today I found out why. JJ wanted to make it a surprise, but needs some forms from me. She is a buyer for a major nationwide store that originated here. They offer a grant program for their employees for non-profit projects. It can range from $100-$10,000 grants. She wants to put Roses From Rosalynn in for a grant. She wanted to surprise me for Christmas, but needed more information. This melted my heart!! She also wants to take an active role in the project. She is going to be my "Treasure" per say. She is great with budgeting, and is great with spread sheets, so she is going to help me keep track of all of the item donations and monetary donations since I Have to hand in a quarterly report. This is going to be sooooooo helpful, I can't thank her enough. Even if the company turns us down this year, we can continue to apply each year. Pray that we receive some, because even a hundred dollars would be a blessing.

Then there is my mother. She is a school teacher, and decided instead of receiving mugs and gift cards from her students this year, she asked that they donate instead. The whole school, all the teachers, have rallied together to have the children write little books to put in the bags, and ask the patrons of the church to donate this holiday season.

If you remember my friend Amy from the 31 purse party, she has extended her help in my mission. She wants to throw a party that part of her profit will go towards my project. It may be a few months before I can arrange something, but I do plan on taking her up on the offer. I will let everyone know when and where the party will occur when we set a date.

It is amazing to me that when you are passionate about something, how family, friends, and complete strangers take an interest in it too! This holiday season has just started, and so far I have felt more fulfilled and more love than in the past 28 years of my life. Call it my "calling", call it my "passion", call it what you will, but giving to these families in a time of need is the closest I will get to giving to my daughter this Christmas, and that makes me feel comforted and happy. As some of you will be watching your children open gifts on Christmas morning, I will be fondly thinking of my daughter and thanking her for opening my eyes to the true meaning of Christmas.

Thank you all for your continued support. If you are interested in what Roses from Rosalynn is about, or for my fellow BLMs, if you want to learn more about how to start your own project through Project Sweet Peas, please, do not hesitate to message or email me, I will give you more info.

Roses From Rosalynn

I am following a blog entitled "The Lady's Blogger Society". Today they had a post about unrealistic goals to be the perfect blogger. One of them happens to be to post at least 3 times a week. WOW! I have failed miserably in the last few weeks at that one!! Trust me, it is not because I am short on things to write about, or that I have not had interesting things going on in my life; it is mostly because I have become so bogged down with homework, work, and projects, that I have not had the time recently. Also, because I have been sick, and unfortunately, when I am sick, I don't feel as creative. In fact, all I want to do is sleep! I slept 12 hours Friday night. I got up around half-time of the OSU game, and napped on and off on the couch until Foster came home from drinking beer @ the VFW with his buddies. I was SUPPOSED to work, but my inability to breath, mixed with the nastiness that was leaking out of every orifice of my body, caused me to call off. Would you feel comfortable as an ER patient coming in and seeing one of the staff members sick as a dog, plus the multiple trips to the bathroom every hour have been exhausting!!!

I decided that not only do I need to be the soldier from now on, but I need to be sick more often! Foster is a complete sweetheart when I am not feeling well. Once again, he had most of the laundry done and the kitchen clean two mornings in a row! I am putting him in for the "Housewife of the Year" award!

My Birthday is quickly approaching, along with our wedding anniversary, and Christmas. I have been dropping hints for months that I want a REAL camera. The type of camera I can add lenses to, take a class through OSU and capture beautiful pictures. Well, God love my hubby, he has purchased me one. I BELIEVE it is a Cannon. I have not received it yet, although, I think he is going to give it to me before my birthday because he knows how badly I want to capture the beautiful colors of the trees as they change colors this fall. He said that our wedding photographer (the one who took the AMAZING photo at the top of my blog page) would give me free lessons if Foster purchased a Cannon for me, so that is what makes me think it is a Cannon. Don't you worry, as soon as I get it, you will know, and I guarantee I will be speing hours the first day playing with it taking photos.
As if I don't have enough going on, I have decided to get in touch with "Project Sweet Pea". It is an organization that makes bags for NICU babies and their families and Baby Loss Families. Each bag will contain a combination the following determined by the situation:
~Blanket
~disposable camera
~hand and foot print molds
~journal and pen
~hat and booties
~outfit (a little more dressy for the Stillborn in case they want to bury them in it)
~small bottle of shampoo and lotion for the baby's first (and sometimes only) bath
~a pair of tiny scissors and a little bag for mom and dad to get a lock of hair
~a teddy bear for mom to cuddle with, and a small one for baby
~baby brush and comb
~tissues
~baby books for mom and dad to read to baby in the NICU
~gas card for mom and dad to get back and forth
~picture frames
~votive candle and holder
~holiday themed items to decorate isolettes in the NICU

I looked on their web page, and they do not have a chapter of Project Sweet Pea in Ohio as of yet, so I will be starting it up. It will be entitled "Roses from Rosalynn".

Roses have a very special meaning to me. They give me hope. I was given a rose bush by Foster's side of the family on the day of her funeral. Every time it blooms it puts a smile on my face and is almost like a promise for the future. I want to pass that same hope onto other families. I want them to know that no matter how grim the situation is, there is still hope, and never to give it up.

If anyone knows where I can get any of these items in bulk, let me know. I may be pleasantly surprised by some back pay from the Army, and I would like to invest it into my little project. I want to get some bags embroidered or screen printed with "Roses from Rosalynn" and a pretty pink Rose on them. As I get the project going, I will create a web page with all the info, and ways that people can get involved if they want. I am really excited. I have been chomping at the bit to get something going, and I feel like I have control over this project and can get it going pretty quickly! I am going to START the project in Central Ohio NICUs, however, would like to eventually expand it through all of Ohio.

Don't worry, I am still going to be part of BIHAA, but things seem to be moving too slow for me right now, and I need something extra since my momentum is still through the roof, and I don't like the feeling of sitting around WAITING for things to happen, so I make them happen myself.