Military Spouse Magazine Article! And First Gender Predictor Post!

I forgot to tell all of you that the article "A spouse like you" was published in this month's (April's) Military Spouse Magazine. Unfortunately, I have not seen the finished product yet, because I don't have a PX or Commissary around me, but the journalist had said she would send me a copy, so hopefully she follows through! For you milspouses out there, has anyone read it? I would love to hear how it came out! I will post the article for the rest of you as soon as I get it.

On a frustrating note, I dropped my photography class. This all day hangover feeling has made it hard to go to work, much less go to class and then take 50-100 photos for each project each week. I felt bad also because every one of my appointments will be on a Thursday, and I would be missing class more than I want. I already had to reschedule my April 21st for the 28th because I was supposed to have a midterm that day. I guess I could ask to have my original appointment back, but I think I will keep the 28th because we should be able to hear the baby on doppler since I will be 11 weeks by then! I would hate to go in too early and freak out if they couldn't find a HB. Of course, I have no reason to think this baby isn't growing. Between all the symptoms, and my belly popping out ALREADY! I have a feeling we have a strong, healthy one on our hands!

So, I want to start a "Will it be a girl or a boy" sting of posts. I will be doing all of the old wives tales between now and the u/s when we find out. I am not sure how early we will know, because I will be getting them quite frequently after the second trimester hits, so I figured I should start pretty quickly.

So for the First Old Wives Tale, I did the Chinese Gender Predictor Chart. I did a few of them to see if there was any variance, because I know some of them use the Western months and ages, whereas the REAL ones use the lunar/Eastern calendar and ages. I went to this website. According to ALL the Chinese predictor charts, I am to expect a BOY. To compare to Rosalynn, I went back and re-submitted all my info for my conception with Rosie, and sure enough, ALL of them said I would have a GIRL....so how accurate are these?

What does it say you are having/ had? How much can we rely on it? I would love for a few of you to try it out for your current pregnancies or past pregnancies and tell me what it says:-)

So Far:
Boy: 100%
Girl: 0%
This could turn out to be a lot of fun!!! Let me know if there are any old wives tales you want me to try!

Dancing the Night Away!

Foster and I attended the annual Ohio National Guard Winter Dinner and Dance. They decided to hold it in a hotel this year, making it convenient and safer for those who wanted to drink and have a little fun. Foster and I had tossed the decision back and forth on whether to get a room. We decided that if I was not pregnant this month ( I would have found out 7 days before the ball), then we would get a room so that neither one of us had to be the responsible adult and drive us home. I have to admit, although I would love nothing more than to have Rosalynn here, or be pregnant with her brother or sister, it is the little things like this that make me look on the positive side of not having children to worry about. (I have to look at the bright side to keep myself sane).

I had to work the night before so I was afraid I would be exhausted. I had to get my nails done before my hair appointment with the girls at 2pm. I woke up at 11 and rolled myself out of bed, headed to the salon, and got a manicure and pedicure. Foster packed our bags, and when I got back we headed towards the hotel. I met the girls at the salon, and the hair artists commenced on out locks. They hair style came out beautiful!!

MINE! LOVE IT!!

Foster and a few of the guys decided to head to a local bar and start drinking while watching rugby while I headed to the next step in my transformation, makeup! If you remember I told you I was going to go to Macy's to get my makeup done, well, they did not have a MAC counter at this Macy's so I went to the Lancome counter instead. As I mentioned, I spent WAY more than their minimum, but I came away with some great skin products. I really need to switch up my skin regimen after the pregnancy because my skin has not been the same, and I have quite a few more wrinkles than I did a year ago.

As I was getting my makeup done, my best friend JJ showed up because she just happened to be int he area. We got to talk and hang out for a little bit, it had been WAY too long!

Once the prep work was done, foster and I went to the hotel room where Mr and Mrs Prince met up with us for a few cocktails prior to the event. This is when I snuck into the bedroom to put the finishing touches to my look, I put on the dress and jewelry. When I emerged from the bathroom, Foster's jaw dropped. He was so pleased with the look I had put together, and even admitted that the money was worth it because I looked "Beautiful, classy and stunning". I will show you this picture, but Foster is not happy, because he is missing his jacket, but it is the ONLY full length picture I have of my dress. Make sure to check out the shoes!

Foster and I all dressed up! (minus his jacket:-)

Mr and Mrs Prince

Foster goofing off

Who knows! they were messin with the camera!

