My Family!!

My Family!!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Money Cannot Buy Happiness

I was at drill for the National Guard today and for the first time I actually used "my daughter died" to get some one to shut up." Instantaneously I felt bad about it. The conversation started out innocent enough. We were talking about the accommodations the Army provides for the soldier who travel over 60 miles to be at drill for the weekend. It is this dinky hotel where they actually make the patrons change their own bed sheets. The air conditioners don't work, their are roaches and other creepy crawlies. I was explaining how much I was relieved I only live 10 minutes away from our unit and I get to sleep in my own bed. I also said that I have frequently offered my unit members to come and stay in our five bedroom home to save them from the roach motel. The sergeant I was talking to started teasing me saying I must be rich to have a five bedroom home, and kept going on and on. I tried my hardest to tell him that was not the case, that our home is large, but by no means the mansion he was trying to make it out to be. It is a four bedroom home, originally built in the 70s, that has a full finished basement that adds to the bedrooms. The basement has a full bedroom, a smaller room, and a big rec room. However, no matter how much I tried to convince him that Foster and I were not rich, things kept "proving" ME wrong. He saw my ring, which is a beautiful, a little over a karat, and sparkles from a mile away, "You better not go into a body of water with that thing on, you will sink right to the bottom." Then an officer Foster and I know came in and started talking to me, asking how Foster was doing. So the sergeant found out Foster was an officer, which means he makes more money than an enlisted soldier. He continued to tease me about being rich.

This went on and off for about an hour, and I continued to refute his claims, but the mocking went on. Then, while I was talking to another soldier from around lake Erie, I was explaining to him that my family is thinking about all going in on a vacation house on a Lake and Erie was on the list. The sergeant overheard this conversation and interjected his thoughts on the matter, "Well I guess when you are rich, everything is perfect and you can buy your happiness."

This is when I snapped in response, "Actually Sergent, NO, money cannot buy all happiness, my husband and I lost our daughter April 20th, so our life is NOT perfect."

"Oh, my, um, ah..." he stammered, "I am sorry, I should just put my foot in my mouth now."

"So can we please stop with the money comments now?"

"Yeah, I am sorry, I guess I pushed it too far," he apologized.

I feel so bad. I am so ashamed that I could not just suck it up and deal with the teasing, but he had pushed me over the edge. I was able to take all of the teasing until his comment about money buying happiness. I would give every dime, every material possession Foster and I have to have my Rosie back.

1 comment:

lis said...

oh this post just made my heart break. i have been in a position similar to this and all i wanted to do was scream out what you did. good for you for being strong enough to do it.

i must say that i have used babyloss a time or two in the past, to get a call back from my doctor quicker or something like that, but i figure my girls would want me to have it easier. this life is so hard, especially now, that i can't imagine Rosie would feel any differently.

im so sorry you lost your beautiful baby girl.


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