I am writing this now, because in less than 12 hours Foster, Avaleen and I will be on our way to Chicago to celebrate the life of our sweet Rosalynn with friends, and I am afraid I won't have time to write on her birthday.
I think this time of year has so many mixed emotions, it is sometimes hard for me to put it into words. April 20th 2010 was the day that made me a mother, which should have been the happiest day of my life, but was the most devastating instead. There are days that it just feels like it happened yesterday, but in 3 days it will be 3 YEARS.
It baffles me that I would have a three year old running around the house. We would be planning what theme to have her birthday in, what outfit she was going to wear, and what flavor cake we would have Stephanie make for us (my amazing cake lady). But instead, my family is getting ready to spend some time together and honor her short life here on earth. It is heartbreaking. I miss her!
I have missed her since day one, and even though my blogs have gotten fewer and farther between, it is not because I miss her any less. I have just immersed myself in the gifts that Rosalynn, and God, has blessed me with.
My beautiful Avaleen, my "much prayed for child". She keeps my days filled with smiles and laughter, and she is getting more and more personality by the day!
And my photography. Rosalynn's death has reaped some amazing results. I would give it all up in a heartbeat to have her here on Earth, but EVERY DAY she touches and enriches someones life!! And that makes me a proud mom!!
I will be bringing on a Media guy to my business....this is his dream. And although I believe he would have still gotten the chance to eventually fulfill his dream, my daughter, who inspired me to start my photography, is helping him BECAUSE I have a great business I can incorporate him into. She has also touched a cupcake business owner as well!! Every time I produce a photo that a parent loves, it is Rosalynn, because she is my muse, she is who I think about every time I pick up my camera! I can name quite a few people Rosie has touched...even if they don't know it;-)
So how are we celebrating Rosalynn's short life? I am finally getting in FRONT of the camera. Laura Enright, from Laura Enright Photography has offered to give Rosalynn the best birthday gift she could think of....family pictures of her mom, dad, and sister. We will be using red balloons, and bringing the Rosalynn bear to represent our first born. We will be enjoying a nice birthday meal with Laura and her family, and Joe and Joe:-)
Joe and Joe have been so kind as to put us up for a few days, so we can see the sites of Chicago, and enjoy a little family time. I LOVE Joe, she has such a tender heart. EVERY year on April 20th she has sent a balloon up to Rosalynn. This year she will actually get to take part in the festivities WITH us.
It still crushes that this is the type of celebration we are having instead of a bunch of 3 year olds running around my house, playing and laughing. It crushes me and does not get any easier each consecutive year. But it is how I know how to celebrate Rosalynn's short life.
Please, on April 20th, hug your children a little tighter, smile at someone, or even send up a red balloon, because it is one VERY special little girl's birthday:-) (and send me a pic if you do;-) firstname.lastname@example.org.
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