Honored Beyond Words

Thank you all so much for all of your prayers for my family and I while we mourn my AMAZING grandfather. The comments and love has meant so much to me, and I am blessed to have so many people, both in real life and online, in my life.

I am excited to announce that the article featuring me in Military Spouse Magazine will be in their APRIL addition! I have been receiving emails from the journalist for the past few weeks, and clarifying things for the final article. I am THRILLED that it will be in April. What a wonderful way to honor Rosalynn in the month of her 1 year birthday! I will be sure to post a link to the article (if it is posted online) or scan a copy of the article on here for you all to see in April.

Also, I have been asked by a fellow blogger to help in a little endeavor of hers. you see, she left this past weekend for Basic Combat Training. She is heading to Fort Jackson, where I went. She wanted me to assist in posting on her blog while she is gone. Her goal is to send letters to Jessica from the Misadventures of an Army Wife to post, and has asked me to expand on her experience and compare the differences between 2 years ago and now. I am so excited about this! I kept a journal while I was in BCT, and this will be a great online journal for Abbey to look back on years from now, and I am honored to help her. Make sure to check out her blog Trading Diamonds for Dog Tags and help encourage her in her journey. You may learn a little more about the Army, learn the "lingo" with all the acronyms, and maybe even hear a story of two you never knew about me:-)

Once again, I do apologize to all of my friends and loyal followers. I am sure you understand that my life has been a little hectic lately. I will be heading up this weekend to spend time with my family for my grandpa's funeral so I may be MIA for a bit. Plus, I have a TON of school work to finish.  I CANNOT WAIT until March when I graduate and life gets a little simpler! Speaking of graduation, I should probably get back to studying, so I don't fail my two midterms tomorrow!

When I Grow Up! Kitchens, Graduating, and Much More!

First I want to say thanks for all of my stalkers who commented and let their presence known on my delurking post! It was great to meet all of you!!

This has probably been the longest I have gone without posting a blog. I am so sorry to those of you who check on a daily basis:-) I guess it is because I have been so busy with things, that I barely have enough time to breath, much less sit down and write. I figured, since I noticed I have gotten a few new followers, that I would take this entry as an opportunity to fill them in on me and my life, along with giving all of you a quick update on the going ons in my household.

First, an introduction. thank you if you are a new follower. I originally started this blog as a way of relieving some of my grief after the loss of my precious daughter Rosalynn. She was a beautiful 5lb 12oz baby girl who grew angel wings on April 20th 2010. We were 34weeks4days into our pregnancy when we were told her heart had stopped. Foster, my dear husband, and I have been going through this awful journey with the help and support of my loving friends and family. I cannot express to you how much this little online space has helped me. The outpouring of support and understanding from friends and strangers alike has been so healing. I have come across some of the strongest women I have ever met through my support group and this blog. Women who are going through similar journeys as I am.

I have also been inspired to make a few changes in the world because of my daughter. I am an Emergency Room Tech, a student, and a Medic in The National Guard. I am currently waiting for the stillbirth leave policy to be changed this July through my work to more reflect that of a maternity leave, and I am also in the process of trying to find the best way of changing the National Guard Policy for stillbirth mothers. I have gotten involved with a non-profit group called "Back In His Arms Again" which assists stillbirth parents with the care of their angel baby and the funeral arrangements, also assisting in the costs that go with it.

My biggest accomplishment thus far, is the start of my own little project, in accordance with the non-profit group "Project Sweet Peas". I am the local project leader here in Ohio, and it is entitled "Roses from Rosalynn". PSP and RFR are dedicated to bringing comfort and memories to parents who have children in the NICU and who have suffered a stillbirth. I am currently focusing my attention on the stillbirth parents. I have bags that will be filled with helpful items that will assist these parents in creating as many memories as possible of their little angel. these bags will have molds for hand and foot impressions, journals for writing thoughts and memories in, disposable cameras, an outfit fit for a burial, blanket, footies, hats, a small bear for baby and a big bear for mom to ease that "empty arm syndrome", and a book "Mommy Please Don't Cry, There are No Tears in Heaven." I am waiting for my big bears and a few more of the books, and I will be making my first 10bag donation very soon. I have friends who have extended their services for blanket making and others who have offered to get donations. I am thrilled at the outpouring of generosity so many have shown. I have added donation buttons to all of my pages that goes directly into a pay-pal account and aids in the expenses of these bags.

