Baby Steps

Remember the HUGE list of things I listed that still needed to be done 4 weeks ago? If no, you can review it HERE. Well, I finally started sticking my neck out there. With approximately 33 days left, and 25 days away from the milestone where we lost my Rosalynn, I made some BIG steps this past few days.

Today I purchased my first items that are non-returnable from a second hand mom sale. I got some GREAT deals and spent about 1/10th of the amount I would have buying full price at any of the baby stores. Last night Foster assembled the baby stroller we got at Rosie's baby shower. I think what helped me through this anxiety filled project, is it was absolutely hilarious to watch him. He finally broke down and started using the directions. Currently I am doing the one chore/preparation I have been DREADING.

I am at this moment washing all of the non-returnable clothes and the clothes from Rosie that I had already washed but have been sitting in storage for a year and a half. Why is this so hard? It was the last preparation I was doing before Foster and I headed to the hospital and found out she had passed. It is the ULTIMATE obstacle to overcome. So I decided to "rip off the band aid". I decided if I was going to do this, NOW is the time to. Ava has been such a good sport. She has been kicking and flipping and moving the whole time. I remember doing Rosie's laundry and feeling as if something was already wrong. That I was doing the chore for no reason. Today I have a little more hope, a little better feeling around the whole situation. I just pray and hope that this time around my beautiful baby girl gets to wear her clothes, and be wrapped in her blankets.

I have ALOT more to do, but I am starting with baby steps. Just as Ava will be making tentative steps, holding onto the furniture for stability in about a year, I am slowly taking steps in the right direction in preparation for her homecoming, and I am holding onto Foster and all of your support for the stability to make it through this last 33 days.