31 weeks...5 weeks to go!!!

WOW!! It has been a WHILE since I last wrote. I think part of the problem is because I have fallen into the anxiety phase of a rainbow pregnancy. We are approaching 34weeks and 5 days VERY quickly, and my mood and actions are starting to reflect it. I have become a recluse. I don't want to talk on the phone, I don't feel like hanging out with anyone, but at the same time I am trying to keep myself as busy as possible.

I had my 31 week appointment today including a Non Stress Test (NST). Avaleen passed with flying colors. There was a short 1-2 second period where her heart rate dropped to the 80-90 range. Of course this concerned me, but the doctor said that is completely normal, it is when it happens multiple times in the 30 minutes where they become concerned. Her heart was a steady, strong 140 or above the rest of the time, and she was soooooo active.


Dr. C surprised me today. I am really starting to love this man. I know that we started off on shaky ground, but he is showing his good side...his understanding and compassionate side lately. We started talking about the delivery. This is what he said, "I want to let you know that this isn't going to  be easy. Emotionally I mean. You are going to be soooo happy when Ava makes it here crying and alive, but then you are going to start grieving Rosalynn all over again. It is a VERY emotional situation...the birth after a late term loss." Then he looked at Foster and said, "The best thing for you to do is just be supportive, because it may not make sense to you why one minute she will be crying out of happiness and joy and the next out of guilt and resentment for not having this with your first daughter."

Amazing....this man is amazing. He gets it. He understands the emotions that I am and will be feeling. God love him!

We talked amnio. He asked me if I even wanted it, because he was willing to just take her at 36 weeks. I told him I would like one at 35. He said there is a 50/50 chance of her being ready at 35 weeks and as long as I was ready to walk away and go home for one week if the test came back that she wasn't ready, then he was more than willing to do it. I said I was, that I was already mentally preparing myself to go home for a week, but if she IS ready at 35 weeks, GREAT!! If not, no later than 36, he won't even repeat the test, just go in and take her. That means that it is official!! In no more than 5 weeks our little girl will be coming into the world!! 5 weeks...35 days! I honestly think she is destined to come on the 20th of October...it will be her sister's 18 month angelversary.

Your prayers are working! Please keep them coming for at least 5 more weeks. I thank every single one of you for the love and support that you have shown us over the past ALMOST 18 months. It has been a God send. I don't know how I would have survived the pain of losing Rosalynn and now the anxiety of carrying my rainbow without you.

31 week pictures: 

People have said I don't look 31 weeks...the heck I don't!! lol...but my butt IS getting smaller!! Go me! lol

My baby Avaleen...i don't think my aunt knew how true this shirt would be when she bought it for me during my last pregnancy. Ava truly will be a little Irish miracle!!