With One Voice

I decided to name my Sunday Blog "With One Voice". Foster was not thrilled by the name until I explained it to him. The reasoning behind it is I only have one voice. I can talk all day long about my feelings, God, and the lessons I learn through my experience, but with a little bit of prayer, maybe one of you many followers will take the lessons I have learned and apply them to your lives. In other words, I have made a difference with one voice!

Today I had so much to focus on, I had to choose just one topic. Foster and I decided to attend an after mass monthly lecture. Once a month our church will be holding a special lecture series called "Refreshing Catholicism". We were a little afraid that it would be a version of RCIA for current Catholics, but it was not at all! In fact, we actually got a lot out of it.

This week's discussion was "Who is God". It was a reflection of who God is portrayed as in the bible, and who he is in our lives. It really got me thinking who God has become to me. Going through RCIA with Foster really helped me renew and become closer to my religion, however, the loss of my daughter has renewed my faith and strengthened my relationship with God.

Why is it so many people turn away from God when bad things happen? Unfortunately, we are such an entitled society. We feel like the things that go good in our lives we owe to our own hard work, or because we "deserve them", and many people forget to give thanks. However, too often, when things don't go as planned, or our prayers go unanswered, we blame God and ask questions like "Why me?" or "What did I do so wrong to deserve this?"

Honestly, ask yourself when was the last time you thanked God for something good that happened? Did you thank him the last time you got a promotion at work, or did you attribute it to your talents and hard work? Did you thank him the last healthy check up you had at the doctor's office or did you attribute it to your healthy eating and work out regiment? Now think to the last time something horrible happened in your life; for instance, the last loved one who died. You were no doubt distraught. Did you ask God why? Maybe you even got a little mad at Him because you didn't understand why He didn't answer your prayers when you begged for Him not to take your loved one's life. Too often it seems that we blame the bad on Him.

Newsflash, death is a part of living. Every one of us is going to die at some point. Unfortunately, some die earlier than others. Life is NOT fair, and bad things happen to good people. In all truth, I wouldn't have it any other way. If life was all peaches and cream, it would be no fun! If my heart had never been broken, I would not be aware of how amazing my husband is and how blessed I am to be truly loved for who I am. If I had never failed at something in life, I would not know how amazing it feels to accomplish something I have worked hard at. Without the trials in life, the triumphs would not be as sweet.

How does this explain who God is? To me, God is like my parent. Yes, I know, we call Him the "Father", but I mean more of a personal relationship. He is more like a "Daddy". He loves each and every one of us. We are His children, and just like our parents here on earth, He celebrates in our achievements and swells with pride, but He also grieves in our tribulations right along with us. I honestly believe that He does not like to see us suffer. He does not like to see us in despair. Remember, He is the one who started The Garden of Eden, which was paradise where no one hurt or felt pain. Unfortunately, it was too much of a good thing and human nature took over, and He now gives us the free will to live as we want to.

On that note, as a Dad, he hates to see how badly we treat each other. I have to say that I used to wonder why people who are addicted to crack and beat their children are blessed to have little ones, but Foster and I had our first born taken from us. It is not my place to judge. God loves the crack heads, the thieves, and the murderers as much as he loves the priests and nuns and the best of the best. Just because our children mess up, does not make us love them any less. We have hope that they will find the right road and make the right choices, and it is never too late. God feels this way about all of us. I admit that I have made some really bad decisions in my life, but I am sure he just rolled his eyes at my mistake, forgave me, and hoped that I would learn and take the right path the next time. I know this is what my mom does every night, and I feel this is how God is.

I wish I could say something that would make the pain of loss and failure easier, but there is nothing. A wise friend of mine told me that it is in those darkest times that we find God and are able to do the best healing.

I just hope that in the end, I have done whatever it is "Dad" wanted me to do through this experience and learned whatever "lesson" I am supposed to walk away with.