WW Meeting #2

Well, i promised I would keep you updated on the weight loss, the good, the bad and the ugly. I was fully expecting to go in, get weighed, and not see any improvement. I was just on the low carb diet, and my body has officially been able to eat carbs for the first time in 2 months. I was afraid I would gain before I lost. However, I have been feeling really good about the diet. It has made me feel healthier and that in turn makes me feel happy. I told Foster yesterday, "I am really proud of myself for dong so well on this diet. It is so easy."

He agreed, and added, "I will also be really proud of you when the weight starts coming off."

As I have said before, he believes I am beautiful as is, but he knows I have not been happy with myself.

Well, Foster can officially be proud of me on this diet. I lost 5.6 pounds in the first week!

I know this is not going to be typical. I know that I will be lucky some weeks to lose .2 pounds, but I am bound and determined to lose every week. even if it is only .2 pounds. This week is going to be a challenge. I am leaving for Chicago with JJ and Bug for a much needed girls weekend. However, I figured as long as I plan my meals, and get a good amount of walking in, I should be ok. My goal is to not gain any of the 5.6 pounds back.

What a great way to start my week! I will be in a good mood the rest of today!

First Meeting, and Getting Personal!

If today wasn't a sign that I was supposed to join Weight Watchers (WW), then I don't know what was. When I first arrived and signed up, there was no registration fee today, so I didn't have to pay the standard $24.99 sign up fee, I only had to pay the weekly meeting charge. Since I work at the hospital I do, they gave me a $1 weekly discount, so instead of twelve dollars, I only had to pay eleven. If this wasn't good enough, all of the snack foods and the supplies were 50% off or more! I was able to buy the deluxe starter pack with all of the books for eating out and points for all of the foods and restaurants for nine dollars!!! It is usually $39.95.

I was having my one on one with the leader of the meetings and started to get emotional. She asked normal questions about why I decided to join, what was my weight loss goals, etc, and I started to tear up. I think it hit me really hard how frustrated I am with all of the weight that I have and all of the stretch marks and going from being so in shape prior to the pregnancy to now. AND I HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT!!!!! At least if I carried in a five month old, people would see why I have a little extra weight on me. This also goes for being at Joe's wedding this weekend. I feel like I was such a heifer next to all of the other girls. Although most of the bride's side of the family and the bridal party new what happened, the rest of the guests did not, so I just looked like the poor fat girl standing up there.

A year ago I would have been so confident because I looked good. I was in shape and an attractive size. Foster says I am beautiful, and it makes me feel good that he can look past the extra pounds and still see a beautiful woman, but unfortunately I don't always feel that way. WoW! It is getting personal here today! I don't like using the pregnancy as an excuse to why I gained weight, but I do believe it is the reason the weight is not coming off as fast as it usually does when I diet. I think the hormones and everything changed my body chemistry.

I also have to make a correction. I said that I can do WW while pregnant. Well, yes and no. I cannot attend meetings because they will not take responsibility for a pregnant woman losing weight. HOWEVER, she did explain that since I will have all the tools, under my doctor's supervision, it would be a healthy diet to do, because it is a lifestyle, not just a diet, and since it teaches healthy eating habits and portion control, then I should be able to maintain the diet through another pregnancy if Dr. C says ok.

So, the goals set today at WW meeting #1:
Lose 50 lbs. If I lose fifty pounds, I will be a perfect size and within the weight limits the army puts on my height group.
Run the 5 mile Turkey Trot in less than 58 mins. Any of you are welcome to join me in this endeavor.

