I don't know what snapped in me today. not sure if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or if I can blame the pregnancy hormones, or if it is stress and anxiety coming out in the form of rage, but I feel like I want to punch someone or something. No one in particular. I am not mad at my husband, or family, or one particular friend or another, I am just annoyed at EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE.
I was sitting at my desk at work, and even the sound of some of the nurses voices were grinding on my last nerve. One of my favorite doctors called me "Red" which has never bothered me, but I almost bit his head off and said "I have a name"...I didn't say this, but I REALLY wanted to.
My mom called to find out if everything was ok after my post last night, and I thought I was going to bite her head off. She asked me if everything was "okay".
For the record, I keep this blog so I DON'T have to call everyone every time something happens. I didn't want to worry my family, friends, or in laws so we didn't call ANYONE from the hospital. They were all pretty upset when they found out about it through my blog...but everything was fine in the end, so I didn't think it was necessary to call everyone and tell them what happened Sunday....guess I learned my lesson. (Most of you may be thinking the lesson I learned was to call my family first....well, the lesson is don't post it on the blog....lol...j/k mom, I will call next time I promise. Hopefully there isn't a next time).
Then I called my sister at her job, and pretty much picked a fight with her. You see, my mom's 60th birthday is on Saturday....oh, I mean her 30th! I was under the assumption that everyone would just make sure they were around for the monumental event. I made sure my day was clear. I made sure not to make any appointments with people for photo shoots...which by the way is REALLY hard since I have limited number of days left to shoot before Ava makes her entrance. I told Foster not to make any plans because we had to do something special with her....you only turn 60 once. Well, Bug has a wedding she is attending on Saturday. The girl has gone to more weddings this summer than I have attended my whole life. My argument point was that she COULD HAVE SAID NO. You don't have to feel obligated to go to every event you are invited to. Sure, the girl is a good friend, but this is your MOTHER's birthday! She started to defend herself and then told me she couldn't argue she was at work.
Why Not?!?! I was at work too! Okay, then again, probably NOT the best time to start an argument...I apologized, told her I knew I was being a total B**** and told her I loved her and would talk to her later.
Then Mr. JJ texted me to find out what we were doing on Saturday for my mom's b-day. I explained and he responded, "I will have to call her to wish her a happy birthday. The Buckeyes are playing".
REALLY...REALLY?!?!? The Buckeyes play EVERY SATURDAY during the fall....minus by-week...AND they aren't even that good this year!! PLUS....we are playing Toledo. It is going to be a blow out. I was yelling at him via text. At the same time I was telling him I was pissed at everything and not to take it personally, but was he really putting a stupid game ahead of my mom's birthday? It isn't every day a woman turns 30 for the 30th time!
I am sure if Foster is reading this, he is thrilled that I was at work and not at home where he would get into the path of my wrath. But don't think for one second he got off scott free.
He was supposed to run the half-marathon in Columbus in October. It was going to be around the time that Ava is born, but I wasn't too upset about that because it would only be a few hours out of the morning. Well, when he found out it was going to cost $55 as opposed to being free for the National Guard members like it has been every year in the past, he decided he didn't want to do it. Instead he asked me if it was okay if he ran the "Tough Mudder" in November. I naturally asked where it was. It is in Indiana!!! explain to me how forgoing the half marathon that costs $55 justifies spending not only the money to enter, but the money to GET TO INDIANA to run a race. Which of course will take him away from Ava and I for not just a few hours in the morning, but most likely for at least a day or two. Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture?!?!?
I may be completely overreacting in ALL of these situations, but in my current state I feel completely justified in my feelings. I have tried to calm myself down, but I feel as if there is a little monster deep inside of me wanting to break loose!! For the first time this pregnancy I feel like I have NO control over my emotions. I hope it passes, because I am usually such a pleasant pregnant lady. Not today! Meet Preggo Bitch!
Pray that when I wake up later today, that the monster has ran away and the nice, happy preggo is back in her place.
Well Here's a Huge Update
2 months ago