When we went downstairs tot eh ball, there were TONS of people there. I thoroughly enjoy going to these events, because I am such a social butterfly. Everyone from the first FEMALE Ohio TAG was present, to the CSM of the Ohio Army National Guard. The TAG informed me that regardless of whether Foster was able to attend this year's NAGUS conference in Milwaukee, I was coming. "Well yes Ma'am!" I responded as we both started laughing. I don't know how I can say no to that, so I guess I am attending the conference in August!

When I went looking for people from my unit, they were nowhere to be found. I know I have a small unit, but I was kind of hoping at least one of the officers would be present. I stopped by to talk to my Battalion Commander, and asked her if she knew where my unit was seated, and she said "You are it!". I laughed and told her I left my uniform at home and it was too small anyway.

Of course I came armed with my camera, and got some great photos!

The boys!

Our new FIRST FEMALE TAG and her hubby!

love these guys!

and them too! look at her heals! Hot!

Foster is taking us BOTH to the ball next year since her hubby will be deployed:-) We are getting matching dresses and she is dying her air red...then it will be his ultimate fantasy!

The funniest story of the night was when Foster ate the leftovers off his boss' wife's plate! She had a whole piece of salmon she didn't even touch, and I guess all the drinking had made Foster hungry, so he asked her a total of three times if she minded if she was SURE she wasn't going to eat it, and she insisted he take it, but of course as soon as he ate it, we would not let him live it down. From what I hear, his boss is still teasing him about it at work, and making TALL tails out of the story, jokingly saying Foster stole the food and was eating off of every one's plates. I warned him they would never let him live that down! Of course we took a picture of him pretending to take her dessert too!

His boss is hilarious and always likes to tease Foster because of how well he takes it!

Around 1 AM Foster was about to drop. I took him upstairs and tucked him into bed and then headed back down to the hotel bar to spend more time with the girls! We sat by an outdoor fire and chatted with the CSM (Command Sergeant Major) for about another hour. He was stationed with Foster on their last deployment, and for a while we were chatting and every time I mentioned something about myself, he would respond "I know,"

I responded, "Now, I know since I am in the Army there are things that you can find out that way, but how the heck do you know some of these personal things?!?!"

He said, "Well, Foster told me so much about you! He talked about you for a year straight and I probably know more about you than you can imagine."

That scares me just a little bit! But at the same time, it was flattering to know that Foster talked so much about me while he was deployed, and to such an important man. By the end of the evening we were toasting champagne, and I learned a lot more about him too, so I didn't feel so odd.

Overall it was a pretty amazing night, and I really enjoyed spending such a special night with Foster. I am already looking forward to next year's ball!

Military Ball Dress Shopping!!

Although life has been a little boring as of late, the next few months is bringing some new adventures. Of course I am looking forward to graduation this March, but there are two more events I am looking forward to almost just as much, The National Guard Winter Dinner and dance, and the Women of Faith Conference (I will post about this later).

In a few weeks Foster and I will be attending the National Guard's Winter Dinner and Dance. One of my fellow military wives called me yesterday wondering if I would be interested in getting my makeup and hair done with her. Of course I was interested! I LOVE getting pampered! I bought a coupon off of groupon.com for a facial at 70% off (I promise, this is NOT a plug) you NEED to check out this site if you have not already!. I am getting a mani/pedi I also got a coupon off of groupon.com, and then on the day of the ball I will be going and getting my hair and makeup done with the girls. I have a trick to getting a good makeover, pay the money, but get something in return. Instead of paying $50 at a salon for professional makeup application and leaving with nothing but an empty wallet and a face that only lasts one evening, the MAC counter at your local department store will do a free scheduled makeover and you buy $50 worth of products. I LOVE this, because I already use MAC, and always need something added to my makeup collection, and they do an amazing job. However the downside is I usually walk away spending a lot more than $50.

Yesterday my mom journeyed through the weather to stay with me. She is leaving for the Virgin Islands tomorrow, and she was afraid she would get snowed in at her house so she came to stay with me! I only live about 15 minutes from the airport. After talking to my friend about the ball, she said she was going out dress shopping. I figured I would too because I didn't want to wait for the last minute. Since I don't like going shopping by myself, I waited for my mom to arrive and we were off to find a ball gown.

I was really nervous about this, because I am about 2 sizes bigger than before I was pregnant. I am extremely self conscience about my body, and not happy with anything I have put on recently. I see pictures of myself, and I am disgusted at the way my body looks, so I was dreading the dress shopping.