Weightloss

I am off to my first Weight Watchers meeting. That is right, I have given up trying to lose weight on my own, and I am seeking out the help of a "support group". Why not? Support groups are what have helped me after the loss of my daughter, and now are a HUGE support now that Foster and I are on the road of trying to conceive again. So I figured this is the best way for ME to lose weight.
Up until now, I have been doing the low carb diet and exercising. I have been really good at the low carb diet, but I have hit a plateau. I lost twelve pounds almost immediately, and then NOTHING. It has been so much harder to lose the weight after a pregnancy. I have always been able to lose weight fairly fast when I put my mind to it, but not this time.
I have been working out, but maybe not as much as I should be. I find it hard to get motivated. I get a good 2-3 workouts a week. I fully intend on getting up every day and running or doing Zumba, but usually only follow through 2-3 times out of 7. I know some of it is partly due to a small amount of depression. Don't get upset, I am not saying I am clinically depressed or need meds, but for God's sake, I did lose a child, and if that isn't enough to make even the toughest person a little depressed, they must not have a heart. I also am very aware that exercise helps you feel better, but it is the motivation that is the issue.
SOOOOO that is where you and Weight Watchers come in. After every post I am going to update on the workout regimen. My goal is to get ready for the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. It is a 5 mile run. I would like to beat my time from last time I ran it of 58 mins. This was BEFORE I joined the Army and learned how to run, and I was only a few pounds lighter than I am now. So, it should be an obtainable goal. I will also update all of you after each meeting about my weight loss for the week. I need to be held accountable. That is what I realized.
The main reason for the diet change is because I was doing research and the WORST diet you can be on when you are trying to conceive is low carb. It adds and obscene amount of protein to your diet that throws off your system. Also, you can't continue the diet when pregnant because you leave out vital nutrients found in whole grains and fruits. I always said that if I got pregnant now, I REFUSED to gain a pound during the pregnancy. For every pound I gained in my belly, I would lose off my butt and thighs. Well, with weight watchers I can do this! It is a diet that you can continue while pregnant. They adjust your points accordingly. I am ecstatic about this!!
Also, everyone is aware that if you are thinner and healthier, the easier it is to conceive, so.....here is to being thin and pregnant by 2011!!!
P.S. If any of you have done Weight Watcher and have WW recipe books or any tips about the program, please let me know!

"Livin La Vida Loca"

I told you my weekend started out great, well it continued. First of all, I wanted to put a link to my blogger friend Holly on here. You can read all about her and her beautiful daughter Carleigh here and all about her journey with her rainbow baby and about her family here. She is definitely a strong, beautiful woman, and I am blessed to have gotten the chance to meet her.

Saturday was another day spent with another strong, beautiful woman. Actually, it was spent with a few beautiful women. JJ and I started out the day early with some much needed shopping. I had a few Macy's gift cards burning a hole in my pocket and made the most of it by finding a few great articles of clothing to stock my wardrobe with. I also needed to pick up a pair of shoes for the two weddings I am in. Thank you to both of the brides for choosing the same color shoes for me to wear. I am not going to lie, I am blessed to be a part of both of their occasions, but it is starting to get pretty darn expensive and my wallet is starting to take a hit. Don't feel bad girls, I have loved every minute of it and would not have it any other way!!

Saturday was Anne's bachelorette party. All of the other brides maids and Anne joined JJ and I at Macy's and we proceeded to pick the bride out the sexiest bachelorette outfit and shoes. We took advantage of JJ's fashion sense and eye for style and picked out the cutest little dress and high heels before we made it tacky with penis necklaces and a veil. After shopping, but before getting gussied up for the big night, we all had a scrumptious dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. I did a great job at sticking to my diet and just ordered a salad and a vodka martini. Okay, so maybe alcohol is not necessarily on my diet, but at least I found a drink that had no carbs in it. None of the girls were very helpful, because they insisted I try all of the decadent deserts they indulged in, to cheat just a little bit, but I stayed strong.... for now.

We made our way to the hotel, which thanks to one of the other bridesmaids, was comped. I have never been able to say that I have gotten a room comped before that night. I have had great deals for being in the military, but to get a $200 room for nothing is a new concept and one I could get used to. We rushed to get ready, because in all the fun we were having at the dinner, we lost track of time. We had a show to get to at 730 and were cutting it really close. We did a quick game of guess who the panties belong to which consisted of Anne pulling panties out of a bag and had to guess by the style who bought them for her. No, they were not previously used, they were all new with the tags and her size. Although I was pretty tempted to buy her a pair of granny maternity panties, I got her a nice pair for her honeymoon. We also decked her out in all of her gear which included a pair of nerd glasses with a penis as the nose. I have no idea who came up with some of this stuff, but we were cracking up. Lucky for Anne, we did not require her to wear this out in public.

JJ, Anne and I decided to wear some pretty high heels and it was the first time I had worn any in about 11 months. About two blocks from the hotel, I quickly realized that it was probably a huge mistake. So JJ and I turned around and got three pairs of flats out of the trunk of the car to carry in our bags for later that night.

The show was okay. I thought it was entertaining, but it was a compilation show of all the best skits and songs of the year and I was a little dissapointed that I was only familiar with about 3 of the songs. The skits were pretty funny and we purchased a special little serenade for Anne. It was a rendition of Ricky Martain's "Livin La Vida Loca" but it was all about living the married life. It was hilarious and Anne ate it up! She was dancing with the actor and we all got a little rowdy.

