Gender Reveal and Update: A Bit Anxious

If you missed the announcement on my facebook page, or don't happen to follow me, we did a sequel Short film to our pregnancy announcement video.

Needless to say, we are thrilled!!! Ava is so happy, and cannot wait to be a big sister. 

As for the anatomy scan. I can't believe it has been 3 weeks already!! For the most part everything looks ok. 

There was one point of concern. Babe has a marginal cord insertion just like Rosalynn had. 

What is a marginal cord insertion? 

Without boring you with all the medical jargon, a normal umbilical cord is inserted in the center of the placenta. In this case, the cord is inserted at the edge of the placenta. It happens in around 7% of pregnancies, usually when dealing with multiples. I guess I am just the lucky one who it has happened in 2/3 pregnancies. 

Of course this makes me incredibly anxious. I TRY not to think about it, but in the autopsy of Rosie's placenta, it was dead ON THE SIDE OF THE CORD INSERTION. Placentas dying towards the end of a pregnancy is not uncommon, but the center insertion allows the cord to draw from the rest of the healthy placenta. She didn't stand a chance because of the insertion point. 

According to the high risk doctor, it is a common occurrence, and and usually causes no issues. I begged her not to quote statistics and tell me everything SHOULD be ok. I am one of the people that makes a statistic a statistic.....I HAVE BEEN THE STATISTIC.

So what are we doing? Nothing different. We were already doing extra monitoring in the 3rd trimester, so we are just staying the course: U/S at 28 weeks and then every week at 30, then we have non stress tests starting at 30 weeks. Delivery at 35. 

Went in this past Weds, and baby still sounds great!! We get another u/s this next friday, and plan on bringing Ava, so she can see her little sister again:-) 

Anatomy Scan Tomorrow!!!

This past week has been the time in pregnancy that I wish I didn't know everything I do. Being in the baby loss community, and photographing babies who have a terminal diagnosis, I have seen and heard it all.

In my pregnancy groups, everyone is so excited about finding out the sex. Of course I am excited about that, but if it were up to me, I would wait till birth to find out (but I will explain this later). Instead of being focused on the sex, I am praying for a healthy baby.

This whole week I have had nightmares about the scan tomorrow. So far, my baby has had Limb Body Wall complex, no kidneys, CCHD, hydrops, and a stroke in utero. (Do not Google these things if you don't know what they are, some will scare you). Like I said, I have seen and heard to much!! I know the statistics are in my favor to have a healthy baby, but my anxiety and history of loss has me terrified. Please, if you think about it around 11:30 tomorrow, say a little prayer that everything is OK:-)

As for the sex. The reason I am finding out tomorrow is kind of morbid. We kept Rosalynn a surprise. We wanted to find out the day she was born. Well, I found out I was carrying a girl the day we found out her heartbeat stopped. The one thing I regret is she never heard my voice call her by name. So for Ava and this baby, I needed to find out so that if anything happened to them, they would hear me call them by name even if only ever through my belly.

I warned you: morbid. Ahhh how I wish I was naive through pregnancy again!!

Unfortunately for all of you, you won't know the sex of the baby for about another  two weeks. We need to film and edit the pregnancy reveal video. Hopefully Foster, Ava and I are able to keep the secret;-) lol

Past the Halfway Mark!!!

It is so strange having as close to a "normal" pregnancy as possible. I haven't written much because, well, there isn't much going on. As of today, I am past the half way mark in my pregnancy!! Delivery date set for May 25th, which puts that 17 weeks, 2 days away, and I am officially 17weeks, 5 days today:-)

The funny thing is, we started planning for our October trip to Disney for Ava's 5th birthday, and it has taken my mind off of being pregnant, which I think is helping the time go a lot faster!!

I have felt slight movements. I can feel "FitzPippa" pushing when he/she don't like how tight my waistband is, if I am too far on my belly while laying down, and when Ava sits on my lap and puts too much weight on my belly.
We find out the 5th what we are having, and going to have the anatomy scan!!! Prayers for a healthy baby!!!




Symptoms: Nausea still first thing in the morning if I don't eat within the first 30 mins of being awake.  But for the most part, the majority of 1st trimester symptoms have eased up. Some heartburn if I eat spicy foods.

Food cravings/aversions: Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!! YUMMMMMM

Gender: next friday we find out if we are having a Fitz or a Pippa
Belly button in or out: Still in 

Stretch marks: TONS of old ones from Rosalynn and Avaleen, Really can't tell if there are new ones. I LITERALLY look like a zebra from my 2 girls. 

What I miss: sleeping without getting up 15 times to pee:-) 

What I am looking forward to: feeling stronger kicks and movements!! Next friday to find out the gender!!!

I will do a few more gender prediction tests before Friday...just for fun:-) 

HELLO 2nd Trimester!!

Wow!! Got really busy through the holidays!!
Christmas was amazing, spending time with family, resting, taking a break from work, spending extra time with Ava. It was so mice, I didn't want reality to start back up today.