Our first stop was Nordstrom's. I felt so out of place in this store, because I was dressed to go to the gym after shopping, but the sales associate was sooooooo helpful. She helped me pick out a few beautiful gowns and helped give an outsider's opinion on each of them. I found one gown that I absolutely loved. It was elegant, sexy, but EXTREMELY expensive! It was slimming and flattered me and my curves, but I was a little fidgety in the gown because it clung a little too much to my hips because of the material it was made of. If I'm not comfortable, I will be self conscience all night, so I made a note in my head to come back if I couldn't find anything better.

The next dress I tried on was also beautiful, but red is often a hard color for me to pull off because of my hair color. The gathering at the waist was perfect to hide that little baby fat still settled around my midsection, and the one shoulder was perfect to make my shoulders look smaller than they are. I liked it, but it was just not what I was looking for.

Mom and I decided to head over to Macy's. I was confident that I would find an appropriate dress for a decent price since the holidays have passed. THEY HAD NOTHING!!! I mean NOTHING!!! I was baffled. I have never had an issue finding a gown at Macy's, but it seemed they sold every long gown for the holidays and only had a few select ones left over. The ones that were in my size were hideous, and the ones I liked didn't have my size. Before I got too frustrated, mom had an idea to head over to David's Bridal. I was hesitant, because I wasn't looking for a bridesmaid's dress, however, I recalled that they do have a party dress section. As we were looking through the racks, mom came across a dress so elegant, so beautiful, it would never pass as a bridesmaid's dress. I was so excited. I grabbed a few different colors, red, black, and navy blue, and headed to the dressing room. When I emerged in the black version of the gown, heads turned. It fit perfectly, it is so elegant and classy. I felt beautiful. Many of you women know that even if you have a few extra pounds, if you feel beautiful, you look beautiful to those around you. You exude a confidence that people stand up and take notice of. As soon as I topped the dress off with these heels, I just knew it was the outfit!

I know, I am sure you all want to see the dress too, but Foster will not see it until the night of the ball, so neither will you. I haven't been this excited about a gown since my wedding dress!

My FIRST Published Piece!!!!!

Here it is....FINALLY!! My very first "published" piece!! It is the article I wrote for the Ohio National Guard Association. I was afraid they were going to cut it down, let's just say I would be an awful journalist if I was only fiven 500 words!! But they didn't and I am sooooo excited to share the entire article with you! So without further adieu: 


"A Guard Wife's View"


Erin Foster · As my husband David and I stepped off of the
plane in Austin, Texas, I was filled with anticipation and excitement
for another entertaining conference hosted by the
National Guard Association of the United States (NGAUS).
With a little hesitation and no knowledge of what to expect,
I had accompanied David to his first conference, last year
in Nashville. This year was different; I was feeling like a
seasoned vet.

On our way to Austin we met a wide-eyed woman in the
airport wearing an Air Force T-shirt. After introductions, I
was pleased to find out that Rae was the wife of Ohio Air National
Guard Capt. Bo Cunningham. I was ecstatic, because
last year I had the pleasure of spending time with Tessie
Springer, the wife of Capt. J. R. Springer, and I was hoping
to meet another Ohio wife to enjoy my time with this year.
I was eager to introduce Rae to all of the spousal activities
available at the conference.

We arrived in Austin to real Texan hospitality. There
were tables with refreshments offered while we boarded
the buses that would take us to our respective hotels. Each
state was assigned to a different hotel in downtown Austin,
and we were provided bus transportation to and from the
Conference center, the different activities, and the hotels.
When David and I checked into the Radisson, our room
was not ready. However, to our delight the hospitality suites
were already open. Each state had a hospitality suite supplied
with snacks and beverages to entertain its members
and visitors from other states during downtime throughout
the weekend. We made our way to the suite where col
Ashenhurst, Mr. and Mrs. Wilson, and a few other members
of Ohio’s National Guard Association (ONGA) already were
taking advantage of all of the comforts the hospitality room
had to offer. We joined them for some drinks and conversation
until our room was cleaned and ready. We were eager
to prepare ourselves for the night’s festivities.

The first night the company grade officers and field grade
officers went their separate ways. The Company Grade
Mixer was hosted at Deutsches Haus, which had a great indoor/
outdoor environment for socializing. Thanks to donations
by DRASH, we were provided with an open bar of
local wines and beers, including Shiner Bock. We enjoyed
a buffet of brats and brisket, potato salad and coleslaw was

served while a live band performed familiar country songs.
It was our first opportunity to meet and greet couples from
all over the country. 

