Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, New Friends and Old Friends

I had to take the time to make sure to post today because so far it has been a fun filled weekend, and I still have two days left.

Yesterday I had to go down south to pick up a bridesmaids dress for a wedding I am in in September. I had ordered one a couple weeks ago from a different store, but unfortunately they could not guarantee that it would be in on time. I started to get nervous, because they said it wold come in the week of the wedding. I have been trying to lose weight, and although it is coming off slowly, it is still coming off, and was afraid I would need to get the dressed altered for the ceremony. However, if the dress did not make it here till a couple days before, I would not have the time. So, I found a sample that was available for purchase and pickup immediately. I called the original store and canceled my order, and drove my happy butt down. It was a beautiful day for a drive. It was a perfect 76 degrees, the sun was shining bright, the clouds we a scattered through the brilliant blue sky, and it put me in a happy mood. I cranked up the radio and belted out along with the familiar lyrics. I assume people driving by thought I was crazy.

I reached my destination, saw the dress hanging behind the counter and tried it on. It fit perfect. I was thrilled. Until I looked down at the tag. Sure the dress was a little pricey, but the color said "Posie". I needed "American Beauty". I was hoping beyond hope that the company used some weird code for their color names, and I had not just driven two hours for nothing. Sure enough, when the shop attendant checked the swatches, the dress was NOT the color I needed. SO, I quickly logged onto Ebay and purchased a dress the bride had found as a back up in case this dress did not pan out. The Ebay dress is the right color, perfect size, and right fabric. She gave us choices on styles to pick, and although this is not one of the six original style, it is still a beautiful style, should compliment my figure nicely, and is approved by the bride.

Now, I know I sound like a irresponsible bridesmaid. I waited until the last minute to order my dress. Yes, I admit to it, I could have gone out a few weeks earlier and taken care of it. However, I got the email about our dresses 3 days before losing my daughter. Really, I went back and looked t my emails. I read the first email from the bride explaining the different styles and where we could order them on April 17th. Of course, after Rosie's passing, not only was I too sad to really do anything, I was so disgusted with my body to even want to try on clothes. The bride understands. She said if it was anyone else, she may be a little annoyed, but everything is taken care of, so it all worked out. AND the dress was half the price it would have cost me in the store, of course I lose my deposit on the original dress, but it was still cheaper in the end.

The trip to was not a total waste. When I first started blogging, I was really hesistant to start reading other people's blogs. I almost felt I was being a voyeur peaking in on other their lives and most intimate feelings. It was weird though, because I was putting it all out there too, so does that make me an exhibitionist also? When I finally started following other people, there was one in particular that I really enjoyed reading. She had inspired me, because although I thought my situation was bad, she carried her daughter KNOWING that she would not survive, and hoping that she may get a few minutes or, God willing, hours with her daughter and be able to hold her as she passed. I cannot imagine the strength it takes to choose to carry a baby knowing you would say goodbye. She is pregnant with her rainbow baby, and just a very inspiring individual. We got to talking through email, and sure enough, she lives about an hour away from me. So, I got to meet her. I won't lie, it was kind of awkward at first. When you have been reading about a person for a few months, know a TON about them, but have never had a phone conversation or seen them face to face, I felt like that creepy voyeur again. However, after talking for a while, it got easier, and I actually ended up enjoying myself and hopefully making a new friend. She was just as sweet as her blog has portrayed her.

Then, when I returned home, Foster and I got to spend and amazing night with the Princes. One of my really good friends, whom I have NOT been spending nearly enough time with, was due to be induced tomorrow. As I have mentioned before, I am VERY happy for this couple, they are going to make wonderful parents. However, I did not want to respond the same way I did to Mrs. Prince going into labor, so I was bound and determined to stay away from facebook and the updates, and keep myself busy. Because not only was she bringing home a baby, but bringing home a girl. Once again, girls are still difficult for me. I held and loved on Baby Prince last night, but girls are still too sad for me.

When I returned from my semi-productive trip, I made some home made bruschetta and Foster and I headed over. I played with Baby Prince for a while. I found that if I bounced him on my knee, he would be calm and content. As soon as I would stop, he would start scrunching his face as if he was going to scream if I did not continue with the spatial disorientation. So this continued for a good half an hour before he finally relaxed and fell right to sleep in my arms. Foster got a glimpse of what it would be like if we had had Rosie. He had to hand me food, my drink, and anything else I needed, because I did not want to wake a sleeping baby.

Mr. and Mrs. Prince were wonderful hosts. Mr. Prince made some amazing fare to include venison sirloins and venison chili for the hot dogs. I tried not to sway too much from my diet but I had to sample SOME of his hard work. Foster and Mr. Prince seemed to be trying to out do each other in drinking beer. It was my turn to be the understanding and patient wife. It was pretty entertaining to watch and listen to the two of them. Half the time they didn't make sense, and the other half of the time they were being ridiculous. Mr. Prince fell asleep on the patio and I wonder if Mrs. Prince was able to wrangle him upstairs to bed. Foster made it home, barely, and made it up to bed, barely, and now feels like utter crap. I warned him, because I was in similar circumstances last Sunday morning, but I guess he didn't want to listen.

Overall it was an amazing day, and I am completely ready for another wonderful day with friends. Today we are celebrating Anne's (Bride #1) last week of being single with a bachelorette party. I am sure I will have great pictures and a great story to tell tomorrow, IF I don't feel like utter crap:-) Until tomorrow.......