Virginia Beach Mini Vaca! :-) Photos, photos and more photos!!

It has been a while since I have shared anything on my blog:-(  Part of it is because I stink at editing and uploading my personal photos because I am so busy with my client photos, and part of it is because I seriously have very little time to blog lately.  I hope to change this, and plan on getting caught up on personal images and posts. I recently went to visit my friend Laura, from Laura Enright Photography in Virginia Beach. Anyone looking for a Virginia Beach photographer, I HIGHLY suggest her!!

We took our 3 children to the Beach...the best part of having 2 friends who are photographers: two different perspectives of the same event:-) I LOVE the photos she and I captured of my baby girl and her two new friends!!! Here are just a few I took:

And here are a few of my favorites of Laura's:

We had so much fun, and I LOVE having some amazing photos to remember our trip by!!! Thank you so much Laura for the hospitality, and entertainment!!! :-)

Happy 3rd Heavenly Birthday Rosalynn Patricia!!!

Once again, my beautiful Rosalynn's birthday has come and gone. I am at least writing about it this time:-)

Foster, Ava and I headed out to the big, windy city of Chicago to celebrate and spend time with friends!! Let me tell you, April is COLD AND WINDY in Chicago!! Foster went to a Cubs game...by himself because it was raining and cold, and I was NOT making Ava sit through that. However we DID venture out in the cold to visit the aquarium...one of Ava's favorite places to visit. She had a blast sitting through Ice Age 4D, looking at the Sharks and Dolphins, and of COURSE the Jellies (my personal favorites).

Later that night, we met up with one of my best friends, and fellow photographer, Laura from Laura Enright Photography, and her family for dinner. The kids had a blast, and my husband and hers got a chance to bond and swap their military stories:-)

We had to leave and get to bed early, however, because we had an early morning full of pictures with Laura!!! She did a phenomenal job at capturing my family....all 4 of us!!

It was April 20th. We chose to have our photos done ON her birthday in tribute to Rosalynn. We picked up 3 balloons the night before to represent her 3 years in heaven. We took a few shots with the balloons included, and then I tied them to Laura's VERY heavy camera bag to make sure they didn't fly away while we took a few pictures without the balloons and before taking photos of us releasing the balloons. We were having fun, and then all of the sudden I turned around and the balloons were flying into heaven on their own!! I always knew my daughter was strong willed, but taking balloons that were securely tied to a heavy bag...now that takes some talent! LOL. Later in the week, when we arrived home, I asked Laura to check the time stamp on the photo she took of the balloon flying into heaven: 7:27AM.....Rosalynn was born @ 7:29AM....little stinker couldn't wait 2 more minutes:-)

we stopped into Panera for a little bit to get warmed up...it was 34 degrees out!! 

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE this little girl?!?!?!? 

 
So as if the balloons weren't enough of a sign that Rosalynn was all around us that day, my mom and her friends were releasing balloons later that night in Ohio, and just as they started flying through a clearing in the clouds, a shooting star streamed through the sky!! They all saw it, and all freaked out with excitement:-)

We had out own little birthday celebration that night with Joe and Joe, candle, cupcake and balloons all included:-)

Look how much Ava ADORES uncle Joe! :-)

Although ideally  we would be celebrating with screaming 3 year olds running around and cake, ice cream, and presents, I couldn't have asked for a better 3rd Birthday celebration for my heavenly daughter:-) I think we may need to make these trips a new tradition for her birthday....and we can send her balloons from different parts of the country each year....next year, I am thinking Virginia may be a good state (right Laura??) :-)

3 Days To 3 Years

I am writing this now, because in less than 12 hours Foster, Avaleen and I will be on our way to Chicago to celebrate the life of our sweet Rosalynn with friends, and I am afraid I won't have time to write on her birthday.

I think this time of year has so many mixed emotions, it is sometimes hard for me to put it into words. April 20th 2010 was the day that made me a mother, which should have been the happiest day of my life, but was the most devastating instead. There are days that it just feels like it happened yesterday, but in 3 days it will be 3 YEARS.

It baffles me that I would have a three year old running around the house. We would be planning what theme to have her birthday in, what outfit she was going to wear, and what flavor cake we would have Stephanie make for us (my amazing cake lady). But instead, my family is getting ready to spend some time together and honor her short life here on earth. It is heartbreaking. I miss her!