During this event the tradition of trading the state pins
became noticeable. Each state designs and brings their
own pins and gives each member and their spouse a certain
number to trade with other state members. It is the
perfect opportunity for people to mingle and strike up conversations.
This year Ohio was represented with the Marble
Head Lighthouse complete with its own red blinking
light. The goal was to obtain a pin from each of the fiftyfour
states and territories. Some of the wives made it a little
friendly competition, and came up with some creative
means for filling up their lanyards. I was able to obtain
forty-six states this year.
 
Although Thursday night was full of activities and socializing,
Friday was the official kickoff of the conference. All
of the exhibits were open for viewing and included everything
from previews of wearable gear to the newest military
technology. While the officers inquired about new gear
for their troops, their spouses took interest in some of the
interactive booths and the free goodies that were up for
grabs. We were able to fire computerized weapons, tour
new combat vehicles and tents, and even create personalized
dog tags. Pens, coffee mugs, T-shirts, kozies, and notepads
were just a few of the goodies I grabbed to add extra
pounds to my suitcase. After taking our first quick tour of
the exhibits, Rae and I headed up to the opening ceremonies.
Last year, I was unaware that spouses were allowed
to attend this portion of the conference, and fully intended
to be present this year.
 
A local high school’s JROTC performed an impressive
drill team routine to kick off the ceremony. A mariachi band
and country music musicians played songs leading up to
the introduction of the governor of Texas, Rick Perry. He
gave an incredible speech that welcomed everyone to the
great state of Texas, explained all of the future plans for
the Texas National Guard, and jokingly asked the soldiers
present to stay behind and help secure the border.
Immediately following the governor’s speech came the
State Roll Call. Each year, a representative of each state has
sixty seconds to introduce their state. Each one is different.
Some states described their accomplishments in the military,
some rattled off facts in creative ways while throwing
treats into the audience. I made a note that next year
I am going to borrow my husband’s IOTV and ACH for the

State Roll Call. Puerto Rico threw bags of coffee, Louisiana
threw Mardi Gras beads, Texas threw cowboy hats. I was
hit in the head twice by candy corn that Nebraska tossed,
dodged numerous snacks and goodies, and was relieved
when the “Granite State,” New Hampshire, decided not to
throw real granite. Did you know California has more cows
than Texas, and makes more cheese than Wisconsin? Did
you know that Georgia has the biggest party college in the
nation? A few interesting characters accompanied the roll
call of select states. Elvis was in the building, and Maryland
had dancing crabs. Alabama promised that if you visited
their beaches, thanks to BP, you would lie down and stick
to them. All in all, it was very entertaining.

The day was followed by an evening of bull riding, barrel
racing and rodeo clowns. For supper, everyone enjoyed
brisket, rotisserie chicken, and peach cobbler served out of
the back of Conestoga wagons. As if a rodeo wasn’t enough
excitement for the evening, like royalty, we were treated to
a private concert by country music singer Rick Trevino. We
headed back shortly after the concert, and although some
couples decided to check out the night life of Austin, we
headed back to the hotel because David had an early morning
of meetings, and I had a big day of shopping ahead of me.

Saturday morning was the big spouses outing. While
our husbands and wives were busy in meetings, we were
given the option of shopping at the Riverfront in San Antonio,
antique shopping in Austin, or outlet mall shopping
in San Marcos. To our surprise, we were each handed a
twenty-dollar gift card to use on our shopping excursion.
Even though the temperatures were reaching 106 degrees,
Rae and I enjoyed our outlet mall shopping experience.
Some of the spouses enjoyed their free afternoon by lying
out at the hotel pools and relaxing. I was impressed by the
way the spouses were included and entertained through
the long hours our soldiers and airmen were in meetings.

Saturday night was the much-anticipated Hospitality
Night. As I mentioned previously, each state has a suite
that is designated to their members for relaxing and refreshments
during downtime. However, one night out of
the weekend, the rooms were transformed into a room full
of pride for the state. It was their opportunity to brag about
the local foods, display fun decorations representing college
and professional teams, and to entertain visitors from
other states. New York had some of their upstate wines and,
of course, Buffalo wings. Florida had crab dips and a “special
recipe” clam chowder. The SEC football states put their
differences aside and banned together to throw the partyof all hospitality parties at Maggie Mae’s, a local bar. It was a two-story bar opened exclusively to the NGAUS participants.
Music, drinks, dancing and more food was available.
I think I gained fifteen pounds from all of the succulent
brisket I ate.