Now for an update!

I am getting closer and closer to graduation! I am thrilled! Foster and I have talked about what I should do after March. I still am not sure what I want to do when I grow up. I want to go back to nursing school EVENTUALLY. However, I am burnt out from school. I am soooooo needing a break from this hectic life of school, work, studying, school, work, studying. I feel like it hinders my abilities to pursue that things I love, primarily writing and photography. I have recently taken up photography and am LOVING it, and I have not had the slightest chance to get any further in ANY of my books for the past 6 months because I have been so busy. So, I am giving myself 18 months. 18 months after I graduate to continue working my job and purse my passions. I am going to focus on getting at least one of my books completely written, or at least 80% before trying to get a publisher. I am also going to see how far I can take this photography business. I have an eye, I know that much, but I want to perfect my photo shopping skills, and learn the tricks to making that PERFECT picture! I have tons of friends who have been generous in their time, allowing me to use them as my test subjects on different equipment I have been obtaining, filters, new settings, and new ideas. I LOVE them all for it, and in exchange, they get a free disk with their photos on them.

Foster is incredibly supportive, and thinks that I can achieve my dreams! Have I told you lately how much I love this man? He just wants me to be happy in what I do for the rest of my life, and although nursing would secure an income, I am not so sure how happy it would make me.

Last but not least (sorry for the long post, and thanks to those of you who are still reading!) we have a HUGE project starting in March. Last year, before finding out we were pregnant, Foster and I were getting quotes on remodeling our kitchen. We were going to gut it, however, the news that we were expecting changed those plans. Instead of dropping $15-20,000 on a new kitchen, we needed to put our money towards a wedding that was bumped up 9 months, new carpet and windows in the house since the baby's room needed them BAD, and the expenses of baby furniture and items. Well, now we are going back to the kitchen! We started looking around at ideas, and we will have a couple contractors coming out shortly to show us designs and prices. We figured that if we do get pregnant again (Sorry for those of you who are following my cycles, this month is a bust!) there will be no need to worry about the expenses since we have everything we need for a baby. So, let "Operation Gut Kitchen" commence! We are putting in new floors, new lighting, cabinets, counters, buying new appliances, everything. We are installing hardwood floors through the entry, kitchen, and family room, and even finishing the carpeting upstairs while we are at it. Why not? We are already going to be shelling out a butload of money, what is another $1-2,000 for carpeting right? I can't wait! This will all start in March after I graduate, because Foster does not trust starngers in our home while we are both gone. I will keep you all updated, and I have a feeling it will cause a little strain between Foster and I, because he gets REALLY moody when he spends a lot of money, and there are always hidden costs that pop up with a remodle, like the fact that we will probably have to eat out for a couple of weeks because we will have no kitchen! But I will try my best to keep him relaxed.

Whew! That was alot! Thanks if you held out to the end!

My New Year's Resolution...No, My New Year's Hope!

People have been posting about their resolutions. I don't like the idea of a resolution, because then I have an immense amount of guilt if I don't stick with it. Instead, I have hopes for the year 2011.

As I stood there in a sea of my family and friends, kissing and hugging my amazing husband as the ball dropped signaling the start of the new year, I felt what the true meaning of the new year was. Tears rolled down my eyes as I looked into Foster's and whispered in his ear, "It is over," As we counted down, 3, 2, 1.... I realized we were saying goodbye to the hardest year of our lives, and we were looking straight into a fresh, new time; a new year that, as we found out the hard way, SOOOOOO much can happen! I am still debating whether I am happy or sad about this bitter-sweet goodbye. 2010 was filled with so much joy, and so much sorrow. I was able to give birth to the most beautiful little girl, and although I had to say goodbye the moment I said hello, I felt a love so pure and an overwhelming pride I never knew existed; I became a mother. So as we rang in this new year, I reflected on new years past.

