My Family!!

My Family!!
Showing posts with label headstone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label headstone. Show all posts

Friday, November 26, 2010

The Thanksgiving Fiascoes....

This weekend was full of challenges and surprises.. Foster and I were bound and determined to shake things up this year. we were terrified of the holidays this year, because they had a different feeling last year. There was hope for an addition to dinner this year, and excitement for two families being joined all in one little person. Unfortunately, it didn't happen that way, so Foster and I wanted a distraction, a way to make the holiday not seem so lonely. We decided to take on Thanksgiving dinner at our place this year!!

I was a little nervous. Neither Foster nor myself have ever cooked a turkey before. This Thanksgiving we were going to cook two! I was baking the traditional turkey in the oven, and he was grilling one on the charcoal grill. The way I figured, if one didn't turn out, there was always a back-up.

The challenges started the night before. I was peeling sweet potatoes while talking on the phone. I knew it was a bad idea, but I figured I could try to multitask. I was wrong! With one slip, I sliced a chunk of skin off the top of my finger. I never felt it, because the peeler was brand new, and sharp, but I noticed blood. A half a roll of paper towels and a roll of electrical tape later, I was back in business, minus the use of my left index finger.

Thanksgiving morning my mom and dad came over early to assist Foster and I in our Thanksgiving feast. We prepped and put the baked turkey in the oven, and then we were off to visit some very important people:




The four of us went to visit Rosie, grandma and Grandpa. It was really nice, despite the rain to be able to celebrate the holiday with Rosalynn. If you cannot see the stone, because of the rain, here are pictures from when Foster and I visited last Monday:




Interesting story from Monday:

When Foster and I arrived at the cemetery, we noticed the plywood was still covering the opening where the headstone was supposed to be. I started to get really sad, and almost angry, because it had been four months since we ordered it. We marched our little butts down to the office. When we asked them why the stone was not placed, they couldn't figure out what we were talking about. They explained that the funeral home had dropped the stone off a few days prior, and it should have been in place. They started to worry that it had been paced at the wrong grave. Foster and I left our number with instructions for them to call us as soon as they found the stone and placed it. IN the mean time, we decided to check one more time. We went back up to the hill Rosie is buried on and started to look around. Sure enough, her stone was probably 30 yards away on another person's spot, but not put in the ground yet. Performing a very fatherly act, Foster picked up the 100 lbs stone, and brought it to its rightful place, his daughter's grave.

On Thanksgiving, mom, dad, Foster and I took a bottle of Bailey's to toast Grandma with since it was her favorite drink on the holidays. As you can see in the picture, we propped a glass on her headstone for her, but as my mom turned to walk away and grab her own glass, this is what happened:


That's right, the way the glass tipped is right where Granny and Rosie lie. SO one of two things, Granny did not want to share her glass, so she "drank it herself", or Rosie was trying to have a taste of her first alcoholic beverage at WAY too young of an age!! Either way, it brought a laugh to all of us.

When we returned to the house, Foster started up the grill and started to prepare HIS turkey. We checked my turkey, and according to Foster's grandmother's stuffing recipe, I was supposed to add the stuffing to the turkey 1 hour before taking it out of the stove. I figured I had plenty of time, because the turkey was supposed to take about 4 hours.

When we thought I had about an hour to an hour and a half prior to the turkey being done, we took it out of the oven. We stuck the thermometer in, and not only was the turkey done, but the temp was reading twenty degrees too hot!! I was devastated! Now I couldn't put the famous "Foster dressing" into the bird, AND I was going to have a dry, overcooked turkey. I just started to pray that Foster's turkey came out okay, and that the dressing would cook well in a glass pan.

As people started showing up and it looked like all 17 people were present, my dad started carving into my overcooked turkey to find that it was PERFECT. It cooked 2 hours shorter than it was supposed to, with no dressing in it, and twenty degrees too hot, but was perfect! Foster's smoked turkey came out amazing too! Thank God! I was afraid I was going to have to call the Chinese place down the street. However, now we have enough left over turkey to feed a small country for a year. I guess that means a lot of turkey sandwiches are in my future.

Everyone seemed to love all of the food, and dinner seemed to be a real success. Foster and I worked really well together leading up to the day, and with the help of my mom and dad, we were able to pull off the perfect day, despite all of the fiascoes.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

6 Long but Short Months....

< I awoke this morning overwhelmingly sad. I have been so busy with work and school, I have gotten very little sleep, and realized that I wouldn't get the chance to visit my daughter's grave on her 6 month angelversary. I was terrified that people would forget. I should have known better. I got a call from my sister today while I was at work that not only made me cry tears of sadness, but also of joy. She was the loving aunt, and went out to Rosalynn's grave site and spent some time with her and my Granny. My heart swelled, because I am so blessed to have such an amazing sister. Bug has the most gentle soul, and she truly loves her family, including Rosalynn. She took a beautiful red balloon out and released it so Rosie could catch it. She said the rosary with Granny and Rosie, and then read Rosie a beautiful book. As she put it "We had a little party in the cemetery." She did what I couldn't do for her niece today. div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">


I was so relieved. A comfort came over me upon getting the news that someone who loved her so deeply visited her today. Kate did mention that it was a little depressing, because her marker is not yet placed. There is only a small piece of wood where her headstone will soon be.