As the conference was coming to a close, the spouses
were offered a parting gift. They had about fifteen gifts
from which to choose, including longhorn shaped dinner
bells, pewter or sterling silver cuff bracelets, coffee mugs,
and for the culinary lovers present, a book filled with Texas
recipes. Each wife walked away with a souvenir to fit their
own taste and style. Rae chose a beautiful sterling silver
bracelet, and I chose the boot shaped dinner bell that is a
nice addition to my western themed bedroom.

On the last night, Texas sent us out in style. The state’s
dinner is always the last event, and this one was a great
culmination to the 2010 NGAUS Conference. Filet mignon,
stuffed chicken, sweet potatoes and fresh salad were served,
together with bottles of red and white wine. After an enjoyable
meal with the other Ohio junior officers, we were
invited to get a group picture with the Ohio TAG, MG Wayt.
It was the perfect conclusion to the perfect weekend.

I strongly encourage all officers and their spouses to join
us for the 2011 NGAUS Conference in Milwaukee! These
conferences have great professional opportunities for any
officer, and wonderful occasions for spouses to
meet and make lasting friendships. As Rae perfectly articulated,
“I felt not only included, but welcomed into this part
of Bo’s life which is so important to him.” David and I fully
intend to participate. So, you first-timers feel free to hunt
down the bubbly, talkative, red head, and I will be glad to
show you the ropes!

Guest Blogger

Well, well, well. I have just been honored as a guest blogger on one of my fellow Army Wife's blogs. Follow her @ "ACU, Stiletto Shoes, And Pretty Pink Tutus" HERE.

It is an entry about the situations that have arisen being dual status and an officer and enlisted couple in the military. I am so excited about all the new wonderful followers I have been blessed with since the post.

Thank you Mrs. G.I. Joe!

Visit my entry Here: "An Officer and His Specialist".

Pure Heaven!!!

I wasn't going to post today. I was not really inspired, very annoyed which is a story for another time, and did not have the wedding blog finished and ready to post yet. I asked Foster if I could have his blog entry to put up because I was too lazy to post, but he wants to perfect it, and until then, it will not be handed over to me. So I was ready to head to bed when I decided to check my facebook one more time. One of my friends posted a military reunion video that brought me to tears. Not because they were sad, but because they were such amazingly happy, touching moments that unless you have been a part of that moment, you cannot truly comprehend the feelings that overflow. I am blessed enough to have gotten to experience this beautiful moment first hand on December 10, 2008 when Foster returned home from his deployment.

Foster and I had officially been together for fifteen months, however, we had only spent four months together on the same side of the earth. He was sent to the sandbox three short months after we met. I was lucky to have spent four amazing days with him between his training in Texas and his year in Iraq. Plus, there was a ten day period he came to Texas while I was training as an Army medic that I was able to see him for 48 glorious hours of that. Other than that, we were apart for a year. So you can imagine the excitement that started to build as his homecoming ceremony was approaching.

Foster's parents, my parents and myself were patiently awaiting the bus full of soldiers at a local school. The Army band was there ready to strike up, and there were families getting antsy. After three hours of waiting, two hours past their expected time of arrival, I saw Foster's friend who is was stationed with the rear detachment. "Captain B, what is going on that is taking so long?"

He pulled me aside from the rest of the families to explain to me in a hushed voice that our guys and girls were cooling their heals at the airport. Someone had not done their job properly, because the buses never showed to pick them up. That was no big surprise, the Army never ceases to amaze me sometimes. I suggested we used the band's buses and as many mini vans as possible, and we could go pick them up ourselves. The airport was only a half an hour away and it was ridiculous that it was taking 2 hours to get them. By this time they could have walked to the school. CPT B got everything under control (I guess he had already thought of the band buses, great minds think alike!), and about thirty minutes later we got the news that the buses were pulling up.

I bypassed the front door, because that is where everyone was filing out, and I found a side door. I ran to the front in my heeled boots. It was cold! I anxiously watched the buses and vans pull up with hundreds of guys in uniform. They all looked alike, but I was sure I would be able to pick Foster out in the group. I looked and looked, and started to get worried that he had not made the first trip of buses and was still hanging out at the airport. I guess my father saw him before I did, but did not say anything, because as I stood looking for him, I felt these strong arms wrap around my shoulders from behind. I felt warm lips on the side of my face, and an "I love you" in my right ear. I whipped around and embraced Foster with all of my being. I kissed him and hugged him and did not care that my parents and his parents were standing there watching. Actually, I wish someone had gotten that moment on video.