I am OFFICIALLY in the SECOND TRIMESTER!!!  This past Wednesday I hit 14 weeks. Another milestone passed. It is a big step for most moms. The risk of miscarriage goes down, some moms start feeling baby move, the heartbeat becomes easier to pick up the heartbeat on doppler, etc. I live my pregnancies one milestone at a time, celebrating a new day, a new occasion in the pregnancy. Thanking God for another day/week/month with this sweet baby!!

It has been a little rough, because I was HOPING the symptoms would start easing up. Instead, I still throw up almost every day, and the migraines have started back up. I am trying to figure out what is causing them: hormones? certain foods? bad sleeping position? I have a chiropractic apt coming up, a massage apt next week, and TRYING to stay away from drugs to help them. I have been using peppermint oil which has been helping a LITTLE bit, but they are still pretty debilitating. Migraines are no joke, and I have always felt bad for my friends who suffered chronically from them, and this is why. It put me OUT. I can't play with Ava, can't be on my computer for work, barely want to talk to anyone, and have to stay away from lights:-(

I also started a "diet" (more eating habits) that is supposed to level out my blood sugars. Since headaches can be a sign of diabetes. The new eating schedule should help maintain my glycemic index. Hopefully this will help me feel better, but ALL I have craved this pregnancy is carbs: cereal and peanut butter sandwiches!! lol. (sweet cravings point towards girls right lol;-)

ANY suggestions will be taken into consideration, so please, lay it on me.

Hope everyone had an amazing Christmas season, and spent quality time with family, since that is truly what is most important!!!

12 Week Appointment and First MFM Meeting

As the U/S tech prepared the wand my heart started pounding. I always get so nervous that there won't be a heartbeat. But sure enough, a few seconds, and there it was!! Flickering away!! Baby jumped and and moved all over the place. It still blows my mind how much detail is seen when baby is only 2 inches long. Big forhead just like Ava, skinny arms and legs with hands and feet. It was hanging around upside down when we first started watching, so we got ot wait a while until he/she decided to lay on their back so the tech could get the measurements for the trisomy testing.

So far all the major issues that could be picked up this early are in the clear. Baby has a brain, all arms and legs, etc:-) The neck and nose measurements point towards no Trisomy problems. Next in depth scan is on Feb 3rd (where we will also find out the sex.

NOW.....you know me, I have all sorts of tests and theories on sex prior to finding out. I had the tech zoom in a bit to examine the "nub". She says she is really good at guessing gender with it. So she was 85-90% we are having a............

You will have to wait and see;-) LOL. (Adam and I are planning the gender reveal sequel to the pregnancy announcement). And we will confirm for sure sex here in a couple weeks.

I will post a picture, and you are all welcome to guess if you are good at reading nubs;-)

So after talking with the High Risk Doc, here is what we know, and our plans for this pregnancy:

Looking back at old labs, I was FOUR POINTS from having pre-eclampsia with Ava (My #s were 296 and Pre-E is 300). I turned in my 24 hour urine for analysis the day we gave birth to her. So the odds are if given a few more days, I would have developed Pre-E with her. In order to help prevent this from happening again, I have been put on a low dose aspirin, and will be getting a baseline 24 hr urine now.

We already did a gestational diabetes test at 10 weeks and I tested negative. But because I had it with Ava, we will be testing again around 18 weeks, then again at 24 weeks.

I will have an U/s every 4 weeks between now and 28 weeks, then every week to monitor amniotic fluid levels, since that was our reason for delivering Ava so early.

We will start non stress tests around 28-30 weeks twice a week.

DELIVERY AT 35 weeks (End of May).

I might as well set up a cot at my doctor's office;-) lol

I thank God every day that I have a team that is truly willing to do EVERYTHING possible to have this baby here and alive.

Here is my adorable, tiny babe:

Nerves are Setting In: 12 weeks

12 weeks:
Symptoms: Nausea in the morning with vomiting most mornings. Exhaustion, sore boobs, and need to pee ALL THE TIME. My gums have started bleeding again while brushing (I had this issue with both girls)

Food cravings/aversions: The problem is nothing sounds good. I eat for my health and the baby's, but i am having no real cravings, and I will cook something, then only take a few bites. 

Gender: Won't know for a while, but finally have names picked out: Fitzgerald Rose or Philippa Rose

Belly button in or out: Still in 

Stretch marks: TONS of old ones from Rosalynn and Avaleen, Really can't tell if there are new ones. I LITERALLY look like a zebra from my 2 girls. 

What I miss: My wedding rings. I had to take them off a lot earlier this time. I miss wine and sushi. lol but those things are easy to give up when you think of the end result. 

What I am looking forward to:
The scan tomorrow to see little bit is ok, and thriving. 