I have missed her since day one, and even though my blogs have gotten fewer and farther between, it is not because I miss her any less. I have just immersed myself in the gifts that Rosalynn, and God, has blessed me with.

My beautiful Avaleen, my "much prayed for child". She keeps my days filled with smiles and laughter, and she is getting more and more personality by the day!

And my photography. Rosalynn's death has reaped some amazing results. I would give it all up in a heartbeat to have her here on Earth, but EVERY DAY she touches and enriches someones life!! And that makes me a proud mom!!

I will be bringing on a Media guy to my business....this is his dream. And although I believe he would have still gotten the chance to eventually fulfill his dream, my daughter, who inspired me to start my photography, is helping him BECAUSE I have a great business I can incorporate him into. She has also touched a cupcake business owner as well!!  Every time I produce a photo that a parent loves, it is Rosalynn, because she is my muse, she is who I think about every time I pick up my camera! I can name quite a few people Rosie has touched...even if they don't know it;-)

So how are we celebrating Rosalynn's short life? I am finally getting in FRONT of the camera. Laura Enright, from Laura Enright Photography has offered to give Rosalynn the best birthday gift she could think of....family pictures of her mom, dad, and sister. We will be using red balloons, and bringing the Rosalynn bear to represent our first born. We will be enjoying a nice birthday meal with Laura and her family, and Joe and Joe:-)

Joe and Joe have been so kind as to put us up for a few days, so we can see the sites of Chicago, and enjoy a little family time. I LOVE Joe, she has such a tender heart. EVERY year on April 20th she has sent a balloon up to Rosalynn. This year she will actually get to take part in the festivities WITH us.

It still crushes that this is the type of celebration we are having instead of a bunch of 3 year olds running around my house, playing and laughing. It crushes me and does not get any easier each consecutive year. But it is how I know how to celebrate Rosalynn's short life.

Please, on April 20th, hug your children a little tighter, smile at someone, or even send up a red balloon, because it is one VERY special little girl's birthday:-) (and send me a pic if you do;-) erinfoster@irisheyesphotography.net.

Trying To Catch Up (picture overload!)

In keeping with the WANT to blog more often, I figured I would START to catch up a little on updating on Ava and Life in general!

Let's see. Ocotober was Ava' Birthday!! One whole year with the love of my life! We had a small party that included close family. I wanted to focus on Ava, and celebrating an amazing year with her with the people who loved her most.

Of COURSE I had to get a few 1 yr birthday pictures. It has become a tradition for me to incorporate a military picture into Ava's milestone photo shoots for dad, HOWEVER, this time we incorporated hunting:-) I think she still looks like a girl despite the boy clothes!

Then of COURSE we got some photos of her at her party!! :-)




Chowing down on her cake:

And my ADORABLE, HAPPY Godson Cole!! :-)

The day was a true testament to how much joy and Love Ava has brought into our lives. I truly feel like Ava has an  "old soul"....as if she understands, and is more aware than any 15 month old should...and I LOVE that little soul of hers. It brightens my life! :-)

Of COURSE Rosalynn was not forgotten during Ava's Birthday time:

We wanted to incorporate Rosie bear from Molly Bears into her Birthday session! 

I LOVE the one of Ava holding her:-) My two girls!

Unfortunately, being a photographer by profession, I RARELY get in front of the camera. But I made my husband take a photo of me and Ava for her 1 yr Birthday photos, and then my AMAZING assistant took the photo of our whole family! :-)

I know this is a little picture overload, but I feel like I have to play catch up on ALOT! lol. I leave you with two last images...the last one is evidence of Ava's ornery side!

One of Those Nights....

I should be editing. I should be sleeping. I should be doing sooo many different things right now, but I had an overwhelming urge to write.

I miss her. I miss my daughter, Rosalynn, so much it hurts. I am so blessed, I have a beautiful Rainbow daughter, a wonderful husband, and a job that I adore. But there is still something missing. And the worst part, I feel like life has been going so fast lately, that I don't take the time to miss her.

Does that make sense?

Don't read that wrong. I didn't say that I don't miss her, or that I don't think about her EVERY SINGLE DAY, but I used to take time for Rosalynn. To write about her, I used to spend hours on my support group needing support from others and reading other baby loss moms' stories, supporting them as they did me. I used to keep all of you updated about my feelings, life, highs and lows. But the last entry in this blog was in SEPTEMBER!! Almost 4 months ago.