I have never felt such an overflowing of emotion. Relief that he was home safe, Love for this man I have not seen in person for almost a year, excitement for that moment and the future to come. If there was one feeling I could bottle up and sell, it would be that feeling. There is no one word that can explain it. The closest I can get is "heaven".

The following video is not the one I posted on my facebook, because I could not find the embedding code, but it is close! This video made these feelings come flooding back, and I figured I would share it with all of my fellow military wives who's husbands are deployed. We are blessed. When our husbands return home, we get to experience this unique emotion that so few people will. Let this future reunion keep you strong and positive these next months while your men are gone, because you will soon get to be doing this too, and I hope someone catches it on video.

God Bless Our Troops!

Where do I Belong?

If you randomly stumbled onto my blog, you wouldn't know what it focused on. If you are a baby loss mommy, there are no pictures of Rosalynn to clue you in that she is the reason I started this blog, and unless you scrolled down and saw my link to Faces of Loss or the beautiful name projects from other BLMs, you would not know I had lost my daughter without reading my posts. If you are a military wife, you would have no indication that I am a part of this strong group of women because my page is not full of Army photos of Foster or me, or layouts with boots, camo, and dog tags on it. It feels like I am in high school all over again. I was a swimmer and also had friends outside of this group, and other than about 3 girls, I never felt like I completely fit into any particular click. Once again, I feel connected to both groups, but do not feel like I completely fit into either one. I didn't want to make my blog dedicated to only Rosie, because although she was the one who inspired this blog, she is not all that defines me. Right now it seems she consumes ninety percent of my thoughts, and influences ninety percent of my moods and actions, but this is not how it has always been and this is not how it will always be. I also wanted to leave the option open to continue to post on this blog if God blesses us with another pregnancy. This is still up for debate in my mind for a number of reasons, and if the time comes, I will be asking for opinions on what to do.

I do not post a lot about being a military wife at this time, because although we have gone through time apart with TDYs and deployments, Foster and I are blessed enough to not be faced with any real challenges with the military right now. However, I am going to talk about something tonight that may make this change in a couple years, and then this blog may take a HUGE turn. BEFORE I go into details a note to our friends in real life and family members (Moms and Dads, all sisters) PLEASE do not talk about this with us in real life unless we bring it up, because there are A LOT of factors that still need to go into play and things he and I need to talk about, so DO NOT PANIC!! Foster has a few years left with his current unit, but he has been introduced to a very specialized program that the Army offers that he would be great for. It is a Masters program that he can obtain a few different ways, and would give him a degree in either Nuclear Physics or Weapons of Mass Destruction. He would have a great opportunity to move up very quickly in ranks and possibly hold very important positions. It would also help his civilian career if he ever decided to get out of the Army. I am supper supportive of whatever path he decides to go with his career because he makes decisions on how he can improve himself and take better care of his family. As I mentioned before, Foster is currently active duty with the National Guard. The biggest PCS (Permanent Change of Station for those of you non-military) we have to worry about is getting stationed across the state, HOWEVER, IF he goes with this degree, he would go active duty in the regular Army.

This sends me into a few mixed emotions. Who wouldn't want to travel while they are still young and, currently, without any children? If he is active duty regular Army, this means we would be moved to a different state, and although the farthest we would probably go would be Maryland or DC, it is scary for me to think I may be that far away from my family and friends. I am nervous about the change and what the future could bring. Thankfully it is quite a while away, and we have plenty of time to figure things out, and he may even find a different endeavor to pursue, but these are the ideas and plans for the moment.

An update about Back in His Arms Again for my Baby loss moms. I am happy to say I had an amazing meeting with Kam, the founder. She wants me at the next board meeting which is supposed to be tomorrow, but I have not heard the definitive plan yet. I recently talked to a friend of mine who is about to take her boards to officially become a PsyD. (Doctorate in Psychology). She is amazing, and wants to donate her time and counseling services in her area. I am so proud to have friends like this. If any of my BLMs want to donate their time or services, feel free to contact me, and after the meeting, I will let you know how you too can help. (I know there are a few of you that do baskets and memory boxes that I would LOVE to have your help in providing the families that contact me with one of these beautiful, helpful gifts, and I may be contacting you in the future.) My last question is do ANY of you work for a cell phone company. I need some advice. I know companies are required to donate so much in charity. A HUGE portion of this business is on the phone, talking to the families, calling the funeral homes, calling the cemeteries, calling the hospitals, calling the counselors, etc. Kam, her hubby and I will be the main 3 that will be talking A LOT. Kam says she goes through a new phone every 3-5 months because she burns through the batteries and overheats the phones so quickly. As a way to alleviate some of the cost, I was inquiring if any cell phone company would donate a 3 line family care plan. We ARE a non profit, so we only have money coming in through fundraisers and our own pockets, so saving money on a cell phone plan would alleviate a HUGE cost. If any of you know HOW or WHERE or WHO I need to talk to, PLEASE let me know. I used to get free donations from stores and restaurants for Christmas parties, I am SURE I can get one plan donated for a non-profit organization. I have a few phone calls to make tomorrow.

