First I want to say thanks for all of my stalkers who commented and let their presence known on my delurking post! It was great to meet all of you!!
This has probably been the longest I have gone without posting a blog. I am so sorry to those of you who check on a daily basis:-) I guess it is because I have been so busy with things, that I barely have enough time to breath, much less sit down and write. I figured, since I noticed I have gotten a few new followers, that I would take this entry as an opportunity to fill them in on me and my life, along with giving all of you a quick update on the going ons in my household.
First, an introduction. thank you if you are a new follower. I originally started this blog as a way of relieving some of my grief after the loss of my precious daughter Rosalynn. She was a beautiful 5lb 12oz baby girl who grew angel wings on April 20th 2010. We were 34weeks4days into our pregnancy when we were told her heart had stopped. Foster, my dear husband, and I have been going through this awful journey with the help and support of my loving friends and family. I cannot express to you how much this little online space has helped me. The outpouring of support and understanding from friends and strangers alike has been so healing. I have come across some of the strongest women I have ever met through my support group and this blog. Women who are going through similar journeys as I am.
I have also been inspired to make a few changes in the world because of my daughter. I am an Emergency Room Tech, a student, and a Medic in The National Guard. I am currently waiting for the stillbirth leave policy to be changed this July through my work to more reflect that of a maternity leave, and I am also in the process of trying to find the best way of changing the National Guard Policy for stillbirth mothers. I have gotten involved with a non-profit group called "Back In His Arms Again" which assists stillbirth parents with the care of their angel baby and the funeral arrangements, also assisting in the costs that go with it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far, is the start of my own little project, in accordance with the non-profit group "Project Sweet Peas". I am the local project leader here in Ohio, and it is entitled "Roses from Rosalynn". PSP and RFR are dedicated to bringing comfort and memories to parents who have children in the NICU and who have suffered a stillbirth. I am currently focusing my attention on the stillbirth parents. I have bags that will be filled with helpful items that will assist these parents in creating as many memories as possible of their little angel. these bags will have molds for hand and foot impressions, journals for writing thoughts and memories in, disposable cameras, an outfit fit for a burial, blanket, footies, hats, a small bear for baby and a big bear for mom to ease that "empty arm syndrome", and a book "Mommy Please Don't Cry, There are No Tears in Heaven." I am waiting for my big bears and a few more of the books, and I will be making my first 10bag donation very soon. I have friends who have extended their services for blanket making and others who have offered to get donations. I am thrilled at the outpouring of generosity so many have shown. I have added donation buttons to all of my pages that goes directly into a pay-pal account and aids in the expenses of these bags.
Now for an update!
I am getting closer and closer to graduation! I am thrilled! Foster and I have talked about what I should do after March. I still am not sure what I want to do when I grow up. I want to go back to nursing school EVENTUALLY. However, I am burnt out from school. I am soooooo needing a break from this hectic life of school, work, studying, school, work, studying. I feel like it hinders my abilities to pursue that things I love, primarily writing and photography. I have recently taken up photography and am LOVING it, and I have not had the slightest chance to get any further in ANY of my books for the past 6 months because I have been so busy. So, I am giving myself 18 months. 18 months after I graduate to continue working my job and purse my passions. I am going to focus on getting at least one of my books completely written, or at least 80% before trying to get a publisher. I am also going to see how far I can take this photography business. I have an eye, I know that much, but I want to perfect my photo shopping skills, and learn the tricks to making that PERFECT picture! I have tons of friends who have been generous in their time, allowing me to use them as my test subjects on different equipment I have been obtaining, filters, new settings, and new ideas. I LOVE them all for it, and in exchange, they get a free disk with their photos on them.
Foster is incredibly supportive, and thinks that I can achieve my dreams! Have I told you lately how much I love this man? He just wants me to be happy in what I do for the rest of my life, and although nursing would secure an income, I am not so sure how happy it would make me.
Last but not least (sorry for the long post, and thanks to those of you who are still reading!) we have a HUGE project starting in March. Last year, before finding out we were pregnant, Foster and I were getting quotes on remodeling our kitchen. We were going to gut it, however, the news that we were expecting changed those plans. Instead of dropping $15-20,000 on a new kitchen, we needed to put our money towards a wedding that was bumped up 9 months, new carpet and windows in the house since the baby's room needed them BAD, and the expenses of baby furniture and items. Well, now we are going back to the kitchen! We started looking around at ideas, and we will have a couple contractors coming out shortly to show us designs and prices. We figured that if we do get pregnant again (Sorry for those of you who are following my cycles, this month is a bust!) there will be no need to worry about the expenses since we have everything we need for a baby. So, let "Operation Gut Kitchen" commence! We are putting in new floors, new lighting, cabinets, counters, buying new appliances, everything. We are installing hardwood floors through the entry, kitchen, and family room, and even finishing the carpeting upstairs while we are at it. Why not? We are already going to be shelling out a butload of money, what is another $1-2,000 for carpeting right? I can't wait! This will all start in March after I graduate, because Foster does not trust starngers in our home while we are both gone. I will keep you all updated, and I have a feeling it will cause a little strain between Foster and I, because he gets REALLY moody when he spends a lot of money, and there are always hidden costs that pop up with a remodle, like the fact that we will probably have to eat out for a couple of weeks because we will have no kitchen! But I will try my best to keep him relaxed.
Whew! That was alot! Thanks if you held out to the end!
Well Here's a Huge Update
2 months ago