There have been three New Years Eves that have stuck out in my mind prior to this year. NYE 2007 I hugged Foster and cried as I realized that in 4 days he would be catching a plane overseas and spending a whole year away from me. I hugged him as if I would never let him go, and he let me know that night that he would come home and make me his wife.

One year later, NYE 2008, we stood in that same room kissing and hugging because he had just returned home 2 weeks before. He had stepped off that bus, and my hope for our future together was becoming reality. He had not yet proposed, but I knew that it was around the corner.

NYE 2009, although I had to work, I had my heart and my belly filled with hope of the new life Foster and I had created. We had exchanged vows as man and wife 2 weeks prior to NY, and we were awaiting our first born to join our family. Standing amongst my coworkers, a smile filled my face for I had yet to know what 2010 held for me.

This year has changed me. It has caused me to be cynical, anxious, and sometimes depressed. If you know me in real life, you know that is not my nature. You know I was always the eternal optimist. The one person that no matter how bad it was, I could find a sliver of good. In fact, it drove my drill sergeants NUTS!! I would always have a smile on my face and would try my hardest to put one on yours. However, it has also changed me for the better. I have come to know love so deep that even death cannot sever it. I have learned generosity and the kindness of people knows no bounds. My eyes have been open to the sanctity of life, the miracle that every pregnancy, every life is. And although on Dec. 31, 2009 I was terrified of the prospect of being a new mother, Dec. 31, 2010 I am so proud to call Rosalynn my daughter and hold hope that one day I will hold a living, breathing child in my arms.

My hopes for 2011:

~ Graduate in March and finally fulfill a 12 year long journey.
~ Do as much good in my daughter's name as I can
~ Hone my photography skills and be a part of others' memories.
~ Finish my first book. (or at least get it 80% done before seeking out publishers)
~ Have a little brother or sister for Rosie.

Now, as a good friend of mine pointed out in her blog, this last one is not a guarantee. I know that I am not owed another child just because I lost one. I know that God may have other plans for me, and I plan on fulfilling HIS plan, not mine. However, with prayers and lots of "practice" ;-) Foster and I will pursue this last Hope.

I hope this year holds new beginning for all of you, and you don't wait to fulfill your dreams. God Bless you all!

My FIRST Published Piece!!!!!

Here it is....FINALLY!! My very first "published" piece!! It is the article I wrote for the Ohio National Guard Association. I was afraid they were going to cut it down, let's just say I would be an awful journalist if I was only fiven 500 words!! But they didn't and I am sooooo excited to share the entire article with you! So without further adieu: 


"A Guard Wife's View"


Erin Foster · As my husband David and I stepped off of the
plane in Austin, Texas, I was filled with anticipation and excitement
for another entertaining conference hosted by the
National Guard Association of the United States (NGAUS).
With a little hesitation and no knowledge of what to expect,
I had accompanied David to his first conference, last year
in Nashville. This year was different; I was feeling like a
seasoned vet.

On our way to Austin we met a wide-eyed woman in the
airport wearing an Air Force T-shirt. After introductions, I
was pleased to find out that Rae was the wife of Ohio Air National
Guard Capt. Bo Cunningham. I was ecstatic, because
last year I had the pleasure of spending time with Tessie
Springer, the wife of Capt. J. R. Springer, and I was hoping
to meet another Ohio wife to enjoy my time with this year.
I was eager to introduce Rae to all of the spousal activities
available at the conference.

We arrived in Austin to real Texan hospitality. There
were tables with refreshments offered while we boarded
the buses that would take us to our respective hotels. Each
state was assigned to a different hotel in downtown Austin,
and we were provided bus transportation to and from the
Conference center, the different activities, and the hotels.
When David and I checked into the Radisson, our room
was not ready. However, to our delight the hospitality suites
were already open. Each state had a hospitality suite supplied
with snacks and beverages to entertain its members
and visitors from other states during downtime throughout
the weekend. We made our way to the suite where col
Ashenhurst, Mr. and Mrs. Wilson, and a few other members
of Ohio’s National Guard Association (ONGA) already were
taking advantage of all of the comforts the hospitality room
had to offer. We joined them for some drinks and conversation
until our room was cleaned and ready. We were eager
to prepare ourselves for the night’s festivities.

