The Foot Washer

Once again, it has been a very busy, somewhat stressful weekend. If you recall, a few weeks ago Mama JJ passed. They had a beautiful Catholic service for her in New York and spread her ashes over the Allegheny River. The Allegheny empties into the Ohio, so she can be in both New York where she grew up, and in Ohio where she raised her daughter and spent a large portion of her life. On Saturday June 26th her family had a beautiful memorial service for her in Newark, Ohio at the teen center that she helped establish.

Mama JJ was a TRUE Christian. She was one of the most beautiful women you could ever have the honor of meeting. She did not just preach being a Christian, judge if you were not the same religion as she was, or talk about doing good things, she actually DID them. She embodied the meaning of love and selfless service and her memorial service was a testimony to her amazing life.

There were over three hundred people present. Every single one of them she had touched in some way, shape or form. There were songs sung, music played, slide shows, and even the flight of an eagle(Lincoln is his name) to honor her life. There was a group of "teens" present that 5-10 years ago would be considered "high risk". Most came from bad families, contemplated suicide, were big into drugs, or were delinquents. Now, today, thanks to Mama JJ and the teen center, they are still alive, most have become Christians and are thriving in society. She took the kids that society and everyone else ignored and disregarded and took them under her wing. Her husband and her also took some of these kids into their own home. There were times when Mama and Papa JJ were struggling to make ends meat on their own, but were still open and willing to help these kids and and give them all that they could, because as the old saying goes, "God will provide." They somehow made it work. The pastor described her perfectly as "The Foot Washer".

For me, Mama JJ was like a second mother. JJ and I have been friends for going on 29 years and we are more like sisters than friends. We have lived together for a total of 6 years, and like sisters, we can fight like cats and dogs. There were times that if we got in a big fight Mama JJ would call me after hearing JJ's side of the story and ask for mine. She would give me advice, say things like "I don't know where she got that, I taught her better than that," and made me feel better. She never took sides, never judged. I thought for sure JJ knew about these talks, until I was talking to her a week ago, and told her about it. Mama JJ kept our conversations and everything said to herself. She loved me like family.

JJ and Foster did not get along all that well at first. They are way too much alike and their type A personalities clashed from time to time. Mama JJ knew this, and despite this knowledge, the first time she met Foster she fell in love. She adored him and welcomed him with open arms regardless if JJ liked him or not. Luckily, with time, JJ and Foster have become friends and have a mutual respect for each other.

I could go on and on about what an amazing woman she was but would never completely do her justice. She was full of understanding and grace. Even up to the moment she took her last breath. She never complained about the cancer, never complained about the pain. When I was in the hospital after losing Rosie, she called me and said, "Erin, I am so sorry. I love you so much, and although you do not want to hear this, I will be joining Rosie very soon. As soon as I get up there, I am going to steal her out of the arms of your granny and hug her for you." I have no doubt that she went straight to heaven. I have no doubt that Jesus personally escorted her himself, and I have no doubt that the three of them are enjoying each others company, waiting for JJ's family and my family to join them. Just as Jesus bore his cross and the pain of crucifixion, Mama JJ endured her pain to be rewarded with eternity in heaven. And just as Mary endured the pain of losing her child but continued to do his work and mission, I bear the pain of losing Rosie, but will continue the mission in her name and in Jesus' name. If I can become half the woman that Mama JJ was and make half the impact on this world, I will consider my life a success.

I urge each of you to take Mama JJ as an example, and try each day to give. Whether it be as simple as a smile to a stranger, to as dedicated as missionary work in a third world country, we can all give a little of ourselves and follow in the footsteps of "The Foot Washer".

After tonight, I deserve a glass of wine!

I am sitting here at 630AM with a glass of wine in my hand pondering my last shift at work. No I am not an alcoholic, I work third shift and this is my "night time". My mind is still reeling, and I have a feeling it may take me a while to fall asleep.

If I said last night was hectic, it would be an understatement. We were drowning. It was so incredibly busy, I was trying to eat a salad while I had a desk full of charts,I was answering phones in between bites, and I only went to the bathroom twice in twelve hours. The emotions that run through me as I see these patients through their charts is what makes me happy I am not on the floor dealing with them one on one. I am responsible for putting in orders, calling doctors, calling specialists, making sure radiology, respiratory, and every other department in the hospital get their orders for patients. I am kind of the "hub" and I can make or break a night by how well I keep up with everything. The entire time I was working an image of an octopus secretary went through my head.