I know, I know, I shouldn't give myself a hard time. Life moves fast, and there are a million and one things that need done through out the day. And God knows that the spare time I do have I like to spend with Foster and Avaleen. However, I miss my little corner of the internet. I want to get back into blogging. Where should I start back up? What would you like to know?

And don't you worry!!! Every single time I get behind my camera (which has been ALOT lately) Rosalynn is with me. She is the one that inspired me in my photography journey, and I feel her. I think that is why I love it so much! I FEEL her every time I pick up my camera. It is when I feel closest to her.

I actually got the biggest honor a couple weeks ago. I was able to use the talent Rosie inspired me to find to capture the only images a family will ever have of their son. They knew it was a terminal pregnancy, praying and hoping for even a few short moments with him. I was in the operating room to capture the only moments his soul was here on earth. And then I was with the family for 8 hrs, documenting the love, sorrow, and joy of that day.

Thank you Rosie for helping your mom find this gift...so I can use it to give to others.

I will leave you with this picture taken today of my little munchkin....she was being mommy's big helper in the studio:-) I love her with all of my being. I love her so much it hurts!

Night Terrors?

So, I will be posting about the most amazing wedding ever very shortly, but first I need some advice! I think Ava is having night terrors. It has only started recently, and they happen every once in a while. She "wakes up" flailing, crying, and screaming bloody murder, as if she is hurt or something. I have tried to wake her, comfort her, and make them stop, but all efforts are futile.
Now, I sleep walk and wake up screaming at least a couple times a week, and I have since I was younger, but it is so sad to see an eleven month old doing the same. Does anyone have experience with toddlers and night terrors? How do I prevent them, what do I do when she is having them?

Another Precious Child is in Heaven

I hate that this post is the reason I am writing on this blog today. I SHOULD be writing every day about the accomplishments of my beautiful rainbow baby. I should be keeping up with this blog more....but then something so heartbreaking hits me out of no where, and my fingers want to type...want to trickle the pain through the keys on my laptop and write it all out on this sacred space.

My family has gone through yet another tragedy. One of my cousins (not to be named for privacy reasons...and good luck guessing, I have over 50 cousins!!) Has suffered the most unimaginable loss a mother can endure. She gave birth to a precious baby who had already went to heaven. 

When you go through a loss like this, all you ever pray is that no one close to you ever has to endure the same pain. It stinks when any baby dies, but most of the women I know I met AFTER their babies died, not before. I never got to know who they were BEFORE their lives changed forever. I became part of their lives after that life altering day. I always say "There was the Erin before April 20th 2010, and there is the Erin after...and they are two VERY different people." And I met the "after women". But in this case, I knew the before....and am all too aware of the journey she and her family are about to embark on. The roller coaster ride known by the name "grief". The questions, the guilt, the pain...and I would NEVER EVER EVER wish this upon my worst enemy.....so the fact that it has happened to a family member......I have no words.

The Erin after April 20th, 2010 isn't naive and blissful anymore, I know babies can die now. The Erin after does not judge rude, stand-offish people, because now I realize I never know what they have endured in the last 24 hours. I live each moment as if it is my last, and never take one minute for granted with my beautiful daughter Ava. The Erin "after" still feels a pain in her heart that will never go away...a crippling, sharp pain, that although has gotten easier to bear with time, is still a constant companion. My first thoughts when I see or hear of a new pregnancy is STILL "don't get too comfortable, ANYTHING can happen".....horrible, I know, but an uncontrollable thought that creeps in without my control.

I cannot BELIEVE it has happened to my family again. I cannot believe that they are about to meet their "After September 6th" selves. All I want to do is wrap them in my arms, and take this pain away from them....but alas, as we all know, no one but God can do that. I please ask that you all pray for my family. Pray for my cousin...that her heart is filled with a peace that surpasses all understanding. That God wraps them all in his arms and takes some of the pain away...or at least shares in their pain with them. 

And for you my dear cousin:

You have supported and loved me through the last 2.5 years. Although miles apart, your words of encouragement and prayers have not gone unnoticed. Please know that I am here for you when YOU are ready to talk. I will listen. I love you, and my prayers are with you.