The first night the company grade officers and field grade
officers went their separate ways. The Company Grade
Mixer was hosted at Deutsches Haus, which had a great indoor/
outdoor environment for socializing. Thanks to donations
by DRASH, we were provided with an open bar of
local wines and beers, including Shiner Bock. We enjoyed
a buffet of brats and brisket, potato salad and coleslaw was

served while a live band performed familiar country songs.
It was our first opportunity to meet and greet couples from
all over the country. 

During this event the tradition of trading the state pins
became noticeable. Each state designs and brings their
own pins and gives each member and their spouse a certain
number to trade with other state members. It is the
perfect opportunity for people to mingle and strike up conversations.
This year Ohio was represented with the Marble
Head Lighthouse complete with its own red blinking
light. The goal was to obtain a pin from each of the fiftyfour
states and territories. Some of the wives made it a little
friendly competition, and came up with some creative
means for filling up their lanyards. I was able to obtain
forty-six states this year.
 
Although Thursday night was full of activities and socializing,
Friday was the official kickoff of the conference. All
of the exhibits were open for viewing and included everything
from previews of wearable gear to the newest military
technology. While the officers inquired about new gear
for their troops, their spouses took interest in some of the
interactive booths and the free goodies that were up for
grabs. We were able to fire computerized weapons, tour
new combat vehicles and tents, and even create personalized
dog tags. Pens, coffee mugs, T-shirts, kozies, and notepads
were just a few of the goodies I grabbed to add extra
pounds to my suitcase. After taking our first quick tour of
the exhibits, Rae and I headed up to the opening ceremonies.
Last year, I was unaware that spouses were allowed
to attend this portion of the conference, and fully intended
to be present this year.
 
A local high school’s JROTC performed an impressive
drill team routine to kick off the ceremony. A mariachi band
and country music musicians played songs leading up to
the introduction of the governor of Texas, Rick Perry. He
gave an incredible speech that welcomed everyone to the
great state of Texas, explained all of the future plans for
the Texas National Guard, and jokingly asked the soldiers
present to stay behind and help secure the border.
Immediately following the governor’s speech came the
State Roll Call. Each year, a representative of each state has
sixty seconds to introduce their state. Each one is different.
Some states described their accomplishments in the military,
some rattled off facts in creative ways while throwing
treats into the audience. I made a note that next year
I am going to borrow my husband’s IOTV and ACH for the

State Roll Call. Puerto Rico threw bags of coffee, Louisiana
threw Mardi Gras beads, Texas threw cowboy hats. I was
hit in the head twice by candy corn that Nebraska tossed,
dodged numerous snacks and goodies, and was relieved
when the “Granite State,” New Hampshire, decided not to
throw real granite. Did you know California has more cows
than Texas, and makes more cheese than Wisconsin? Did
you know that Georgia has the biggest party college in the
nation? A few interesting characters accompanied the roll
call of select states. Elvis was in the building, and Maryland
had dancing crabs. Alabama promised that if you visited
their beaches, thanks to BP, you would lie down and stick
to them. All in all, it was very entertaining.

The day was followed by an evening of bull riding, barrel
racing and rodeo clowns. For supper, everyone enjoyed
brisket, rotisserie chicken, and peach cobbler served out of
the back of Conestoga wagons. As if a rodeo wasn’t enough
excitement for the evening, like royalty, we were treated to
a private concert by country music singer Rick Trevino. We
headed back shortly after the concert, and although some
couples decided to check out the night life of Austin, we
headed back to the hotel because David had an early morning
of meetings, and I had a big day of shopping ahead of me.