One of the many times I see the charts are at the end of a visit. I document everything and make sure they are logged out. This is when I come across the reasons patients are there. Last night it seemed like it was the night of miscarriages and pregnancies. It seemed every woman coming in between the ages of 16 and 45 were either miscarrying their babies or finding out they were pregnant. Every time I saw a miscarriage pass through my hands I got really sad. It pains me to think that another mommy was losing her baby. Every time a pregnancy chart passed through my hands I smiled and hoped that these women realized what an amazing gift they had, and hoped they would appreciate the life growing inside of them. Unfortunately, not all of them feel this way. Actually, a large majority of the women we see are not happy when they find out they are pregnant. I specifically remember a woman coming in right before I lost Rosie. I was a little over seven months pregnant. I went to tell her that she was pregnant and started to congratulate her when she replied, "Oh crap! Well, just as I thought, I guess I am going to the clinic this week. I made an appointment just in case the test came back positive." She was going to have an abortion. This instance I apologized to the woman and told her I wish she would think twice, but it was ultimately her decision, I obviously chose life. If I witnessed this same scene now I would probably burst out in tears in front of this woman. I would asked her to reconsider, and probably offer to adopt her child. I guess one of the girls last night was relieved that she miscarried, because she didn't want the baby to begin with. It is so sad. People take that tiny little life inside of them for granted until they have wanted it so bad and then lost it.

Then we had our psych patients, the patients who come to us because they either have attempted to commit suicide, or are threatening to commit suicide. Before I used to talk to them and listen to them and try to understand their reasoning. Now, if I had to take care of one, unless they have gone through the amount of grief that me and my family has over the past 9 weeks, I would tell them to suck it up and stop whining.
"My boyfriend left me."
"There are more fish in the see."
"My husband hit me."
"Leave his sorry butt."
"I am homeless."
"There are groups to help you."
"I lost my job."
"Get another one...I am POSITIVE McDonald's by me is hiring."

If there is anyone who should be a cracked out, chain smoking, alcoholic ready to commit suicide, it should be me! This one glass of wine before bed does NOT constitute an alcoholic, so don't send the men with straight jackets after me. I feel these people are just weak minded, and I know that is an awful thing to say, but if you read what my mom has been going through over the past year, NO ONE has room to complain!

Now, we did have three patients that came through our doors in the past twenty four hours that broke my heart. Our three rape victims. Yes, not one, not two, but three rapes in the past 24 hours. Luckily, the cops caught one of the rapists, he was the local serial rapist who had raped at least 7 women that we are aware of. They all had the crap beaten out of them in the process, and were all pretty bad off. No woman should EVER have to experience that. Any man who would be as low as to rape a woman should have his penis chopped off and nailed on a post in the middle of town square. These are instances when I wish the old forms of punishment were still allowed, hang the man from the gallows not by his neck, but by his penis. Then let all of the women he has hurt rape him how they want with whatever object they want! Sorry, I went on a tangent.

The twelve hours is kicking my butt also. It is one thing to remain happy go lucky for 8 hours, answering every "How are you?" with "I'm fine." and a smile on my face. By the end of twelve hours it becomes exhausting. I am not saying all of it is an act, but every once in a while I really just want to vent and say how I truly feel, "Every minute that I have been here I think about my daughter and miss her. I am not okay and don't feel like I will ever be okay again." However, tonight when I started to reach my breaking point, I accompanied a friend of mine outside for a breather. We talked for a good 40 minutes. She let me vent, talk about Rosie, talked about my blogging, and talked about God. It meant so much to me, and I was able to go back in refreshed and finish out the shift with a true smile on my face. I think some people think it hurts me to talk about Rosie, but actually it makes me feel good and makes me realize that they have not forgotten about her either. It is not a conversation people need to avoid for fear of "hurting", I already hurt no matter what the topic is. Ask me anything I will be happy to talk about her. So I really appreciated the wonderful talk I had with my friend tonight.

I know helping people is one of my callings, I just pray everyday that this experience has not made me hard to the struggles and problems of strangers. As time passes, I am sure these little things that get to me now will ease. Grieving is a process and I am along for the ride now.

Bring On the 90 Degree Weather!!