SOOOOOO close to the end of the first trimester! I know we have seen this babe 3 times, twice with a strong heartbeat, but I get soooo nervous before each ultrasound. Tomorrow we go in for the 12 week scan.The one where they take measurements to decide baby's risk for Downs Syndrome and other Trisomy disorders. 

Of course genetic issues are a worry. I help with a WONDERFUL ministry that assists perinatal hospice pregnancies (fatal diagnosis pregnancies) Sufficient Grace. I have seen it all. I am ALL too aware of all the problems that can arise. Neural Tube defects, anomalies there are no cures for, heart and kidney defects. UGH! Sometimes I wish I DIDN"T know so much. 

But then there is the fear that they will put the wand on my stomach and there is no HB. I have unfortunately heard those words when gestationally the odds were in our favor. This past week there have been NUMEROUS girls in my support group go in for their 12 week scan and baby had passed.

We get to meet with the High Risk doctor tomorrow as well and discuss the care plan. I am excited about this, and will update you all when we have information. 

Please just send prayers for peace in my heart, that baby is ok and healthy, and that we make it to the next milestone (2nd trimester). 

"6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,

present your requests to God. 

7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

What is in a Name?!?! Boy and Girl Name Revealed!!

Oh what is in a name? It is a HUGE decision a parent has to make for their child. Unless they go through the legal process of changing it, a child has to live with their name for THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. ----No Pressure;-)

Foster and I put a lot of thought into the names we choose. We want them to be strong names for adults, but have a cute nickname for when children.

Rosalynn Patricia (Liam David had she been a boy): We wanted an Irish name, but I have ALWAYS loved my sister's middle name (Rose). Even though she HATED IT! Patricia is my mother's name. Rose in Gaelic is "Roshin", or "my little Rose", but the English translation is Rosaline. We liked Rosalynn better:-) Nickname: ROSIE

Liam we just really liked, and being the gaelic shortened version of "William", it means "Protector". Fitting for the oldest son.

Avaleen Rose (Would have been a Declan Rose if a boy); OBVIOUS where we got the middle names from.
Avaleen is the pheonetic version of the Gaelic name Aibhlinn, but i figured NO ONE would know how to properly pronounce it, so we spelled it phonetically. It means "Much Prayed for Child" Which if you followed this blog through the pregnancy with her, you know she was VERY much prayed for by all!!

Declan Rose: Liam had started to really take off as a popular name, so we opted to change the boy's name. Since I didn't give Foster a choice on the girl's name, I let him choose the boy's. This was before Revenge ever aired, and he chose it because there was a rugby player with the name. LOL. I looked up the meaning: Man of prayer, Full of goodness. I loved it:-) And although Rose was the middle name, "Declan Rose" had a very masculine, strong sound to it. My family wasn't THRILLED with the name at first, but then it grew on everyone. I STILL love it, but thank you Revenge for making it the fastest rising name for boys in 2012-2015.

So what are we naming this little one? Well if she is a girl, she will be named after my Granny who Rosalynn is buried with.

Granny and I were EXTREMELY close. She was my soulmate, my best friend, my right hand woman. We were two peas in a pod. I have always wanted to name a girl after her, BUT she HATED her name. She threatened me that if I ever named  a daughter after her, she would haunt me till the day I died. Not only did she hate her name, she HATED the nick name everyone called her. BUT thanks to one very famous British sister, I found an appropriate nickname that Granny would have LOVED.

Philippa Rose: Phillippa was Granny's name, and there was a whole story behind how she received it. Her friends called her Phil. She HATED both. But THANK YOU Pippa Middleton!! If anyone wasn't aware, her real name is Philippa. So when I read that in People magazine, I was about 7 months pregnant with Ava. I WANTED to change her name sooooo bad, but had already become attached to Avaleen. So I vowed over 4 years ago, that if we had another girl, we would name her Phillippa, and call her Pippa for short.

Foster and I had SUCH a hard time picking a name for a boy. We loved Philip in honor of my Granny, I don't think we plan on having anymore children, because it is SOOOOO difficult on me. With so many losses, and hard pregnancies, I am not sure I can go through it again. But we haven't decided if we are going to make it permanent. If my docs advise after 3 c-sections that it is unsafe for me to have more, we will make it permanent, and he will be named Philip David. If they say we can have more, we will see, and then I don't want to use Philip, because if the next one is a girl, she will obviously be Phillippa. So we had to have another name lined up. We went back and forth, back and forth. But FINALLY settled on a GREAT name!! I actually love it, and it makes me excited to have a boy. (I get excited when I have a name picked out, but am anxious for the sex I don't have a name for until then).

Fitzgerald (middle name TBD: Rose is top contender): We would call him Fitz for short!! I LOVE IT!! LOL. I love it more than Liam and Declan!!

This is such a fun part of being pregnant, but truly a stressful part. I am glad Foster and I were able to agree on both names with no big arguments;-)

SO what will this baby be?!?!?! A Pippa or a Fitz?!?!? Now I am truly excited to find out!!!