So I am wondering how after 6 months of marriage and 3 years of being together, my husband just now tells me that I make a "kissy noise" that annoys him. Prior to the moment he told me it annoyed him, I was totally unaware I even made this noise. If I want a kiss, I pucker my lips and make the "kissy noise" towards him which is then his cue to kiss me. I know, probably a little weird, maybe even a little childish, but as I said, I never noticed it before last night. Now I find I can't keep myself from making the noise. I guess the "Kissy noise" is ingrained in me, a habit, some kind of kissing addiction that I have gotten so used to that I am going to have to go through detox or a 12 step program in order to break. I am glad my darling husband so kindly did an intervention and pointed out that yes, I do have a problem. So, stage one, I admit I have the problem!
I am powerless over this addiction. I LOVE Foster's kisses, and want them as often as I can get them. I want them any where, any time I can get them. I was in front of my dad, and all of the sudden I find myself leaning in, making THE noise, wanting a kiss, "Honey! Your father is watching!" he exclaimed. But I didn't care who was around. Before meeting Foster, I was the poster child for anti-PDA, but now I can't help myself. Those perfect lips call me, and mine respond back with THAT noise.
Step two, I do believe there is a higher power that can restore me to sanity. Now HE just has to help me overcome this addiction. I vow to pray every night that He heals my lips and helps me find the strength to stop the "kissy noise."
At this point, I think I will jump to step seven. Don't judge, I like to do things MY way. I will humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings. I don't think I am a bad kisser, I have never had complaints, but my shortcoming is I am an annoying kisser.
Step eight, make a list of all the people I have wronged and make amends. Well, this will be a little difficult. I am not sure if I still have all of my ex boyfriend's numbers. I could call them, and apologize for all of the annoying kissing they had to put up with, but how will I make amends? I highly doubt Foster would approve of me kissing old boyfriends without the "kissy noise" in order to make amends. Maybe I could send a kissing telegram. Do they have those?
Whew! Step nine says not to make amends if it will harm someone else. So since it would hurt my husband's feelings, I guess I am in the clear of kissing my ex boyfriends. Guess I will just send those telegrams.
Step ten, when you are wrong, admit it. Well, I am sure if I don't catch myself in the act, Foster will promptly remind me, and that is when I will promptly admit my mistake, and go in for a silent kiss.
Step 12, yes, I am skipping another step, mainly because I have nothing witty to say about step eleven. Step twelve, carry this message to other addicts. This blog is my way of reaching out to other annoying kissers. If you think you have a problem, just message me and I will help you through the twelve step program. I will gladly be your sponsor and help you stay on the wagon.
Now that I have mastered the twelve (minus a few) step program, I am well on my way to being the perfect kisser! Hopefully my husband will appreciate this, and kiss me when ever and where ever I want, even if my father is watching.
Well Here's a Huge Update
2 months ago