After the show, and quite a few beers may I add, we headed down the way to one of the bars. It was at this point that I decided I was not going to repeat the same mistake I had made last Saturday and decided to start drinking water. All of the other girls were still drinking their beer and we were all dancing machines, but I THOUGHT the water would make me feel better.

I have to tell this particular story even though I am truly embarrassed to do so. We were having a little problem with one of the bridesmaids. Let's just say she forgot her ID. So we needed to be stealthy in getting her into the bar. I had this great idea to distract the doorman. My shoes zip up the side and are not the easiest to get on or off, so I sat down on the floor next to the bouncer's chair, stuck my feet up on his lap, and asked for his assistance with removing my shoes so I could put on my flip flops. I KNEW those flip flops would come in handy. I think at least five people slipped by the bouncer in the 3 minutes it took him to help me, but the bridesmaid was not one of them. At one point JJ got down on the floor next to me and was mocking me. I can just imagine how this whole scene would look to a sober bystander. It turns out they finagled their way in through the other door so my act of drunken heroism was futile.

We finally made our way back to the hotel room around one AM. Yeah, I know that is still early for some, but most of us are married and some already have kids, so one was late for us. Ahhh, I remember the days when I could stay up to close down a bar and then desperately look for the after party. Not any more. I was ready to go back around midnight, and I was on the phone with Foster begging him to pick me up. Since he was already tucked in for the night, and knew that I was within walking distance of my safe place to sleep, he refused to pick me up. I don't blame him one bit. When we got back to the hotel is when my entire diet went out the window. We ordered Donato's pizza, and I inhaled at least six pieces. I am glad I did because I am sure that is one of the reasons I was at least able to function Sunday morning. Although I drank a TON of water after 11pm, I still woke up with the biggest headache, but after getting home and sleeping for another two ours, I was ready to start moving furniture with the hubby. I am so excited about the new rooms and will definitely post pictures this next week because it is WAY over due for you all to see my home, but that is for a future post.

There are a few reasons that Saturday was so special to me. As I mentioned in previous posts, Anne deserves this celebration more than anyone I know. Her life has been full of trials and tribulations, and continues to be even as I write this. She deserves happiness with this future husband of hers and deserves the support of her friends. The first marriage she had was in a court house, and no one attended because no one supported it. I feel so guilty for this, because as her friend I should have supported her no matter what, but time proved to her that my initial feelings toward her husband held some merit. Unfortunately it took her WAY too long and WAY too much pain before getting out of it.

Second, JJ and Anne have never been close. They are both very very close friends of mine but have been a part of different aspects of my life. They are two polar opposites and because of that, and a drunk admittance to a little bit of jealousy, it caused them to never open up to each other. Well, on Saturday they both got to know each other, had fun, and I think actually may enjoy future activities together. This makes me sooooooooo happy, I don't think either one of them know how happy it makes me feel. They are both such amazing people, and I am thrilled they see that in each other now. God has blessed me with some beautiful friends, and they have been two of my biggest supports through the last few months, and I am happy that they can now see why I am good friends with both of them.

So, this next Saturday, I will stand proud next to Anne and smile from ear to ear, and probably cry, as her and her fiance become man and wife. Oh, and don't worry, my shoes will stay on because I am not drinking a sip next week!

Broke My Diet

Yesterday I had the most amazing chocolate cake, a whole pizza on my own, and topped it off with a nice cold Venti Carmel Frappucino. It was the most amazing meal of my life. Did that break my low-carb diet? Yes! Was I satisfied? Yeppers! Did I feel guilty? Absolutely! Until I woke up and realized it was all just a dream. That is right, my lack of sweets and carbs has caused my mind to indulge itself in these off limit treats while I am fast asleep. This makes them calorie free, and completely satisfying. I wake up feeling very gratified and really guilty at first, and then I remember it was all a dream. What a great way to cheat! I get to eat all of my favorite foods without the fat and sugar going straight to my hips.

I wonder if my mind remembers all of the amazing flavors of my favorite foods and that is why the dreams are so real. I just hope I am not actually sleepwalking and eating the food out of the fridge in the middle of the night. Maybe I am going to have to have Foster set up a video camera just to be sure. Then again, I guess if I really was eating all of this unhealthy food, I would not have dropped seven pounds in the last 2 weeks.