Saturday morning was the big spouses outing. While
our husbands and wives were busy in meetings, we were
given the option of shopping at the Riverfront in San Antonio,
antique shopping in Austin, or outlet mall shopping
in San Marcos. To our surprise, we were each handed a
twenty-dollar gift card to use on our shopping excursion.
Even though the temperatures were reaching 106 degrees,
Rae and I enjoyed our outlet mall shopping experience.
Some of the spouses enjoyed their free afternoon by lying
out at the hotel pools and relaxing. I was impressed by the
way the spouses were included and entertained through
the long hours our soldiers and airmen were in meetings.

Saturday night was the much-anticipated Hospitality
Night. As I mentioned previously, each state has a suite
that is designated to their members for relaxing and refreshments
during downtime. However, one night out of
the weekend, the rooms were transformed into a room full
of pride for the state. It was their opportunity to brag about
the local foods, display fun decorations representing college
and professional teams, and to entertain visitors from
other states. New York had some of their upstate wines and,
of course, Buffalo wings. Florida had crab dips and a “special
recipe” clam chowder. The SEC football states put their
differences aside and banned together to throw the partyof all hospitality parties at Maggie Mae’s, a local bar. It was a two-story bar opened exclusively to the NGAUS participants.
Music, drinks, dancing and more food was available.
I think I gained fifteen pounds from all of the succulent
brisket I ate.

As the conference was coming to a close, the spouses
were offered a parting gift. They had about fifteen gifts
from which to choose, including longhorn shaped dinner
bells, pewter or sterling silver cuff bracelets, coffee mugs,
and for the culinary lovers present, a book filled with Texas
recipes. Each wife walked away with a souvenir to fit their
own taste and style. Rae chose a beautiful sterling silver
bracelet, and I chose the boot shaped dinner bell that is a
nice addition to my western themed bedroom.

On the last night, Texas sent us out in style. The state’s
dinner is always the last event, and this one was a great
culmination to the 2010 NGAUS Conference. Filet mignon,
stuffed chicken, sweet potatoes and fresh salad were served,
together with bottles of red and white wine. After an enjoyable
meal with the other Ohio junior officers, we were
invited to get a group picture with the Ohio TAG, MG Wayt.
It was the perfect conclusion to the perfect weekend.

I strongly encourage all officers and their spouses to join
us for the 2011 NGAUS Conference in Milwaukee! These
conferences have great professional opportunities for any
officer, and wonderful occasions for spouses to
meet and make lasting friendships. As Rae perfectly articulated,
“I felt not only included, but welcomed into this part
of Bo’s life which is so important to him.” David and I fully
intend to participate. So, you first-timers feel free to hunt
down the bubbly, talkative, red head, and I will be glad to
show you the ropes!

Cameras, Articles, and Parties Oh My!!

As I mentioned in my last post, ALOT has been going on!!! I am glad to say I officially have my new camera, a Cannon EOS 50D. It is amazing, and I am getting a lesson this evening from our wedding photographer!! I have already captured some amazing pictures. this one was taken while driving 65 miles per hour, my regular camera would have produced a blur!

This one is a rare picture of Reagan. She looks so thoughtful, and I love the way the sun is hitting her!

Add caption

Rowdy is a HAM for the camera. He gets sooooooo excited every time I take it out. He is always ready for his closeup!

In other news, I contacted Military Spouse Magazine to see if they would be interested in the article that will be in the National Guard Magazine. One of the writers contacted me, we started talking, and instead she wants to do a feature on me in the March issue. It is a spouse profile focusing on family. When she read about my loss, she said it would be perfect. I don't know if I completely agree that it is perfect for the "family" issue, but I am honored that she wants to interview me, and will be a great opportunity to raise awareness of pregnancy and infant loss, and plug "Roses from Rosalynn and Project Sweet Pea". As far as my article, I guess I need to submit it to the main editor.

