Six months, wow! At times it feels like a lifetime ago, but then again, it feel like it just happened yesterday. The pain is sometimes too raw, especially if I am tired or stressed. Time is flying by way too fast, and yet the world came to a screeching halt for me 6 months ago today.
Thank you all for your love and support. The messages on facebook, the calls and texts. I appreciate them more than you know. It made my fear from this morning dissipate. The people that matter have not forgotten, and hopefully never will.
I also have one problem I want a little advice on. Foster told me today that he told one of his guys that we would come over on Sunday and visit their new baby girl. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for them, but I have a problem with this. First of all, it took me almost 2 months to visit my friend Mrs. Davey (from this post) and her new daughter. I have known her for close to six years, and love her to pieces. Also, the Eastwood's (also from the same post) baby I saw when they were still in the hospital because she knows the feeling of loss and had a very complicated pregnancy. I have known her since before high school, and was rooting her and Baby Eastwood along for 9 long months. There is a reason it was easy to visit them. Not only are they amazing friends, but they let me talk about Rosalynn, and ask questions like "How are you REALLY doing?" and REALLY want to know the answers. I am not close to this couple on Sunday. I don't want to see their baby, I don't want to hold their baby, I don't want to fake that everything is ok. I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable if we start talking about pregnancy pains and adventures like all ex-pregnant women do. I do not know how comfortable they will be with me in their homes. I just don't want to go. Foster insists that I do. He seems to think that it will be "good" for me, and does not see my side of the issue. I understand he wants to support one of his guys, and I will gladly cook some food for them, but please, please, please do not make me go with you. I partially wonder if he wants me to go because he wants my support as well. He may need me to be there for him so he will be strong. What do you think?