The purpose of this blog would be completely pointless if I did not write the truth and about the struggles that I deal with in my life. I hesitate to write this entry because I don't want any of you to get the wrong idea about Foster. It is actually quite humorous in my mind that we would even argue over something as stupid as this, but behold it has been a common struggle between two very stubborn people. Air Conditioning.

Air conditioning is something that a lot of people take for granted, and heat. In my household, not by my choice, the heating and cooling system is only used in dire emergencies. During the winter the heat stays at a chilly 64 degrees, and during the summer the air stays off. Prior to Foster and I getting married, I did not have the right to argue about his stinginess because I was not paying the electric bill. He had just returned from Iraq and was used to 100+ degree days. I understood how he could be so comfortable in 90 degree heat. So when I would get too hot, I would head back to my place and enjoy the nice 71 degree environment. He and I compromised due to the fact that he enjoyed having me around and put a window air conditioner in the bedroom window so I could sleep during the day since I work third shift, and that way I would be there with him when he got home at night.

The winter months do not bother me because I usually feel hot, and even if I get cold it is easy to warm up by applying a few layers of clothing. I love to curl up under the down comforter and cuddle up to Foster in the middle of the night. The only downside to a cold house is when I need to get out from under the covers to get ready for school or work in the morning, but a hot shower is the perfect remedy. Foster loved this past winter and probably saved quite a bit of money because I was pregnant and ALWAYS hot. I think the heat was down to 62 most of the time.

Today was the last straw. I snapped. It was probably a combination of the heat, humidity, and residual hormones, but I could not take it anymore. I had to put my foot down and ask for a little pity. I was miserable. The temperature reached 92 degrees today and the humidity had to have been at a 100%. I could not get away from the heat. I am not a very pleasant person if I am hot, I am very light skinned and I don't sweat very easily.

To give you an example, when I was in basic training I was stationed in South Caroline between May 20th and July 23rd. If you think Ohio has hot summers, South Carolina is ridiculous! We were in the middle of a long road march on sandy hills and people were dropping like flies from the heat. I seemed to be doing pretty well, but my Drill Seargent, who was a fellow red head with very pale skin looked at me and said "Finneran you are not looking too good." At first, when I am hot I turn beat red, but the danger hits when I go pale again, and as I said, I do not sweat much when I am hot so my body does not do a good job at cooling itself down. My Drill Sargent sat me down and took my temperature. It was 103! He immediately made me sit down in the shade, poured cold water on the back of my neck, and gave me a canteen full of electrolyte water.

This evening I was hot, sticky, and very irritable. I bent down to unhook Rowdy's leash, and got really dizzy, I knew it had gotten to a bad point. To give Foster credit, yes I did know what I was getting myself into when I married him, but I also figured he would be reasonable and able to compromise if things were really important to me. I had been hinting to him all day about the fact that I thought it would be a good idea to turn on the AC. I whined, bitched, complained, and even asked nicely but it just seemed that he wasn't getting the point. So, I had to start raising my voice to make a point. Yes, I picked a fight. He gave me every excuse why NOT to turn on the air, the electric bill would go up, he was fine, it was not a necessity, we are saving energy. Every excuse he gave me, I came back with just as strong of an argument supporting my stand on turning ON the air, we are on a budget so it just means we will get a smaller refund (if they give us a refund at all, my theory is they are more willing to come for more money than give you a refund). I was not fine and he is not the only one in the house that matters. Even if it is not a necessity, why purposefully torture yourself if you have the means of making yourself comfortable? He told me that if the air was on, than all we would do was sit in the house and not go outside and work. I told him that BECAUSE it was so hot in the house, I don't go outside and work because there is no way for me to come in and get cooled off if I got too hot outside. I explained to him that the reason I could suck up the heat in South Carolina was because I knew that when it was time to eat and time to sleep, I was in nice cool accommodations. I told him that I hate cooking in the heat because the stove makes it hotter, I hate doing laundry in the heat because the dryer makes it hotter, and I hate cleaning in the heat because I work up a sweat sweeping the floor. Plus, I can't eat in the heat, so my cooking would be just for him and would go to waste on me. He claims we can make a little "house" in the basement and hang out down there. That would be great, but there is no kitchen, laundry, or bathroom in the basement. Needless to say, with two VERY bullheaded people, this argument looked like it would never end and neither one of us were going to win. So I came up with not one, not two, but three compromises.

My first idea was that we only turn the air on when the temperature outside reaches ninety degrees. I am usually okay in the eighties and a fan is sufficient to cool me off. We would set the temperature in the house at 75, which is higher than most people set theirs.

