Well as you know, the much anticipated ultrasound appointment was today. To say I was nervous was an understatement. It is tragic what a loss does to you. Last time I was walking in for a first trimester U/S, I had no fear. The thought of a molar pregnancy, a blighted ovum, or no hear beat neaver crossed my mind. I fully expected to walk in and see my little one moving aroung with a strong heartbeat. Not this time!
This time I was awake until 2 AM watching episodes of "Bones" and "House" in order to keep my mind occupied. I tossed and turned and prayed the rosary four times. I'm sure it didn't help that Foster was out of town, and the only company I had was my two furbabies, but I could not settle my thoughts. In times like this, knowing too much information can be a detriment.
Since Foster was out of town, I aked my sister to accompany me to my appointment. She is a NICU nurse, and I figured she could make sure to aske the questions I might have forgotten. She met me there at 1:30 and we headed up to registration. My stomach was in knots, and I felt like I was going to vomit the entire morning. We sat.....and sat.....and SAT! My MFM office needs to learn that making a nervous mamma wait is not the best thing to do. I paced and fidgetted and talked WAY too much. My poor sister was probably ready to tie me down to the chair and tape my mouth shut! The aide took me back to check my weight and BP, and suprisingly, my BP was 118/64!! I figured it would be sky high from all my anxiety. Then after an hour of waiting, they finally called me back to the u/s room.
I undressed from the waist down, and hopped up onto the table. It was a little nerve racking, because the last baby u/s I had was the one that told me my daughter's heart had stopped. Granted, it wasn't in this office, but I was a bundle of nerves.
The tech got the internal probe ready, and as she proceded to start the u/s, we immediately saw a gestational sac. As she moved a little further in, the fetal pole was visible. When the fetal pole became visible, there was the most beautiful sight an expectant mother could see, the flutter of the baby's heart! Bug's hand tightened around my hand which she had been holding since the beginning of the exam, and we both had tears well up in our eyes. Our smiles spread from ear to ear, "There it is!" I exclaimed.
"Nice and strong, and beating away," the tech said. "I am so happy, because I was nervous with as early as you are, the heart beat would be intetectable," She made a few measurments, "143 beats per minute. That is wonderful! You are measuring 2 days behind you estimated gestational age, so that makes me even more suprised we were able to see a heart beat. Hold on one minute," she said. She explained I was measuring 6w5d as opposed to 7w as she moved the wand and isolated the heart, "Hold REAL still and quite," she said. Then as we all held our breaths, we heard it, "WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH" the little heart beat!! It was too soft for me to pick up on my phone recorder, but it was fast and strong. I could not contain my excitement. I asked the poor tech a million and one questions, one I KNEW she couldn't answer, but instead we had to wait for the doctor's answers. She printed me up seven copies of me little pumpkin, ended the exam, and escorted us to the doctor's office.
Dr. C was amazing. I was a little annoyed, because I had to remind him I had a 34w4d loss, and not a 20w loss. I don't know where he got that number, but I will give him some slack, I know they just started a new computer system, and it has been over 8 months since he has seen me last. He confidently mentioned about taking the baby early. When I mean early, I don't mean 38 weeks, I don't mean 36 weeks; he said he would feel confident pumping me full of steroids at 33 weeks, and taking the baby at 34w3d, "Our biggest concern is getting that baby out of that environment safely. "We're not going to go crazy and take the baby at 28 weeks, but as big as Rosalynn was at 34w4d (5lbs12oz) I am confident everyting would be just fine. We are concerned about your anxiety. You may feel okay now, but as 34 weeks gets closer, PTSD can set in." Although they are keeping my
If he is comfortable about this, I am comfortable with this. I debated awiting and seeing if I could take the baby closer to term, but God forbid I decide to try for 37 weeks, and something happens at 36! I would never be able to forgive myself. My sister says that they rarely see an issue with 34 weekers, and often see them go right back to their moms after a thourough check from the NICU.
All in all, the appointment went well. I did forget to ask a few questions, like am I on any restrictions thus far, but I will call the nurse in the morning to double check with him. I still plan on taking it easy, but I have a new pregnancy work out video I was looking forward to trying out after the doctor's approval.
Here is our very first picture of Pumpkin! I LOVE how this baby is already cooperation with mommy. He/she really knows how to make me happy!
|Pumpkin's first picture!!|
My mom says Pumpkin looks like a Gl.ow.wor.m. For those of you who aren't old enough to remember Gl.ow.wor.ms, this is what they look like:
BIG head on top, LITTLE SKINNY body! I can see it:-)