This is a very personal post/question for my fellow Baby Loss Mothers. After losing Rosalynn, one of the hardest parts was when my milk came in. Not only were my arms aching for the baby that was supposed to come home with me, but now my body was as well. However, recently a question was asked by one of my favorite PP nurses. My story had inspired her, and she wanted my personal opinion on a sensitive subject. Would I have donated my milk to the NICU if given the option after losing Rosie?
This question was a hard one to ask. Right now, 22 months later, I say yes, I would have done it. I would have done anything to validate my daughter's death. However, thinking back to those first few days, how would I have reacted if someone asked me 1-2 days after losing her to donate my milk?
Foster had brought up the idea of donating Rosie's cord blood, but unfortunately, by the time the c-section happened. it was too late, the blood was clotted, and not appropriate for donation. He was all about doing something to help other babies. If HE had thought about the idea of milk donation and talked to me about it, I may have considered it. If a nurse of doctor had brought it up? I may have gotten offended. "You want me to help another baby when I can't take home my own!?!?"
Maybe an information pamphlet? Maybe if the home health nurse who did my follow up 3 days after I got home would have been the person appropriate to bring up the subject? What do you think? how would you have reacted if asked in the hospital, and if that was the inappropriate time to breech the subject, when, how, and where would it be appropriate?
Goodbye, Old Friend
3 years ago
2 comments:
I think pamphlet is a great idea. Give it to parents and give them time to think instead of broaching the subject so soon after the loss of their baby. I pumped for 3 wks and gave the milk to my cousin who I found out later threw it away. I was SOOO pissed. Had I known she was going to do that I would have donated it elsewhere or to a mom who really would've used it.
I originally hadn't pumped to donate but to just slowly ease the decrease of my milk. I didn't want to be in pain and be engorged and just wait for it to go away on its own.
I spent 55 days in the NICU with my son before he passed away, and pumped the entire time. I overproduced so I had tons of milk in storage. They did ask if I would donate it after he passed, and I really did want to... but I was such a mess at the time even the simple thing like filling out a little paperwork to do it was just too much for me. In the end it all ended up being thrown away, and I really do wish I had had the strength of mind to go through with donating it.
Post a Comment