My second compromise was that if he still refused to turn on the air, than he could not yell at me for complaining, bitching, or crying, and he could not complain about the electricity I waste with my little window air conditioner. But, don't be surprised if I hide in the bedroom more often than usual.

The third compromise, and one I knew was totally out of the question, was to allow me to go around the house topless. He HATES it when I do this, because although I steer clear of windows, and pull the curtains when I do, he thinks the neighbors can see, so I keep my top on.

Well, he didn't like any of these ideas. Obviously #3 was a "no go", he said he would eventually say something if I complained all the time, and he did not want to put on the air even in 90 degree weather.

It is moments like these that I wish I had my daughter. Because you know, that if poor little Rosie were sweating her little baby butt off, daddy would turn the air on in a heartbeat.

My last option was going to have to be turning the AC on when he is not home in order to get some housework done, and then turn it off before he gets home and notices. I do not want to blatantly disrespect him like that or hide anything from him. I must admit, if the air condition is the biggest thing that Foster and I argue about, I consider myself blessed, because it is so small an issue in the grand scheme of things.

Although it seems like my husband sounds like an unreasonable man, this is far from the truth. The problem is he does not like to admit he is wrong in the middle of an argument. It is like he is a stubborn mule who as long as you try to move him he won't go, but as soon as you stop trying to force him he will start walking on his own. Sure enough, as I was speeding to work, because the argument lasted a little too long, he called and admitted my compromise was completely reasonable, and he totally agrees with it. He told me he was sorry, he loved me, and he was not the only person that mattered in the house. So it is official, when the temperature hits 90 degrees, we will turn on the air to 75. Here is to hoping the temp stays above 90! Happy summer guys!!

The Mind Playing Tricks!

When I went to Dr. C (my high risk doctor), he seemed very knowledgeable. He explained to me what the plan for the next child would be, and what he would and would not do. However, what really impressed me the most is when he looked at pictures of Rosie and made it seem very personal. He said although he could not relate to our situation personally, he told me a story.

"When I attended the funeral of my 87 year old grandmother one of her best friends got up to say a eulogy and started saying all of these beautiful stories about my grandmother. Then she talked about something none of us knew. She mentioned that my grandmother was not afraid of death, and that she has not been afraid of dying since she was twenty years old. The reason she was not afraid of dying is because it would be the first time she would get to meet her daughter Mary for the first time.
None of us were aware that my grandmother had lost a baby girl when she was 36 weeks along. 67 years after her daughter's passing, she was still thinking about her and still missed her."

He said although he could not take this pain away, he could do everything in his power to make sure we get a healthy, happy baby. One thing he wanted to do was get an MRI of my uterus. When Dr. T performed my surgery, she noticed I had a heart shaped uterus but could not tell the severity of the situation because my uterus was all stretched out due to the pregnancy. Dr. C wanted to get an MRI of my uterus at normal size to see what he is dealing with.

I had the MRI scheduled for Friday. I was filling out the paper work when I came across the question "Is the a chance you could be pregnant?" I thought about this for a few moments. Well, I am of child bearing age, I ovulated around the 14th (I felt it), and Foster and I are an active married couple. Of course I COULD be pregnant. However, I know an MRI poses no real threat to a developing fetus like a CAT scan or even an X-ray can, because a MRI used magnets instead of radiation. So, I marked the "NO" box. I patiently waited in the reception area pondering the idea, "What if I WERE pregnant?" There would be so many mixed emotions. I would be excited, but nervous. I don't know if I would be ready emotionally, and physically, I would like to lose another twenty pounds before conceiving another baby. However, it is all up to God, and if He feels it is the right time, I will trust Him.

My name was finally called and I followed the technician back to the MRI room. I deposited my purse and keys into the locker and removed all of my jewelry. She brought me into the room and started explaining the process to me, "The first part of the test we are going to just take some images of your uterus. Then I am going to take you out for a minute, administer some contrast, and take some more images of the vessels in your uterus."
WOAH buddy! Contrast? Contrast is usually used with CAT scans, and it contain isotopes that help make the images more detailed, but most important, contain radiation that will most likely cause problems in a pregnancy. "Wait," I said, "what if I COULD be pregnant?"

"Are you, or do you think you are?"

"I don't know. I could possibly be pregnant, I am young, married, active, and ovulated a few days ago. If I am, I would only be a few days pregnant. The probability that I am pregnant is slim, but the possibility is there. I don't know what to do."