On a final note, I am sooooooo excited for this weekend. Anne's wedding!!! I am very nervous about once again standing up and making a speech in front of a bunch of strangers. Say a little prayer for me that A) I can do Anne justice, and B) that I do not make a fool of myself.

Sorry, this blog is ALL over the place....proving my point from earlier.

OH....and check out, I posted a new My Bug's Life entry!! click here or on the side bar of my blog.

Changing the World One Policy at a Time!

As I have mentioned numerous times, I am in the Ohio Army National Guard. I joined a little over 2 years ago while Foster was deployed. He inspired me. He really enjoyed his experience, his college was paid for, and he was thriving in the military. It really motivated me and made me want to put on the uniform also. I figured the perfect time for me to join is while he was deployed because it would help make the time pass faster, and would make me keep busy and keep my mind off of the fact that he was putting himself in harms way.

I thought for sure it was meant to be. I went into the recruiting office and specifically told them what I wanted to do and what bonuses I wanted. I wanted my $20,ooo bonus, I wanted them to pay for my school, pay off my student loans I had already accrued, and I wanted to get the kicker for the GI Bill. I specifically wanted to be a "combat medic", and was really disappointed when I saw "Health Care Specialist" as the explanation of the job. However, after further explanation from the recruiter, they have to use Health Care Specialist for two reasons. One, women cannot hold combat related jobs, and two, it sounded more appealing, aka, it tricked people into picking it. I breezed through the ASVAB, which is the aptitude test to enter, and came out with a score of a 97 which is extremely high. I made it through my physical with advice to lose a few pounds to make basic training easier. I told my recruiter I NEEDED to leave by May 21st in order to return home in time to prepare for Foster's return from Iraq. Most of my friends who had recently joined were not given ship dates until July, however, both my recruiter and I were SHOCKED when the lottery picked a ship date of May 20th. He had never seen anyone literally pick their ship date. I felt it was meant to be.

I worked really hard to get into shape. I diligently ran every day, preparing myself for the 2 mile run in the PT test. I practiced push-ups and sit-ups to get ready for those. I wanted to succeed and even excel in the Army.

I shipped out on May 20th for basic training and endured a grueling 60 days of getting yelled at, "smoked", and writing letters in order to communicate with my boyfriend in the "sandbox". I then went to AIT in San Antonio, TX. It was just as hard, if not worse than initial basic training, but at least I was able to have my cell phone which meant Foster could call me whenever he had a moment. It was amazing to hear his voice again and to have his encouragement to do my best and achieve my goals. If you remember, I told the story of how I achieved the distinguished honor grad, and received my first Army medal while I was still in training.

When I got home from training, I was so motivated to join my unit and take it by storm. I just knew they would be proud of me for my accomplishments in training, be a great unit, and I would learn and teach as much as I could. I came back in the best shape of my life with a tremendous amount of confidence, and I expected that the National Guard would help me maintain this. I was expecting to get the amazing experience out of the guard as Foster had for almost 10 years. Boy was I in for a surprise.

Not only did my command not congratulate me on my accomplishments in training, they didn't even acknowledge them. I came back from training with pneumonia and was made to take a PT before they would promote me, even though I had just taken one and excelled in it the month prior. Unfortunately, I was unaware that I could have taken a pass due to the pneumonia, and tried to run the test but miserably failed. I couldn't breathe. Thanks to this, I was unable to get a promotion. Then there was a huge change of command and most of the personnel were switched out which changed the whole morale of the unit. Our new command was not well liked, so the motivation of the other soldiers was non-existent. I would go to drill on the weekend and instead of doing cool Army training, it seemed like everyone was just sitting around gossiping and texting on their phones. I became so frustrated with the entire scene. I should have gone active duty.

