With Once Voice and an Update

November is upon us. It is the month that All Saints and All Souls days are celebrated. There are numerous masses and services in remembrance of the ones who have preceded us in death. The sermon on Sunday was interesting. The priest started talking about heaven and hell and "purgatory". It was once believed by the church that babies that were not baptized before death were either in hell, or in limbo which is the outskirts of hell because although they have not committed any worldly sins, they are still with original sin.

There are quite a few issues with this theory. First of all, although the church binds itself with God's sacraments, God himself is not bound by His sacraments. essentially, he wants all of his children to be saved and join Him in Heaven for eternity "the great mercy of God, who desires that all men should be saved) (1 Tm 2:4), so what makes ANYONE think that God would punish a child to an eternity in limbo is beyond me.  to top it all off, God watched how Jesus embraced the children "But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” (Luke 18 16-17). I am sure Jesus did not mean "Let all the little baptized children come to me". Thankfully, this view was disregarded. Prior to the second Vatican Council, although limbo for babies has long been used in theological teachings, has no clear foundation of revelation, no biblical reference of this place. Since then,  Pope John Paul II wrote a document that was released in 2007 entitled "The Hope of Salvation for Infants Who Die without Being Baptized" questioning the teachings of babies in limbo, and arguing against it. I am sure you wonder why it took so long for the church to address this subject. Pope John Paul II decided to address it because pregnancy and infant loss was skyrocketing do to environmental hazards, and IVF. Multiple babies increase risks, and sadly many families have felt the pain of multiple losses at once. The church wanted guidance on how to help grieving parents, so PJPII did just that.  Pope Benedict is the one who released the document during the International Theological Commission in 2007, and now will always be known as the Pope who "Closed Limbo".   You can read the whole document here.

I felt as if the priest was looking right at Foster and I through his whole sermon. He did not go into as much detail as I just did with the history, but he came to the same conclusion, that my daughter, along with all the other angel babies are in heaven. that there is no reason for us to think otherwise.

I know I mentioned my habit of looking at the songs before hand in order to prepare myself for the potential of tears during a song from Rosie's funeral. Once again, this week, one of her songs were played, "The Bread of Life". This time, it not only got to me, it got to Foster. He mentioned he didn't know why it hit him this time. I am sure it was a combination of the sermon and the song. I did cry, but I am getting used to the fact that almost every service in the past 6 months I have shed a tear for my daughter, and I am okay with it.  I was just happy and blessed that I was able to attend mass with Foster this week. I had drill this week, and unless I am released in time on Saturday evening, it is nearly impossible for me to attend church on drill weekends.

Drill was interesting this weekend. On Friday we had our first medical and administrative day (SRP) for the deployment. It was a very heavy day for me. the first 2 hours consisted of going between providers and case management personnel rehashing the loss, the c-section, and my emotional and mental state currently. When I was through the medical aspect, I was then faced with more challenges on the administrative portion. When Foster and I were married, we went to the appropriate office to have me put into the system as his wife and under his insurance (DEERS). Since we are dual status, I asked them while we were there if we needed to put him under me. They informed us that he would automatically be under me since I was under his profile. I should not have trusted them. When I got to the DEERS table to make sure that he was under me in the system, they informed me that he wasn't and that I would need his ID and birth certificate, his SS card, fingerprints, DNA, firstborn child....just kidding. I informed them of what the office had told me, and they pretty much told me the office had lied. I was angry. Angry is an understatement. the poor Cadet that was breaking the news to me was the undeserving victim to my anger. I decided Foster and I would have to come back on Monday and take care of everything. I went to the next station. The Life insurance (SGLI) station. I was changing all the information so that in the even of my death, Foster would be the recipient of my SGLI

"Good! Maybe they will actually listen to you and get something accomplished," I said. So I waited. When he arrived, he brought me some Subway for lunch so I didn't have to eat an MRE since I was CERTAIN was NOT on the WW diet. When we went back to DEERS, he handed them his military ID and Driver's License. they tried to tell him they couldn't do anything without his Birth Certificate.

"I know you did not make me come all the way in here for nothing," Foster claimed sternly.

"No, sir, I am sure there is a way around it," the Sergeant said. This is the exact reason I wanted him to come in  uniform. Before we knew it, they accessed all of his documents online off the system, transferred them under my name, and low and behold, I am officially married according to the Army, almost a year after the fact.

The weird thing, is this was officially the first time we have been in the same room in uniform together. It was so strange. I wanted to hug and kiss him when he came in the door, but it is inappropriate. I slipped a few times and called him "honey" or "sweetheart", and I am sure he didn't notice, but it is definitely not professional. Oh well, at that point, I was through being professional. It had been a rough day.

Luckily, Saturday was so much better. It was a typical drill of checking our vehicles, classes, and deployment information. This weekend I brought my new camera, and took pictures. We have a picture board in the hallway, and I noticed that a lot of the pictures contained soldiers that were no longer part of our unit, so I decided that had to change. Here are a few of the photos I took from Saturday:

 

Checking our trucks

 Getting ready to drive the trucks

 Me :-)

The geometrical building OUTSIDE of our rinky dinky building.

Goofin off.

Boys will be boys

It was really cold, and she really didn't want her pic taken. look at the evil eye she is giving me

Sunday came along, and while we were waiting for the NCOs ans Officers to get out of a meeting, first Sergeant asked me if I had brought my camera again. I left it at home, because we were having a change of command ceremony, and I figured the Army would have a photographer there to take pictures. I was mistaken. He told me to go home and get it, that I would not be standing in formation, but would be taking pictures of the Change of Command. 

Before the ceremony, I practiced with the lighting in the room. Unfortunately it is a huge building with really bad white fluorescent lighting. The walls are white, the floors are white, and VERY reflective. Luckily, I think I got some great shots. Before I show them to you, I am sure you want to know the update of me and the deployment. As right now I am still a No Go. My old commander is concerned about some right lower abdominal pain I have been having for the last few weeks. He wants my OBGYN to check it out. I can't get an appointment till January 7th, so I will be non-deployable until then. I am training as if I am going, and not going to get out of that mindset. I have learned that in the Army, you have to hope for the best and expect the worst. the best scenario would be I will go in on Jan. 7th and find out I am pregnant. I would be discharged, and not have to worry about the deployment. However, I am preparing my mind and body for the deployment, and the possibility of not coming home. Hope for the best, expect the worst, and if anything in between happens, I won't be disappointed.  

Formation prior to start of the ceremony

Outgoing Commander's Miracle grandson (story will be told sometime)

One of my favorite shots

One of my favorite shots in black and white

New Commander's first speech to our unit

Whole formation

1SG passing guide-on (flag) to outgoing Commander to represent his successful command of the company.

The new Commander passing the Guide-on back to 1SG to represent the importance 1SG's job is going to be in aiding the command of our unit.

Farewell cake and flowers for wife

Welcome cake and flowers for wife.

** Remember, all pictures are mine, and please do not take credit for them. you are more than welcome to ask to use them though:-)