"Well," the tech responded," unless you tell me 'NO', I cannot do this test on you. Why don't you just reschedule for when your period is due, and if you have to cancel, GREAT, cause that means you are pregnant. If not, at least you have the piece of mind that you are definitely not pregnant."

"I feel so stupid," I responded, "I feel so stupid about coming all the way in here and now I have to turn around and reschedule. Maybe it is wishful thinking, but I would rather be safe than sorry." I walked back out the reception area, and rescheduled myself for July 2nd which is around the time my monthly gift should be here.

I hate how our minds can play tricks on us. When I was not trying to get pregnant, every symptom scared me, and I prayed that I would get my monthly visitor and would let out a sigh or relief when Aunt flow did come. However, now that Foster and I hope to get pregnant, every little thing makes me think I am pregnant. I have been waking up in the morning with slight nausea and light headed. I have gotten up at least three times in the middle of the night to pee for the last 3 nights. I swear my boobs grew a whole size over night, I am having issues sleeping and I like to think the slight pains in my abdomen are ones of implantation. I am praying that my famous aunt stays away on the 28th. However, everyone of these symptoms have a reasonable explanation. For one, it is soooo early if I am pregnant, how on earth can I feel symptoms already. The nausea and light headed could be a result from not sleeping well. The fact that I am not sleeping well could be a result from the cough and sore throat I am suffering from. The increased urination could be from all the water I have been drinking because my throat hurts. It could just be my mind playing tricks on me with the pains in my abdomen, and my boobs could just be getting bigger because I am 6 days from that time of the month.

I refuse to be too excited. I will not take any pregnancy tests until I am "late". I refuse to get my hopes up, because I don't want to be disappointed. I also do not know if I am ready to go through another pregnancy, because it would be so stressful, but if that is the plan, I will embrace it, and follow that path.

Although I will not tell anyone if I do get a Big Fat Positive (BFP) next week, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I am sure everyone will know by the way I act. Why must my body tease me?!?!?

Father's Day

(I originally started writing this on father's day, but got a little emotional and busy, so I decided to finish it later, and post it today)

I have noticed something interesting through my grieving process. From the very start, I avoided grieving for myself but instead grieved for the other people involved. The first couple of days everyone was worried about me and Foster, understandably, but I was worried about my poor sister Bug. I have mentioned before that she is a NICU nurse, and has to work with sick babies everyday. She had to watch her niece pass away who was completely developed enough to survive an early delivery, and watch her sister lose her daughter with no real explanation, while she watched women who don't want their babies and don't take care of themselves through their pregnancies take home healthy bundles of joy. While everyone worried about Foster and I, I think poor Bug was lost in the background. She was grieving, and had to go back to work to handle sick babies only 3 days later.

Then it was onto my mother. She has been going through so much! It all started with when my dad lost his job a little over a year ago. Two of the horse died within 2 weeks of each other. Then the dog got hit by a car, luckily survived but broke her leg. Our little pony dies, her best friend in California was found to have some form of dementia, her best friend of 30+ years, Mama JJ, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, now her first granddaughter had passed before even being born. To top it all off, HER daughter was suffering, and there was nothing she could do to take the pain away. She has definitely been going through more than any one person should in one year. I cried for her, wanting to take away her pain and give her a ray of sunshine.

My darling husband Foster, I have been grieving for him since day one. Not only did he lose his daughter, but he was unable to protect his wife from the pain and hurt. He had to witness me in pain everyday physically and emotionally. Then we went to the Pearl Jam concert that was bitter sweet. I originally bought the tickets as an early father's day gift. So when we attended, it was with heavy hearts. Now Father's Day is here, and he does not get to celebrate it with his little girl. This does not make him any less of a father, however, because he is an amazing father! It takes a special kind of dad to father an angel.

Two months ago today our beautiful Rosalynn was born with angel wings. Foster and I were sitting in church and a precious girl about her age was sitting in front of us. This month we could be expecting to see her smile on purpose for the first time. She would be developing those smooth, chubby baby rolls. She would be enjoying tummy time and lifting her head while on her belly. She would be so much more aware of her surroundings than she was a month ago. Foster would be telling her about soccer as he watched the World Cup with her. He would be proudly carrying her on his chest in her little Baby Bjorn harness while watching Grandpa, Bug and I play golf. It would have been an amazing Father's Day.