Then our unit got rumors of a deployment. We were told we would be leaving in April for Iraq. The morale started to change, and we actually started to conduct some pretty good training. We were given the funds for new equipment, more schools, and more activities. I was enrolled in ROTC to become an officer, so I would not be going on the deployment with them. However, when I found out I was pregnant, my plans for my military career were cut short. Foster is in a rapid deployment unit with little notice when called. He is unable to be outside a certain radius of his base and we do not have a family care plan that covers a call at 4 am if I am out of town for training or a deployment and he is home alone with the kids. So we decided it would be best for me to take the honorable discharge due to pregnancy. This would give me the option to reenlist 2 years following my discharge if I chose to.

I started asking my chain of command for the paper work and regulations that helped me get the process rolling, however, no one seemed to know anything about the pregnancy "out". With the hustle and bustle of the upcoming deployment, I feel like I was kind of brushed under the rug. I feel like I was almost snubbed because I got pregnant before a deployment. But I was already not going because of ROTC, and it wasn't like I did it on purpose, I was on birth control when it happened. I had to do the research on my own, get the paperwork printed up through a Sergent who was not in charge of doing so, and hunt my commander down to counsel me and get my discharge started. All of this SHOULD have been done earlier on in the pregnancy, and I SHOULD have been out by now. To top things off, they were not treating me like a pregnant soldier. they still made me go to the weapons range and fire a M16 while on my stomach fo 3 hours while I was 12 weeks pregnant and wearing about 20-30 lbs of gear. They threw me in the kitchen where I was on my feet for 8 hours straight, and made me ride in Humvees that shook me around like a baby rattle. I am not blaming the Army for the loss of my daughter, but I find it interesting that the bleeding started only a few days after the weapons range incident.
I finally got all of the paper work signed and sent up to higher headquarters on April 18, 2010. Well, we lost Rosie 2 days later. According to Regular Army regulation, if a woman loses a child 16 weeks gestation or after, than she still has the option of getting out of the military. This is an obvious regulation, because the emotional strain and mental anguish that goes along with losing a child takes over your existence, and is not conducive to being a good soldier. However, I guess the Ohio Army National guard does not agree with this. they claim if you lose the child, you are still enlisted, and your discharge orders are cancelled. So, my discharge was supposed to be April 28, 2010, and now it has been cancelled. Period. End of story. Sorry, I get no choice in the matter.

To say I am a little stunned is an understatement. I cannot imagine who would think that losing a child would be any different for a woman in active duty and part time. I understand an active duty soldier is a soldier everyday, but National Guard soldiers are getting deployed left and right now a days, and we still have to train away from home. I would NOT be able to mentally handle a deployment right now. I would freak out if I had to leave my home and husband for that long. I cannot even imagine going to annual training for 2 weeks this August and being away from Foster and the safety of my home for that long. If I could take him with me, that might be a different story, but unfortunately, unlike his missions where I accompany him, he cannot go with me.

I had a meeting with my commander to go over everything that had happened wrong through this process, what could be done next time to rectify the situation, and what my future plans with the Guard are. If everything had been done properly, I would already be discharged, and would not have to deal with all of this. He acknowledged this, and apologized for the hold up with my paperwork. He said although it was not an excuse, the deployment and subsequent cancellation of the deployment took up so much of his and the command's attention, that they unintentionally let my situation slip through the cracks. However, being a Nurse Practitioner, he agreed with me and felt that the Guard regulation pertaining to stillbirths was very disturbing, and he is going to bring it up at the next big meeting. I told him I wanted to do everything I could to get that policy changed and give the women the option of still getting out if they so choose. He is 100% behind me. I do not know exactly how it will effect me, probably not at all, but at least no other woman will have to stress over the Army while they are grieving their child.
He has given me an excuse from annual training this summer, and is going to allow me to make it up by helping in the office for a couple of weeks. He also promised that as soon as I get pregnant next time, that he will personally help me with the paperwork and make sure I am out without any stress since my next pregnancy will be stressful enough. I don't know if I am completely satisfied with the outcome, but I am glad he apologized and I hope he does not make the same mistake with me or any other female soldier for that matter. I hope he learned from his mistakes. Until the next pregnancy, I will continue to try and be the best soldier I can be regardless of the lack of enthusiasm from the other members, and will TRY and make the best of the rest of my experience in the Guard, however, I have come to the conclusion that I will probably never have the amazing experience that Foster has had. Who knows what my future holds in the Army, Whether my path leads me to a career in the military, or I remain only military wife and give up my job as a soldier, I will embrace it with an open mind and open arms. I just wish that I still had the passion from when I was in training, and pray that my feelings about my unit and the Guard will change in the coming months.