Rosie walks with Jesus

So yesterday was a pretty difficult day for Foster and I. It was the day of our scheduled C-section. If everything had gone as planned, then we would have had a healthy, happy baby girl. A baby girl who had his nose, my lips, a combination of his hair texture with my hair color (blondish and curly). She was also very unfortunate to have our shoulders. The chaplain at the hospital had a beautiful pink dress to put our beautiful girl in for her Baptism, however, she had to rip the lining out because Rosie's shoulders were too broad to fit in it. We know she probably would have been an incredible swimmer! The one thing I wish we could have seen was whether or not she had our dimples, guess I will have to wait to see her in heaven before I can see her smile. And oh what a happy reunion that will be! Until then, I will just have to imagine what she looks like, and Jesus will have the pleasure of walking with Rosie and seeing her beautiful smile.

I don't know if it was a way to fill our time yesterday, but Foster and I did some major therapeutic shopping. We went all over looking for paintings and lighting for our living room and dining room. We had a lot of fun, and my usually frugal husband's hand was WIDE open. We found these amazing pictures:

Sorry these pictures do not do the paintings justice, but that is the best I could do. We also got some pretty lighting for the formal living room, including a great desk lamp for Foster's desk:

Although the shopping was great, we had some quality time to talk about Rosie and our feelings about the day. Foster and I have been talking about how Satan has truly been trying to test us by trying to destroy the two things he hates the most, family and our faith in God. But what we never thought of was that God had chosen US to carry Rosie and be her parents. God blessed us with the privilege of carrying this beautiful child knowing all too well that she would not take a single breath in this world. However, He chose the perfect parents to carry her! Foster and I are strong individually, but unbreakable together. We love each other so much, and regardless of what life throws at us, we will make it through together. We loved her even in the short amount of time we got with her, and we will continue to love her, carry on her memory and do as much as we can in her name. Hopefully, God willing, we will be able to give her a brother or a sister to look after in the future.

I played Foster this beautiful song in the car by the band Selah, the lyrics are :

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One Who’s chosen Me
To carry you.

It is a beautiful song, and so true! I WILL praise Him who chose ME, and I WILL carry on Rosie's memory the rest of my life! And I will wake up every morning thanking God for the blessings I have: an adoring husband, a supportive family, and my own little angel in Heaven watching out for me!