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to hang out with an old friend and fellow military wife. I had not seen her in 12 years since we graduated from high school. I am ashamed to say that, because she is such an amazing, inspirational, and talented woman. We reconnected through facebook and through our blogs. She writes a fun blog entitled "Scrapping the Story and Feeding the Soul" (click on it and pay her a visit).   It is a creativity filled blog about food, scrap booking, and raising her two beautiful children all while supporting her Air Force husband. I am sad we have lost so much time, but am glad we are reconnecting. Foster was reffing a rugby game near her husband's base, and she just happened to have a 31 purse party scheduled for that afternoon, perfect timing!  I jumped at the chance to hang out with her, and meet more military wives. I had never heard of 31 handbags. The premise of this organization is based off of Proverbs 31:17-18 "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night." The company was started by a working mom who wanted to help provide for her family but not spend time away from them. Being a stay at home mom, Amy wanted to be able to help provide a little extra income for her family. She loves 31 Gifts because it is faith based, and Amy and her family are very strong in their faith.

When I got to her house, my nose was filled with the aromas of fresh baked goods and pumpkin lattes.

I watched and played with all of the goodies as she set them up on her mantel and table. Thirty-one has some beautiful baskets and liners, fun handbags, and even warm winter accesories like scarves and mittens. Of course I have a few pictures, but you can check out the whole catalog on Amy's Thirty-one Gifts page here or here.  She has been kind enough to offer a proceeds of her profit from a party to go towards my Roses from Rosalyn and Projects Sweet Peas. I will definitely take her up on the offer as soon as school slows down a bit, so I will be sure to let you all know when I will be hosting a party and hopefully makeing some amazing dishes like Amy did for her last party.

A Year Flys By and General Update

I apologize if I have not been around as much lately. I am used to posting three to five posts a week, and I have been slacking.

I believe some of it may be due to the fact that my schedule has become so hectic. We had trips and weddings, and now we are leaving for yet another trip. Foster will be going white water rafting with the boys in WV while I head to Chicago for a shopping trip with JJ and Bug.
Also, school started back up today. I am taking 15 credit hours, and have 2 more quarters to graduate! Thank God, I see a light! Foster is working towards his masters, and has been swamped with homework lately.

In other words, life is happening.

Yes, we are still trying to conceive, and as we are fast approaching all of the milestones from Rosie (the day I found out I was pregnant, the day that we told my family, etc) my want to be a parent becomes stronger and stronger. I know this is bad for when you want to conceive. The more you want it, it seems the less it happens. It is always those people on birth control (like myself a year ago) or those couples who have been trying for years and finally just "give up" that find themselves pregnant. I am hoping that school and work will keep me so busy that my mind is distracted from the TTC (trying to conceive) journey.

It is amazing how fast a year passes by. One year ago today I was pregnant but not yet aware of it. It was also a year ago that we found out that Mama JJ had pancreatic cancer. Now both Rosie and Mama JJ are gone, and we are all left picking up the pieces and trying to heal.

Here is hoping that this next year brings good and happy news. That this year is a year of blessings and prosperity for my family. We need a good year.

A quick update, Kam and I are in the process of planning a silent auction to help raise money for Back in His Arms Again. If any of you know anyone who would be willing to donate to the auction, please let me know. When it gets closer and we have more info, I will inform all of you when it is, so you can attend if you want! All of the proceeds will go to the ministry for helping families like Foster and I who have lost a baby and educating the hospital staffs in the area on how to handle the situation with compassion and understanding. Some of the money will go to families, and some of it will go to changing our website and pamphlets to be more ecumenical as opposed to focused on Catholicism.

I finished my first draft of the article that will be posted in the National Guard Magazine. I think I may also submit the article to Military Spouse Magazine also. My friend is in the process of editing my first draft, but personally I think it is an entertaining article.

I have revised and rewritten 4 chapters of my first book, while brainstorming my second. I am looking into publishing companies to send my first manuscript to when it is finished, or at least 80% finished, and I have been given some tips from a fellow Baby Loss Mom whose book will be on shelves by December. Keep your fingers crossed.

I talked to my First Sergeant, my Brigade Commander, and a few others in my chain of command about the regulation change in the National Guard regarding pregnancy. We are all moving forward and I have their support. It is always a plus to have a female Colonel backing you up.