I am sure Rosie is smiling down on Foster. He has taken such good care of her mom. He has been there to make me laugh when I am sad. He has cried with me, held me in his arms as I have wept, and dealt with my hormonal emotions. He helped around the house when I was unable to do much after the surgery. He did laundry, cooked, and even vacuumed a few times. I cannot imagine going through all of this without him, and pray I never have to find out what life would be like without him.

Foster, you have been amazing, and I love you so much. You deserve this more than anyone: Happy Father's Day sweetheart!

Jeopardy

It runs for 30 mins a day on ABC Monday thru Friday.
What is Jeopardy?

The show that since I was little my life revolved around
What is Jeopardy?
The song my sister choreographed her first dance to
What is the Jeopardy Theme Song?

That is correct!
It all started when my little sister was born. My mother was blessed with being a stay at home mom for about a year, and since we just moved to California she did not have many adult friends. I was four, and although I was speaking in full sentences by the age of 18 months, I guess it wasn't quite enough. My mother started watching Jeopardy to keep her mind sharp and feel as if she was getting a little more mental stimulation than talking with a four year old and an infant. Every day at seven p.m. my mom, Bug and I would watch Jeopardy. Thanks mom, because I'm sure it helped my IQ jump a few points also. My sister perfected her toddler Jeopardy dance. It consisted of her sitting her little but right in front of the TV and when the song started to play she would bob her head from side to side in the ear-to-shoulder movement. It became famous in our neighborhood. People would come far and wide, well, maybe from a couple blocks away, in order to watch Bug bob to Jeopardy. I wish we could have gotten it on video!


This is NOT Bug, but Obviously babies love to dance to the Jeopardy song, it is all over youtube.
When I moved out, I thought that would be the last time that my life had to revolve around this trivia game. I was wrong!

The only time I cannot talk is the thirty minutes this show is on.
What is Jeopardy?

Yeppers, Foster's favorite show is Jeopardy. Actually, it is the only show he watches religiously. I guarantee if the local channels had not gone digital, Foster and I would never have gotten cable. We had the bunny ears, and as long as he was able to watch his show, there was no need for cable. Well, THANK GOD it all went digital, because now I get to watch all of my other shows. However, no matter what I am watching, at seven o'clock I give up the remote for thirty minutes, and must remain quiet. If you know me, you know how hard it is for me to stay quiet for five minutes so thirty seems impossible!

We make it a rule that we do not eat in front of the television unless this show is on
What is Jeopardy?

That is right! Foster and I have made a pact that no matter what is going on in our lives, we will always make time to eat dinner at the table except, you guessed it, when Jeopardy is on. I try my hardest to time dinner either a half an hour before or right after Jeopardy, but sometimes it just happens to be done around seven o'clock, and in those instances, I make an exception to our dinner at the table rule.

If I call my husband when this show is on, he will not hear or remember a word I say
What is Jeopardy?

Yes, last month I learned the hard way to make sure to check the time before calling Foster. I made the mistake of calling him at 7:05pm one evening, and I noticed he was not paying attention to a word I was saying. I looked at the time and realized what I had done, "Okay, honey, I will call you back in twenty-five minutes," I said.

"Huh? What? Oh, okay, thanks honey," he responded as he was trying to listen to the TV.

So, a word to the wise, unless it is a life and death emergency, I would refrain from calling Foster or me between 1900-1930 (7-7:30). If you do, be warned, I do not take responsibility if he completely ignores what you say or just doesn't answer the phone. And for my sake, pray that Jeopardy never goes off the air, or else you may find a nice 32" TV for sale in my front yard and Time Warner will lose one more customer.

Headstone Engraving

So far, these are a couple of the quotes I was thinking about putting Rosie's headstone. Let me know what you think, or if you have other suggestions, PLEASE leave me a message!
(a carving of an angel or a rose)
Rosalynn Patricia Foster
April 20, 2010

"Mommy and daddy's little angel"

"Lord, I wanted to hold my daughter on my lap and tell her about You, but since I can't can you hold her on your lap and tell her about me?"

"Too beautiful for Earth"

"Some people only dream of angels, we held one in our arms"

"A rosebud plucked too soon"

"She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels" (from "sissy's song"...makes me cry every time i hear this song!!)

I feel so guilty waiting so long to do this, but I feel like it makes it so final, that yes indeed she is gone. Thank you all for your input.