Where do I even begin? It has been such a whirlwind the past 40 hours that I may leave something out, but want to write this down before I start to forget.
As mentioned in my last blog post, I was on modified bed rest. I was allowed to do certain things, as long as my blood pressure was kept under control, and any signs of pre eclampsia stayed away (nausea, headaches not cured with Tylenol, right upper quadrant pain, changes in vision). Saturday was uneventful. I stayed at home most of the day and left just to have a nice dinner with my family. Low key, low bps most of the day. Sunday is when I woke up feeling like yuck.
It started off with just slightly elevated blood pressure. (140s/80-90) nothing to be concerned about. Nothing to call the doc about because I had been hanging out around that range the past 2 weeks. But I felt "off". Went to church with the family. This literally required me to sit in a car, then sit through service, I didn't stand, didn't dance in the aisles lol, just sat. But I had a feeling of "restless body syndrome" if you have ever had restless leg syndrome, it is that feeling but all over my body. I wasn't comfortable sitting, standing, walking, didn't want anyone touching me. Just REALLY restless.
We headed home and my bp was still 140s/80-90.
Foster had a few errands to run, grocery shopping, ref a rugby game, etc. So while he did that I napped. I took TWO 1.5 hr naps. NOT like me, but once again, I wasn't feeling well.
Woke up at 530pm to get ready to go to small group. Which required me to sit in the car, walk to a couch and sit on a couch for 2 hrs. No big deal. Plus I figured with everything going on, it would be a nice thing to hang with a group that would be praying hard for all of us.
After small group, I got home, Foster went to bathe Ava while I made a late dinner of sandwiches and Mac and cheese. After putting the pot on to boil I decided to take my bp because I still didn't feel well. It read 160/100. I was a bit shocked, but did what Dr P told me: lay on your left side, rest for 10 mins and retake. If it doesn't go down, call. Retake: 138/85, the best it has been all day.
So we ate and then headed to bed. Yes, I was headed to bed at 9pm even after 2 naps. The one thing I noticed is my tummy was tight. Not contraction tight, but more just overall tight. Tender to the touch. Even Ava wanting to kiss the belly goodnight was a bit painful. I chalked it up to mild contractions like I had had on and off since 28 weeks, and figured I would chug some water and lay down. It would go away like it always did.
Why didn't I call my doc? I don't know. I thought about it multiple times through the day, but I had a non stress test scheduled that next morning and figured as long as I was keeping things under control, I would be fine till then. Nothing seemed major, just had that "off" feeling all day.
I was out like a light by 9:30p. But just like every other night, I woke up about 1.5 hrs later because I had to pee....oh the joys of pregnancy. I shuffled into the bathroom, sat down and before I got the chance to start peeing, I felt a huge gush. I stopped. Oh crap. I think my water just broke. I flipped on the bathroom light, not knowing what to expect because my water has never broken, and was terrified when I looked in the toilet and it looked like a massacre had taken place. I froze. When I think of the most devastating moment in my life, it is when we found out Rosalynn had no heart beat. When I think of the most terrifying moment of my life, this was it.
I am too versed in pregnancy. I know the good, the bad and the devastating. I know that that much blood in the third trimester could mean 1 of 2 things:
1) My csection scar was opening, which is a risk with any pregnancy after csection, and when contractions have been manifesting themselves, increase this risk if they are strong enough/productive. This is one reason why docs don't like doing vaginal births after csection (VBAC).
2) A placental abruption. Any of you who watch Grey's anatomy, they JUST had an episode of a woman experiencing one of these. Both her and baby died. VERY dangerous, very scary, and happens quickly.
I yelled out to Foster, "HONEY.....wake up we need to go to the hospital NOW".
All I kept thinking is I had lost her already. That I was hemorrhaging and Pippa was gone. I honestly thought I had lost another baby.
Foster sprung into action, grabbing Ava and getting her to the neighbor's house, grabbing my bag that was still partially packed from Thursday's stay at OSU, and getting the car ready.
I called 911 and grabbed my Doppler. I didn't want to risk bleeding out and dying in a car my husband was driving on the way to the hospital. I wanted to make sure I had medical care on the transport to the hospital. But I also knew this meant 1 bad thing: they would take me to a hospital I was not familiar with, with docs who didn't know my case, and my doc had no delivery rights to.
While I was on the phone with 911 I had my Doppler in hand.
"Mrs Foster, can you feel your baby move?"
"No, I haven't felt her move since the gush. I have a doppler in my hand but I am terrified to put it on my belly" I told the operator. "What if my daughter is gone already?!".
"Ma'am most squads don't have a way to check fetal heart tones. So if you want to check it would be best to use it."
As I placed the doppler on my belly I held my breath.......and THANK THE LORD Pippa was there. It was the first time the entire pregnancy I didn't have to search for her or chase her with the doppler. Thank God for small favors!! I knew she was at least alive.
TO BE CONTINUED........
I am exhausted, my pain meds are kicking in, and I need to head to bed. Sorry lol. I will finish typing her story tomorrow:-)