Spiritual Sunday: Bread of Life

As I have mentioned NUMEROUS times (only about every Sunday), Foster and I feel close as a family at mass on Sundays. We also are usually struck with a sadness we do not feel embarrassed about when we are there. The sermons and readings usually somehow correlate with what is going on in our lives at the moment, and almost always remind us of Rosie. However, after the sermon, the readings and the Eucharistic prayers, I thought this would end up being the very first Sunday since April 20th that would NOT remind me of my daughter. Of course I thought of her, there isn't a moment that goes by that I do not think about her, but I feel like she always makes her presence known in church, like she wants to remind us that she is looking out for us. I look forward to this every Sunday.

I was a little disappointed that my little girl didn't come to "visit" mommy and daddy today, but figured maybe she realizes we are healing, and don't need constant reminders anymore, because we just know she is there. Well, I gave up on her too soon. Before I even got the chance to open the hymnal to see what song would be played as we took communion, I heard the opening notes played on the piano and my eyes welled up with tears. They were playing the same song that we played while we took communion at her funeral "The Bread of Life." I sang with all of my heart, as tears streamed down my face I tried to keep my voice as steady as possible, because I felt as if she wanted me to sing, that she was making it a point to remind me that she IS still here with us. Foster rubbed my back and scooted just a few more inches closer. As I knelt in front of the miracle of the Eucharist, preparing to receive the Body and Blood, I thanked God for once again showing me why I love Him so much, and why I love Rosie so much. We are NEVER alone, and our prayers WILL be answered, even if it is in the form of a song as a reminder.

There will always be four songs out of the hundreds in the missal that will forever hurt my heart: Bread of life, On Eagles Wings, Be Not Afraid, and Amazing Grace. However, from now on, I will belt them out to the best of my ability while the tears fall.

I do feel bad for the man sitting in front of me, because although I was not literally sobbing, the tears were in a constant stream and fell on the bench in front of us, so I am sure he now has a big wet mark on his butt from sitting in a pool of my tears.
Here is the song....who knew it could be found on YouTube?!?! He will raise me up on the last day, and when He does, I will be greeted by my beautiful Rosie.

Drunk Singing and Bringing the World together

I was listening to Pandora on my computer the other day. For those of you who may be technologically inept, or just not familiar with Pandora, it is an amazing application where you choose your favorite genre, song, or singer, and it will chose all of the music that is similar to and thinks that you will enjoy. I started out with country, listening to the musical talents of Lady Antebellum, George Straight, and Rascall Flatts. Then I switched it to rock/heavy metal with Seether, Three Days Grace, and Linkin Park. I realized that neither of these genres were what I was in the mood for. Then it dawned on me, OLDIES!

There is such a nostalgic feeling I get when I listen to band such as Fleetwood Mac, Journey, CCR. I mentioned before that growing up with JJ, our parents consistently had this kind of music playing in the background of every family event. James Taylor, Tracey Chapman, and The Beatles started to feel like close friends. Then I realized as I listened to "Don't stop Believin" By Journey, that these bands have followed me through my young adult life also. Certain songs like "Don't Stop Believin", "Brown Eyed Girl", "Pour Some Sugar on Me", "Benny and the Jets", "Piano Man" seems to make an entire bar join together in a God-awful rendition of group karaoke and uncoordinated flash mob dancing. Complete strangers put arms around each other's shoulders, swaying back and forth while we beg along with Billy Joel, "Sing us a song Piano man, sing us a song tonight," or jump around and accidentally spit all over our neighbors as we belt out, "B-B-B-Benny and the Jets" while making up the rest of the words to the song. It is as if for those three and a half minutes everyone forgets about their differences, ignores the troubles going on in the world, come together in drunk, not so harmonious voices FEEL. They feel happiness, nostalgic, maybe even sadness, but they feel.
I have always turned to music regardless of the occasion. If I am mad or running I listen to heavy metal like Marylin Manson, lately I have been listening to a lot of country and christian music for obvious reasons. If I am in a happy, calm mood, I listen to the old rock and roll. I love music and no matter where I am, what is going on, I can always turn to my old friend. I can't say it any better than one of the all time best music advocates and artists, Bob Marley:

“One good thing about music, when it hits- you feel no pain”
and
“Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.”~Author Unknown