A friend of mine from Missing Olivia, a fellow BLM and Army wife, sent me some pictures from her cross country trip. These were taken at Lake Tahoe, and although she took them a few weeks ago, she sent them to me today, and I am thankful that she did. For one, they are beautiful. She has a camera similar to my new one, and now I NEED to learn how to use it, because I want to take pictures like this. Second, I needed them today. I know it was probably not intentional to send them today, the 20th, the six month marker, but sometimes God has funny ways of working, and her timing couldn't have been more prefect.
Six months, wow! At times it feels like a lifetime ago, but then again, it feel like it just happened yesterday. The pain is sometimes too raw, especially if I am tired or stressed. Time is flying by way too fast, and yet the world came to a screeching halt for me 6 months ago today. 

  
                               

Thank you all for your love and support. The messages on facebook, the calls and texts. I appreciate them more than you know. It made my fear from this morning dissipate. The people that matter have not forgotten, and hopefully never will.

I also have one problem I want a little advice on. Foster told me today that he told one of his guys that we would come over on Sunday and visit their new baby girl. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for them, but I have a problem with this. First of all, it took me almost 2 months to visit my friend Mrs. Davey (from this post) and her new daughter. I have known her for close to six years, and love her to pieces. Also, the Eastwood's (also from the same post) baby I saw when they were still in the hospital because she knows the feeling of loss and had a very complicated pregnancy. I have known her since before high school, and was rooting her and Baby Eastwood along for 9 long months. There is a reason it was easy to visit them. Not only are they amazing friends, but they let me talk about Rosalynn, and ask questions like "How are you REALLY doing?" and REALLY want to know the answers. I am not close to this couple on Sunday. I don't want to see their baby, I don't want to hold their baby, I don't want to fake that everything is ok. I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable if we start talking about pregnancy pains and adventures like all ex-pregnant women do. I do not know how comfortable they will be with me in their homes. I just don't want to go. Foster insists that I do. He seems to think that it will be "good" for me, and does not see my side of the issue. I understand he wants to support one of his guys, and I will gladly cook some food for them, but please, please, please do not make me go with you. I partially wonder if he wants me to go because he wants my support as well. He may need me to be there for him so he will be strong. What do you think?

Monday, September 20, 2010

Isn't it Ironic??

It would be fitting that today, September 20th, I would finally get an email with the finilization of Rosalynn's headstone. Now it will take 6-8 weeks to go in the ground. Great! it will not be in by my 6 month deadline! Do not think that just because I did not mention it in this morning's post, that I somehow forgot that today marks five months since my precious daughter grew angel wings. As I have mentioned numerous times, I think of her all the time. For instance, I was looking at my military ID on Sunday, and realized that the date that I swore in was April 20th 2008. Interesting how that had never crossed my mind since my daughter died. I was always proud of the day that I enlisted. April 20th had always been a day of pride. I also knew that it meant that 6 years from that day would be the day I could decide to re-enlist or get out.

It is interesting how my priorities have changed. What used to be the biggest accomplishment in my life so far, being a soldier, has taken a back seat to being a mother to an angel and the want to be a mother to a living child here on earth. Even the day I enlisted is now overshadowed by the death of my Rosie. When I realized this, I had to laugh at the irony.

Monday, August 30, 2010

No Exceptions?!?!?!!?

I cannot even begin to tell you how upset I am. Today started out great! I woke up and headed to Mrs. Prince's to work out. We are still attempting to drop the baby weight. I got a text from Foster and he wanted me to check out rental car prices for a trip we are taking to NC in a couple of weeks. Since I was having such a great time with Mrs. and Baby Prince, I asked if I could just use her computer. I decided to check my e-mail. I saw the email I have been waiting six weeks for, the email from the funeral home with the template of Rosie's headstone. It had the attached document with the sketch, but in the email she explained that the cemetery told her I could not have the quote I chose: "Lord, we wanted to sit our daughter on our laps and tell her about you, but since we can't, can You sit her on your lap and tell her about us" and I can't put "Born with angel wings April 20, 2010" either!!!!! St. Joseph's is a Catholic cemetery, and has a bunch of rules. This is what the headstone SHOULD have looked like. (The only change I was going to make was have the quote be in smaller, cursive script like her name):

I was devastated. I AM devastated. I tried to control my emotions in front of Mrs. Prince. My eyes started tearing up a little, but I did not react how I really wanted to. I came home and am now sobbing. It took me months to perfect what I wanted on Rosie's headstone. I wanted it perfect, and it was going to be. Now I need recommendations for a bible verse, because those are the only quotes we can put on it. I think I am going to take a trip down to the cemetery tomorrow after having lunch with a friend, and see what the other babies have on their stones. Ugh!
Please, if any of you know of any appropriate bible versus, I could use the suggestions, because there are a few I am thinking of, but I don't want to miss out on the perfect verse.
Thank you for listening.....

Friday, June 18, 2010

Headstone Engraving


So far, these are a couple of the quotes I was thinking about putting Rosie's headstone. Let me know what you think, or if you have other suggestions, PLEASE leave me a message!
(a carving of an angel or a rose)
Rosalynn Patricia Foster
April 20, 2010

"Mommy and daddy's little angel"

"Lord, I wanted to hold my daughter on my lap and tell her about You, but since I can't can you hold her on your lap and tell her about me?"

"Too beautiful for Earth"

"Some people only dream of angels, we held one in our arms"

"A rosebud plucked too soon"

"She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels" (from "sissy's song"...makes me cry every time i hear this song!!)

I feel so guilty waiting so long to do this, but I feel like it makes it so final, that yes indeed she is gone. Thank you all for your input.
 

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