The policy for my work will be under review for next years changes. I missed this years deadline, July, but they are hoping it will go into effect next July. I have written letters to our congressmen an women to back me up, and add support to my case when it goes back up to the board next year. However, I will not be sending it out to the offices until after the elections in November, because I would hate to have to send them all back out again because new members are elected and current members are out.

Erin Takes on Washington and the Literary World

Well, the ugly face of third shift living has reared its ugly head. I went to bed with Foster around ten p.m. after sleeping from 10am to 230pm. I woke up at 2am unable to sleep anymore, so I figured I would give you an update.

A few very exciting things are going on, hence why I have not been around quite a much. I have been so busy writing "other things", that unfortunately my blog has taken a slight back seat.
First, I have mentioned that I am getting a policy changed where I work, and I got a phone call that it had made it up through numerous boards, and they all agree that there needs to be a change. They want me to write a letter explaining why I feel the way I do about the issue, my experience, and what I think should be changed about the policy. I mentioned that I was going to be pursing the change in the National Guard policy too, and they said to add this information in my letter. They also suggested that although it is not necessary, that it would benefit me to have the backing of one of my state representatives. So I have started preparing my first letter to a politician. This is a little scary for me, because I am very aware from being in the military, that there is a certain standard to letters of this nature. SO I called in reinforcements. I have mentioned my friend "Mrs. Roma" in previous entries. He father is a long time politician in our home town, and she has had a recent experience with writing a letter to her congressman, so she knows the ropes. She has agreed to review my letter after I write it, give me some pointers, give it to her father to look over, and then I will send it in to the recommended representatives who will be most willing to support my mission. This takes a huge weight off of my shoulders, and appreciate her offer in the midst of her extremely hectic life.

One other project I have written for, is a beautiful website founded by a fellow baby loss mommy. It is facesofloss.blogspot.com. I combined the four main blogs that make up Rosie's story, and submitted it to her project. It looks AMAZING, and for those of you who do not know the entire story, you can find it here.

Third, I have been inspired to jump head first back into writing my book. I have received so many wonderful comments from followers, friends and family that I have a gift. I guess I never really thought there was anything spectacular about my writing skills, because I just write what I know, how I feel, and what I have experienced. However, one friend mentioned that one of the greatest books of all time was written from true life experience, To Kill A Mockingbird. So, why not? It would honestly be a sin to waste a gift that God has given me. I am nervous, and honestly terrified to put my work out there to be critiqued by professionals, so occasionally I may post an excerpt on here for all of you to give me feedback. It is completely different than writing on this blog. This has served as an outlet, a form of therapy for me since the loss of my daughter. All of you read it, but I do not feel as if it is something to be scrutinized because it is just my thoughts and memories down on paper. However, I will never succeed in truly reaching millions of people unless I go out on a limb and try. So her it goes, I might as well. I have 2 months until school starts back up, so I am going to utilize the time while I have it. I am going to have to try my hardest to set aside at least an hour a day to dedicate strictly to the book, so unfortunately, my blog may take a hit because of this.

Fourth, I am proud to say I will officially be published for the very first time sometime after August. Foster and I are taking a trip to Austin in August for a National Guard Conference that we attended last year in Nashville. This conference is near and dear to our heart for a few reasons. Last year Foster and i got engaged during this conference, conceived Rosie around this time, and Mr. and Mrs. Prince conceived Baby Prince here. So you can understand why I am excited to go. I attend as a spouse, not as a soldier, Foster is the soldier at this event. However, I have a more important role this year. Instead of just looking good on Foster's are at the social event, he has volunteered me, and the board agreed to allow me to write up about the conference through the eyes of the spouse. I am so honored that Foster would consider this, because it just shows how supportive he is of one of my dreams, and that the organization agreed. It is only going to be an article in the National Guard publication, but I am thrilled that I will officially get to see my writing put into print other than my computer screen. Who knows, maybe this will open more doors and motivate me even more.

There are so many amazing things going on and it is bitter sweet. None of this would come to fruition if not for the death of my Rosie, however, there is nothing more I want than her to be here to witness all of this. The one comfort I have is that she is watching me from heaven, rooting me on, and when I get up there and see her, I hope I have made her proud and given meaning to her death.