My Family!!

My Family!!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Post Everyone Has Been Praying For!!

***Warning to BLMs...pregnancy triggers****

If you have learned anything about me over the past eleven months, is that I am not one to hold anything back. It is almost impossible for me to keep a secret, just ask my family. I have to wait until the last minute to buy Christmas presents, or else I tell everyone what I got them before Christmas morning rolled around. When I got the positive pregnancy test on Sunday, Foster and I were convinced we were going to keep this a secret until at least Rosie's birthday on April 20th. I wasn't going to tell my family, my friends, and I was definitely NOT posting on facebook or my blog. However, after reflecting on the positives and negatives of telling this soon, I realized the positives outweighed the negatives.

If I told everyone I was pregnant now, there would be so much hope in people's hearts. Of course there would be the fear, but I am praying HOPE would beat out. Fear is from the devil, HOPE is from God (Remember this post?). Also, if I told everyone now, I would have an astounding amount of prayers all over the country, even the world praying for this little pumpkin. After all, doesn't the bible say "Where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in their midst." (Matthew 18:20).  The way I figure, although we are not all in the same building, we are all praying for the same cause, a happy healthy pregnancy and a crying baby in nine months. IF God forbid anything happens to this baby, I will have a support group. My friends and family will already know about it, and help me through another tough time. Trust me, I am not trying to be negative, however, I am VERY aware of the odds this early in a pregnancy.

The negatives were obviously losing the baby early on in the pregnancy, and also possibly losing followers of my blog. I have debated starting another blog for my rainbow baby, however, I purposefully named my blog "Journey of Life and Love" because I knew I did not want it to be just a blog about Rosie. Obviously that is the reason I started online blogging, but this space is about my life. Plus I have felt Rosalynn present more in the past week than I have in a few months. She is all around me and Foster, and has been showing us signs left and right (I will post about these signs tomorrow!).

That being said, please realize this is not a cure for my grief. Getting pregnant again will NOT stop me from loving Rosalynn, it will not make me forget about her, and it will not stop me from pursuing the things I am doing in her name. If anything, these past few days have made me miss her even more. All I think about is how she would be a great big sister, and she should be here with us going through this with us. I have been an emotional basket case. Remember the definition of a "Rainbow Baby" The understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened, the family is not still dealing with the aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover, but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy, and hope."

So how far along are we.....EARLY. Tomorrow I will be 4 weeks. That's right, I am going against what most would do. Most women would be afraid of announcing this early. However, remember, I did not lose one in the first trimester, I lost Rosie in the THIRD!! So, my new motto is "No matter what happens tomorrow, I am pregnant today, and I am going to celebrate that, and thank God every morning I wake up still pregnant." I am going to let this little pumpkin get all the love he/she deserves regardless of the amount of time he/she is in my womb.

Thank you all for you continued prayers and support. First u/s scheduled for March 31!!

21 comments:

My life said...

I'm so happy for you!!! Amazing news, and I will be praying for your little bundle.

Amanda said...

Congratulations!

JenJen said...

Yay! Congrats!

I announced my rainbow baby pregnancy on Lily's blog the very night that I got a positive hpt! The way I looked at it was that the babyloss community had shown me so much love and had given me so many prayers that I would need them in the event that I did lose the pregnancy. Thank God that things worked out and we have our beautiful Cooper!

I hope you don't lose any followers! We should hold each other up in times of grief and celebrate with each other in times of great joy! Huge ((hugs))!!!!

Julie said...

congratulations! lots of prayers going up for you and your rainbow.

annoyed army wife said...

I am so happy to hear this news. Congrats! Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers!

chambanachik said...

So glad for you. Very, very awesome. :)

Lou said...

WOW what a blessing, congrats. you and rosie will be in my prayers!

Tiffany said...

congrats!

Erin said...

Congratulations!! So incredibly happy for you!

Committed said...

Congratulations, Beautiful! You will be in my heart and my prayers for the 36 weeks to come, and beyong! Lots of love!!!

Doc's Girl (Noel) said...

I know I rarely comment (but I always read - i'm just a terrible commenter), and I also know it's EARLY, but I really do hope that you a flawless pregnancy.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, you deserve this ♥

McDancer said...

Congratulations! I am so very happy for you and will keep you in my prayers for a healthy happy pregnancy!

Amber said...

Congratulations, I felt the same way about announcing my pregnancy early. Before I had TC I had an early loss but I knew with TC I really wanted all the prayers and support and I'm so thankful I did.

Amber said...

Hooray!!! Congrats!!! We faced the same battle (whether to keep it a secret) every time we were chosen when waiting to adopt. And every time we came to the same conclusion you did. What will happen will happen, you may as well invite those you love along for the ride.

I wish you a happy and HEALTHY pregnancy!

Lilly's Mom (Desiree) said...

Praying praying praying!!! :) So happy for you and your husband.

Lucid Anne said...

I am beside myself with joy! :D <3

Mattie said...

Many, Many hugs and prayers!!! He wait in hope with you!

Sarita Boyette said...

What a blessing! I'm so happy for you! xoxo

Rhiannon said...

Congratulations, mama! Praying for you and your little pumpkin!!

Maggie said...

Soooo happy for you! Congrats! I'll be thinking of you and your rainbow every step of the way!

Holly said...

I felt the same as you. I went ahead and announced it so people would be praying for us and I'm glad that I did. I wanted my baby's life to be known!

 

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