My Family!!

My Family!!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Time for Bed..Another Night in the ER

I am exhausted, so this will be a little shorter than usual. Once again I sit with my mind reeling after an intense night in the ER. Unfortunately, a glass of wine is not on my diet, and I thought a rum and diet was a little extreme for eight in the morning, even if it is considered my night time. It is amazing how one patient can change the whole feel of the night.
We were having a pretty busy night, but at the same time were having our usual joking, easy going banter amongst the staff. We were getting the usual bellyaches, earaches, buttaches, etc. coming in the door, until about two a.m. All of that changed when we got a call over the medic box announcing a cardiac arrest en route to our facility. I wasn't paying attention to the details coming over the radio, so was shocked when I saw what rolled in. A twenty something woman lay lifeless on the gurney as the paramedics were performing CPR and other life saving procedures. I was sure it was one of our usual O/D patients, but was sadly mistaken. I cannot go into a bunch of detail, but she had just been at the doctor that morning and all labs and tests said she was fine but 12 hours later she was on her death bed and no one was able to figure out why. the doctors and nursing staff did an amazing job at trying to keep her alive. They brought her back numerous times, but ultimately she passed. This is the first death I have had to witness since Rosie's passing, and it was definitely getting to me. She is only a year older than me. It is crazy to think how life can change in the blink of an eye.
The doctor brought the family back to see her and say their goodbyes and it was in that moment that I had to step outside and get away. When the mother walked into the room, that all to familiar sound came immediately after. It was the sob from a broken heart. A cry so distinct that you can feel the pain and and anguish as it leaves her lips. The sound of a mother mourning her child's death. I had let out this same cry in the hospital room when they told me Rosie's heart had stopped. Unfortunately, I know what was running through her head. She was in total disbelief. This is not natural for her child to die before her, and she would gladly give her life for her child to live again. She will forever go around with a lump in her throat and a hole in her heart that will never heal. This mothers existence and life have been changed forever and she is going to have to learn to function in this world without her daughter.
I started to cry and had to step outside to compose myself. I felt a true sorrow for this woman I had never met, this mother who lost her daughter.
When I returned to the ER, I picked up my cell phone and had missed a text Foster had sent me earlier in the night,"I love you my love." It is amazing to me how he says the right thing at the right time, or in this case, I opened the text at the right time. These are the moments at work when I wish he was around, and his text made me realize that I am in his thoughts as much as he is in mine. I love you too my love.

No comments:


Template by